Best Appliance Poems

Sub-titled: What’s in YOUR Fridge?

Please allow me to introduce myself:
My name is Ms. Fridge A. Daire
I stand tall among my lesser cohorts
and MOST of them...

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Dear Fridge, you’re getting up in years. Oh, my!
How many now? You must be twenty-five!
The dishwasher already I’ve seen die.
How ever have YOU managed to...

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I'm an Ultra Quiet with a whir
Frigidaire 24” Built-In White Dishwasher
Energy saver 
With hot and cold stir
Oh yes they do make a dishwasher

I’m getting so...

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Oh My Gosh! What’s the matter with you?
You could be squatting outside over a fire! 
So you have to clean me once in awhile…big deal!
I...

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Nigella Lawson
Her food my source of inspiration
Cooking up a storm of exotic tastes
A master chef on the hot plates


09-13-2015...

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Mr Fauci Mr Fauci
You are making me to so grouchy

TV appearances persistent
I’d prefer you social distant

Every day you make a statement
Think I’ll call for noise...

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I’m smooth and sleek with cute curves
I always manage to attract your attention
You can’t wait to get your hands on me ...
Know all the right...

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Staring, vapor locked, at my Hammond B-3 console organ, which dominates my 
kitchen.  Surely a symbol of my madness.  I can't help, but...

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I started to read at the age of three
and know all the winners on Jeopardy
have posters of Einstein all over my walls
the theory of relativity...

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12/13/20
"Why Is It?"


Times of crisis
The cause of our own destruction, and being lifeless
Is more complex than science
Sometimes it involves an appliance
Sometimes it's considered sacrifices
Often from...

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Sex is a science
You can use an appliance
Don't be shy at all

Tickle her fancy
By telling your fantasy
Make it sound a ball

Don't try to diet
If it's...

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I used to be so clean and proud of myself,
In my youthful days,
Good looking and so cool,
Just seem neglected now,
It’s affected me so much,
That voices...

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Celebrate versatility, of every ethnicity
Un-marginalise, break social exclusion, transcending illusions
A streaming subject that runs deep
Of chemical appliance, let go of the defiance
Un-tick the boxes, esteeming...

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Note to Readers of Previous Versions:
There are so many new vignettes scattered throughout the poem that I hope you will reread the whole thing! There...

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Our house was built in 'sixty-eight,
     a long bi-level, brick, and white.
A retro queen I was those days,
   ...

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