Best Bandit Poems

Oh, Bandit, what's your impish task
While sporting, sly, that little mask?

You seem quite innocent and frail
Yet the kitchen tells a different tale

Floor all messy, the counters, too
Paw prints that led straight to you

But while I had a penance planned
You're far too sweet to reprimand

Looking slumberous...

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You call me Bandit ‘cause I rummage through trash cans
Searching for leftovers with my five-fingered hands

Mama Coon, believe me, I wasn’t expectin’
To sort through the rubble and find this sweet kitten

She was tired, hungry; I shared my bounty with her
She licked my face and fell...

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Hey bro, what’s up with that
You said you were Too old Too cool
No costume No trick & treating for you
Not interested in going out to get your own candy
You’d obviously rather rummage through my stash
All in the name of helping me with my diet
I want...

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With a pull of the arm
the eyes started to roll
Sweat poured from the pits
as if nothing at all.
Tears smudged the rims
from the pull, roll, and ring
When the fruit salad face
Showed a lop-sided grin....

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Written in Scottish dialect.

Jack, Bernard and John, the Bandit Kings,
Hae handicaps wae too high.
Each o’ them score four points a hole,
Ah canna tell ye a lie!

Me, ah’m Rabbie, the bard o’ the course;
Ah’m lucky tae score yin point.
Ah feenish the game an’ come in fur...

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United Colours: Yellow 


                                         ...

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So many times I've seen him fight himself in the mirror,
wondering why his adversary moves like him,
and looks exactly just like him!
Don't ask me; sometimes he twitches his whiskers,
wondering why I don't chase away the intruder,
instead laughing at the situation.
This is one of my favorite...

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He promised to love me forever
Then again he was just being clever
He took back his love
So I gave him a shove
Headfirst in cow dung-my endeavor!





** for Indian Giver contest
  sponsored by(Destroyer ((Poet...

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BANDIT RAP  RHYME  
I am a cat
I sittin on a couch
I wear a mask
My names BANDIT
Ain't nothin wrong wit tat

I got it made
As I rest along side this plaid pillow
I'm a distinguished kitty with fan mail just chillin
Most can't handle it
Got my own...

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Hey, you, chillin’ in my spot,
why did you not ask
if I’d mind you sitting there
in your Bandit’s mask?

Couch potato (not some man)
just a real cool cat.
Where’d you get your cattitude?
I want some of THAT.

Where might be my popcorn bowl
left where you now sit?
Did you steal...

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Belle hung out and consorted with outlaws,
So folks shunned her and called her a scoff law;
But things aren't as they seem,
And though not squeaky clean,
'Twas the men in her life who were outlaws.

Sam Starr was a Cherokee man.
They married and lived on the land.
To friends...

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Hard Rock Candy bandit,
Desperado of the Country Club
Fever pitch daydreams wait in line
For heathen sacifice to your hunger.
Foolish mortals - all of them - to beg...
You are a star triumphant - singer of the latest,
Greatest song...
You are the heart blood of acceptance
On the trigger of...

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A Bandit robbed the pastry shop
Now he lies upon his seat
He's so stuffed he can't lick his paws
Even though he is so neat

He has meowed a sad meow
Tears trickle behind the mask
He would contemplate his navel
But seeing it a task

He's considering retiring  
Or change...

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Microwave Bandit
This food splattered battlefield
May you die badly...

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I love to sit on the settee
And surf the channels on tv
With no apparent skills
Don’t have to pay the bills
Yet I get pampered, you’ll agree!

I have my highs, I have my lows
My whereabouts I don’t disclose
A sucker for romance
Maybe I’ll take a chance
One day to...

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