Beano Poems | Examples

In Heinz Sight

“in Heinz sight”


way back 
when 
the 

beginning began 
bingo was 
yelled 

at and 
instead 
of beano

but beano 
is used 
to

reduce rudeness
that tries to 
be or

not
to be
expelled

The England Captain Throttled a Koala

And why not?
The Lucky country
Bodyline
Human skittles
Murder Incorporated 
Swing lube 

I sit with friends and 
We put
Together our greatest XI
To face Mars
My father shouts, "That's out!"
And the umpire gives it

My son reads The Beano and is 
Not interested 
In the sixes

The announcer shouts, "Make some noise Edgbaston!"
He is shoved over and the Harlequin Waitrose capped swanky pants 
In a spiffing gaggle announces, "Bowling from the City End, some bloke."

A friend told me he strangled 
A goat
"That makes you feel really alive."

Poetry In Motion Contest Wilson

Every Tuesday on the dot,
I would be off to the newsagent like a shot.
A solitary sixpence,all my wealth
to pick up my favourite comic from his shelf.

Not the Beano,Beezer,Dandy or Eagle...
the Hotspur and Wizard were my kings regal.
To read of my hero W W Wilson,the wonder man,
sporting giant extraordinaire,batted bowled and ran.

Soccer ,cricket were a piece of cake,
he left all others in his wake.
Give him the ball and the game was soon over,
he even outscored Roy of the Rover.

Bowling right armover,on a sixpence seven times from eight,
well above average Wilson was incredibly great.
He'd bowl all day at one twenty an hour,
never stopping to take a shower!

In futuristic black body suit,
an English record breaker without dispute.
My inspiration,this imagined prince,
never bettered then,before or since!

Kids Comics

With The Dandy, The Beano
The Eagle and Dan Dare
Dick Barton on the radio
The Goon Show on air
Riders of the Range
Journey into space
We kids of the fifties
Had our special place
Glued to the wireless
No screens in sight
The Third Programme the
Home Service and the light
When Sunday night came
Waiting patiently about
For Radio Luxembourg 
Fading in and out.
Carters little liver pills
Horace Bachelor’s tips
For winning  the Pools
Fish and four of chips
Salt and vinegar Splash
Newspaper wrapping
Listenining to the music
Feet quietly tapping
Playing in the fields
Hours out in the wild
This was the life of
A fifties poor child.
No time to be miserable
Deprived or dull
With such a childhood
So active and full.
Dennis the Menace Desperate Dan
Biffo,  Ace Detective Harris Tweed 
From the Eagle Dandy and Beano
All those comics we used to read

Past Times 2

Five stones
                closing times
radiograms and
              seventy-eights
school caps
              sticklebacks
saturday flicks,pooh sticks

Charabancs
              steam trains
linoleum
              oil cloth
mangles
              fish paste
sandwich spread

Hot towel shaves
        cut-throat razor
shopping baskets
          paper bags
braces,plimsoles
short,back
          and sides

Wizard beano
        and hotspur
lending libraries
picturegoer,
                road to
Bridget Bardot
            Marilyn Monroe

Dripping
          coal fires
antimacassars
nylons,suspenders
crumpets
          and toast

Brown and mild
        barrelled beer
conkers,school milk
blackboard rubbers
          and liftup desk lids
times-tabled
                school-kids

Draughts
        and allotments
rusty bikes
        roller skates
satchels and scrumping
pounds,shillings
            and pence

Saved In My Memorybank

Five stones closing times 
     radiograms & seventy-eights
 school caps      sticklebacks
 saturday flicks    pooh sticks
 Charabancs         steam trains
 linoleum oil cloth
 mangles      fish paste sandwich spread

 Hot towel shaves    cut-throat razor
 shopping baskets    paper bags 
braces, & plimsoles 
      short    back& sides

Wizard Beano & Hotspur 
lending libraries    &picturegoer
roadfilms Bridget Bardot & Marilyn Monroe

 Dripping     coal fires 
                antimacassars
 nylons suspenders 
crumpets &toast 
Brown &mild        barrelled beer
 conkers
school milk 

     blackboard rubbers & liftup desk lids
 times-tabled school-kids
Draughts & allotments
 rusty bikes     roller skates
 satchels &scrumping 
with mates
hence
no
pounds  shillings or        pence

Need Approvable

Power's out, sure hope it's fixed soon
Got poems in my beano just bursting to bloom
Some award winning stuff
Like Shakespeare in the rough
Stardom awaits but need power to resume

Need Approval

Power's out, sure hope it's fixed soon
Got poems in my beano just bursting to bloom
Some award winning stuff
Like Shakespeare in the rough
Stardom awaits but need power to resume

My Happy Pills

Must take my “happy pills” twice a day
Or another collapse will be on its way
Nothing serious
Don't get supercilious
Unless I bash  my beano if off-target I'll stray

When You Bury Me

When You Bury Me

Bury me with dentures in case I'll need to eat
a Beano annual from Christmas, nineteen-sixty-eight
summer scent remembered from the fallow field
my wee red trike with its wobbly wheels

Bury with me a walking stick, my tattered summer hat
fold my arms, cross my feet because that'll be surely that
lay clag-n-clay upon me, with care kind and gentle
tamp the earth lovingly, act morbidly sentimental 

Bury with me an old school photo one in monochrome
prove I was when all be left is muck and grizzled bone
remember fill my trouser pockets with minty sucky sweets 
cause even after death you see I'd appreciate some treats

Tell them all about my life my unrealised ambitions
please don't give away me telescope, fossils or television
and tell my family I know I could have been much better
look beneath the mantle clock, It's where I left this letter

Please, May There Beano More Gas

There was an old man from Bluegrass,
          who always ate green sassafras.
                        His tummy got icky,
                        somersaults and sicky,
                 took pills, now there’ll BEANO more gas!




A Limerick, Old or New: Your personal favorite Poetry Contest
8-8-6-6-8 syllable count
howmanysyllables.com


Written: April 10, 2018

My Last Whack At the Cat

Another happy day says, Happy Old Jack,
My giggles each day, sure add up to a stack
I'm a happy burrito
Filling my beano
With joyous emissions till my last whack at the cat

Comic Con

Comics come in many forms 
From Archie and friends 
To Batman and Superman
Beano and the Dandy
Vampire stories
If you have a penchant for blood
Japanese ninja assassin's 
Laura Craft tales for the girl's 
Science Fiction from Galaxy's far away

But if Hustler or Playboy
Are more your thing
A word of advice
Don't bother visiting Comic Con
It may be dark 
But It's most definitely not Blue
Sorry for you

Starting To Foam

Sit yourself down and make ye at home
Your welcome my friend, no need to roam
We have all you need
Your beano we'll feed
It won't be long before you're starting to foam

Freaking Out

Should have known winter ain't done yet
What was I thinking we mustn't forget
There's still three more weeks
Till the end of this streak
My big old beano is freakishly upset

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