Best Bachelor Poems
The Mutaitho hill zigzags its way to the borderlines of the sky
And to the opposite poses the historic Muilu hill once a shrine;
Now there between slithers the Kimongo River where huge rocks lie;
It’s on the banks of this river where the bachelor beekeeper lives.
His bald head is not worthy a ballad
Nor are his words so many to deserve a hoot,
It is his bee keeping zeal that stirs your blood;
An enterprise he’s run for years thirty and three.
And don’t think of the sophisticated box hives
Where you ferry the insects and lock them in,
He fells a log and hollows it all with his knives,
Till a home for bees he fashions there.
Not the low-lying things folks call hives,
Well-smoothed wooden objects lodged up the twigs
Of the most slippery trees with leaves like chives
Where no cunning badger would ever dare venture.
And he does his seasonal harvesting in the dead of the night,
While softer men curl to listen to the snores of their wives;
A night traveler will see his hairless head reflect the moonlight
And think they’ve spotted the nightly escapades of a ghost.
Now why he remains a bachelor at sixty and three
Is a secret only known to his beekeeping mind,
Perhaps nothing charms him more than a flourishing hive,
Perchance no girl would enchant more than the honeyed bee.
My son Scottie, the eligible bachelor
Has been down the road, still a lonesome traveller
His time will come
Sure as the sun
Keeps rolling around, he's a charming feller!
He was a charmer,this bachelor bunny.
The girls thought he was hilariously funny.
He'd go hopping into their briar patch.
Quite a few succulent carrots he'd snatch.
But the girl bunnies,they didn't seem to mind.
In the rabbity world he was quite a find!
One day he showed up in the valley.
He was hungry so he didn't dilly-dally.
Then one little lady took him something sweet.
She acted demure,despite those big feet.
Now the other girl bunnies were mad and jealous.
Cos' in her pursuit she was really quite zealous!
She'd decided this lop-eared boy would be hers.
He was just the type bunny the lady prefers.
But he indeed had another plan.
He grabbed her carrots and off he ran.
A confirmed bachelor bunny he would stay.
But he would be back another day.
for Carol Brown's contest"Bunny Rabbits"
A land so massive with infinite opportunities
its dwelling consisting of purchased territories
history stained in the late 18th century
by bloody rift between its vertical ends
A married bachelor with itchy interests
a wonderfully smiling acquaintance and a good friend
who hangs unto the outside window after saying goodbye
and his greed masked by synthetic virtues.
Manufacturing is becoming more of an orphan
yet guns and bullets sit on the high table of its account
just to protect its greatness by all cost
to preserve its pride and put its reputation into immense hype
Having an interesting record of its chief guardians
from a licensed bar tender to the lover of Cuban cigars
who bans them just hours after a personal purchase in thousands
and the coincidence of all beard attributed to a political group
So much comfort, so that most of its citizens
aren’t conscious of the ‘extra-border’ environment
deriving much despise and labeled as learned ignorants.
A nation most hated, most feared,
most respected and most sought after
And still ranked the number one paradise in the globe
My heart tells me you exist
Yet gravity keeps pulling me
To forces invisible
I have met sincere hearts,
With woven passion
But when I start uttering lovral
Power goes off, and fire walks out
I feel a presence of an invisible substance
shaking my spiral content
With a speechless murmur
Eyes of blue fire die in my reflection
And the invisible reality drives me suicidal
I pull my muscle to the huddle
And sit on the wooden bench
Search the social network again and again
To harvest the fruit of my passions
As i watch ‘fluoresce’ of femininity
Cradle to the vivacious souls at the beach
My heart skips a tone
The rhythm goes pop
I stare at birds I can’t catch
As they allow the wind to move their fur
To unveil their cadence of fatality
I gnaw my nails, plotting a move
To conquer your parrots
But the dreams hold me captive
I chose to surrender
To the quest of men
Till you flash your realism
And surrender
To die in my hands
As i possess your fraternity
And end the curse of…
Bachelors
If happiness can't smile upon me,
let the judge on the bench be me;
it'll spare me gray hair...
a bachelor
unworried by jealous eyes spying on me!
I’ve got the cleanest heart
Like a pebble washed by the waves.
You can pick me and put me
On the scale of yah and nah
And measure my virtues and vices.
I wake up each day with a different body
from the one I went to bed with.
I read today’s weather in the leaves
Of the trees seen from my window.
I want a female –human being
who’ll discover my corporate body
In four cage-coloured walls where
Love would enter on blind wings
And who’ll love me and leave me
With equally tranquil concision.
I love to be alone in this sterile prison.
I know marriage is a serious matter
But advice about it can be humourous.
I am a good bachelor with unusual needs
And they are greater than a married man.
*********
The poem was posted on 7/30/2005
==========================
Dr.Ram Mehta
Tenth Place win in:
Contest: Any funny poem sponsored by the Destroyer Poet
Less any objection with the missus,
versus never experiencing living alone
well...yes during that rough patch,
(sans during early adolescence),
I existed in a bone
huff fied impenetrable cocoon,
and just maybe before
yours truly dies, a clone
can be created from
stem cells of this doggone
melon collie, whimpering
beastie boy finally revelling,
where destiny does enthrone
me rendering unfettered
with round the cluck nymph fone
mani yolk hen pecking, nagging,
and leaching... from blood sucking
vampire spouse foregone
as a "bad" dream worse
than getting Rhode
Island sized gallstone
removed subsequently
saving said as gemstone
whiling away hours, days, weeks...
chiseling away at my gravestone,
no matter yours truly will get cremated
ashes scattered, liberated, and dispersed
finally exempt from grindstone,
where thee spirit
of Math Hew Homophone
Scott Harris appeased
as powdery gray flecks
similar to limestone,
that swirl reintegrating with Earth,
this quirky I poetically intone,
and soundlessly utter from jawbone,
perhaps communicating more
clearly by knucklebone.
Moment of being a bachelor are not a cup of tea,
Searching out for food just a Bee,
Wandering to and fro for a good company,
We remain alone as rootless tree,
Life without lass, lassie and Lassitude,
Bring me up with exquisite attitude,
What’s wrong if em alone, single we’re born,
It moves me up with high altitude,
Time of no worry, hurry and sorry,
Enjoying a piece of superb glory,
Sovereign of my own life, But
Roaming on the way as a lorry,
The joy of solo, pleasure of being bachelor,
Delight of single hood, Men of Plover,
Life with no aim, fame and Game!
Sleeping right & left burning in Stover.
Shahid Hussain Chouhdry
Enthusiastic he is
Loves your say
Insouciant he is
Gifts you away
Inspiring he is
Buck-up he says
Legit he is
Engrosses your days
Beloved he is
Admires you in a way
Charismatic he is
Habituates your lay
Efficient he is
Leads your way
Opposite he is
Retains your nee
What do you get when you fake love?
You get enough karma to cause errosion,
That's what you get for all the drama,
It makes..... boys and girls never want to
fall in love again.......
What do you get when you
break a heart?
You get enough pain from voodoo
darts,
That's what you get for all your
acting,
Oye!
It makes boys and girls never want
to fall in love again.......
Bet you never fake love again........
Poem says to me,”Did you bore dating the silence?”
While laughing I answer, “I’ll marry it in hasty condition!”
sunshine like warm maple syrup
pores over the boy
lying on his belly, barefoot, legs in the air
May grass, dandy line dotted
a fragrent spreading carpet
rich from earth and spring
bent elbow, chin in palm
lip upturned in smile
freckled nose and cheek
neath wide observing eye
purple and blue richly hued
fit for a royal crown
bachelor buttons on slender stems
swoon in the gentle breeze
years are gone now from the boy
memory clings as yesterday
the first bachelor buttons in May
I've earned 2 B.A.'s
One in college, long ago
One of more recent vintage
And it's of this one you ought to know
Understand, some bachelors like me
May not be what's called "normal",
as you will see
We sleep to noon
sometimes that's too soon,
No one to make us make our bed
No one mess around
With our testerone laced head
Housekeeping? No one
to yell when we make a mess
No one, then, to care
And so far as that, I tell you now,
To us, that mess, it just ain't there!
Beer and cold pizza for breakfast
If we feel we want
Though this may be at 3
No nagging wife that us they''ll haunt
And that means alot to me
But, the top benefit
Regards us when we pee
Yes, best of all, this I do swear
Is we can leave the toilet seat standing up
And no one will really care.
My son Scottie, the eligible bachelor
Has been down the road, still a lonesome traveller
His time will come
Sure as the sun
Keeps rolling around, he's a charming feller!