Long Beano Poems

Walter Bomble was in a bad mood today.
Because only that morning he was moved away
From his cozy home at the foot of the bed; 
In Joey’s room with a view of the shed.
But that wasn’t...

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He comes to his father holding his pet,
“Something’s wrong with Beano, he needs a vet!”

The Father looks down and seeing the frog,
Struggles with words to explain to the sprog.

So he takes a deep breath and...

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This is for Andrea D. who asked for my Cow Gas poems.  I have at least one more to 
post.  Look for California Cows.    Mike

Cow Gas

I’m putting my cows all...

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Stung with the absence of his father, he excruciatingly rumbled deep inside of his mother’s womb. 
He stormed out already filled with disappointing void. 
The mother’s joy was of uncertainty. 
Memories of her husband, flashed...

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Dan Dare
by Robert (Bob) Moore (c) 2016

Clean your room my mam would say, it’s like a sty in there
I’d start to do what I was told, then find Eagle and Dan Dare
The Dandy and the...

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There's nothing funny about flatuence
My wife has it all the time
Course she always blames it on me
And I'll always say, yes dear, it's mine

The worst time, is on those cold nights
With the covers pulled over...

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You hadn't had any forewarning
as you take a spoonful of
Granny's 12 alarm chili,
not knowing its the
calm before the storm
as its about to set off an alarm,
when you take your 
first bite, you try to show...

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The Reunion

I’ve been invited to a classroom reunion,
I can see my old chums over there.
Geordie Cockle has got a green suit on,
While Denver Crisp, is sporting no hair.

These people don’t look as I remember,
Some are...

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Five stones     
                 closing times
radiograms and
         ...

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Five stones
                closing times
radiograms and
              seventy-eights
school caps
              sticklebacks
saturday flicks,pooh sticks

Charabancs
             ...

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When You Bury Me

Bury me with dentures in case I'll need to eat
a Beano annual from Christmas, nineteen-sixty-eight
summer scent remembered from the fallow field
my wee red trike with its wobbly wheels

Bury with me a walking...

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The chara’ left the pub at seven thirty
The lads were there on time, and full of cheer
We heads off for the seaside, on our beano
Me mates and me and loads of lovely beer
As soon as...

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With The Dandy, The Beano
The Eagle and Dan Dare
Dick Barton on the radio
The Goon Show on air
Riders of the Range
Journey into space
We kids of the fifties
Had our special place
Glued to the wireless
No screens in sight
The...

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re-post inspired by Brenda's contest

THE HERO

Every Tuesday on the dot,I would be off to the newsagent like a shot.A solitary 
sixpence,all my wealth to pick up my favourite comic from his shelf.Not the 
Beano,Beezer,Dandy or...

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Every Tuesday on the dot,
I would be off to the newsagent like a shot.
A solitary sixpence,all my wealth
to pick up my favourite comic from his shelf.

Not the Beano,Beezer,Dandy or Eagle...
the Hotspur and Wizard were my...

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Every Tuesday on the dot,
I would be off to the newsagent like a shot.
A solitary sixpence,all my wealth to pick up 
my favourite comic from his shelf.Not the 
Beano,Beezer,Dandy or Eagle...
the Hotspur and Wizard were...

Read More

Five stones closing times 
     radiograms & seventy-eights
 school caps      sticklebacks
 saturday flicks    pooh sticks
 Charabancs       ...

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Every Tuesday on the dot,I would be off to the newsagent like a shot.A solitary 
sixpence,all my wealth to pick up my favourite comic from his shelf.Not the 
Beano,Beezer,Dandy or Eagle...the Hotspur and Wizard were...

Read More

D'ya notice how handsome
This dude is today
Bet you're speechless
And totally amazed

Can't imagine the difficulty
You haven't a clue
To wake up, such a specimen
While maintaing my cool

Now you may think my beano
Is too big for my britches
But...

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PEPTO BISMOL said to her friend, "MLANTA's coming over, what should I serve?"

Her friend replied, "Perhaps your ANTACID would like a PRILOZEC salad, if she has ZANTAC
of her TUMS.  If she's not hungry, you...

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Found a new friend, his name is Jon
Asked him, 'where the heck is your H?'
He tried to recall and seemed to remember
There was a shortage in 1938

Parents failed to put their order in on time
So...

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My gait is much slower
My memory's shot
The hair on my beano
Is thinning a lot

My mind doesn't notice
Thinks nothing's changed
Who am I kidding
I must be deranged

Now starting to notice
These things that occur
On a near daily basis
Pretty...

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And why not?
The Lucky country
Bodyline
Human skittles
Murder Incorporated 
Swing lube 

I sit with friends and 
We put
Together our greatest XI
To face Mars
My father shouts, "That's out!"
And the umpire gives it

My son reads The Beano and is...

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There are so many cures today
There's help for whatever comes your way
 
There's an almost cure for headaches that linger
Most of the time they can reattach a severed finger
 
There's transplants for thinning hair
And so...

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