"Woman, I see through your disguise,
The alimony tears in your eyes,
You swore we were forever, then came the papers,
Now my paycheck’s yours like some legal capers."
"Oh-ho, you framed it just right,
False claims in the moonlight,
One call to the cops and I’m done for the night,
But baby, you know you’re still winning the fight."
"Take the house, take the kids,
take the judge’s side too,
Tax me dry like the IRS do,
One more court date, oh, what a surprise,
You taught me the meaning of ‘settle or die.’"
"Woman, remember that ‘mutual’ trust?
Now my bank account’s turning to dust,
You swore you’d never weaponize visitation,
But here’s your lawyer’s fifth deposition."
"Oh-ho, the system’s your knight,
My freedom’s your alibi,
One more ‘he said, she said’ and I’m locked up tight,
But hey, at least you sleep well at night."
"I love you—just kidding, that ship has sailed,
I’ll be paying your spa days while I rot in jail,
Doo, doo, doo, doo… see you in court!"
Doo, well, well... da, da, doo, doo!
Weddings of pomp and ceremony
~ lead to higher alimony
When it’s time to pay alimony
~ spendthrifts discover parsimony
Enjoy every moment
While you still can
Life is short
Every second is precious
Not option to be sad
If you find time to help
Help with all your heart
Nothing short of alimony
We never pass this way again
Be good in everything you do
One small act of goodness
One may find a boarding pass
And a ticket to eternity.
Sir Michael DeVil
Sir Michael DeVil
My soon to be ex
Is a jerk and a pill.
I cannot wait to try to break his will
For being
Deceiving
I’ll take his abode and make him fulfill
His alimony obligations, what a thrill!
Sir Michael at first glance seems like a great guy
But once you see behind his suave veneer
The man will cheat and lie
Then leave you high and dry
And only when he needs you reappear.
This dangerous viper
This liar and creep
Should be shot by a sniper
Or be put to sleep
My life was such a peaceful one until
Sir Michael, Sir Michael DeVil.
had heard a story
became an allegory
about Alimony
more poems are writing
you to read am inviting
both lips have been biting
Have exceeded my space
againso had to ad this to
this.
what we did was wave
had died at home of the brave
when we saw his grave
Joe we enjoy
for sure we would employ
being so showy
Alexandra Tolstoy, lost it all, the bamks just
Threw her to the wall, held her funds
Locked her out, her fault?
Her Russian husbannd no doubt.!
Although he'd left for many years she took
The hit, expetienced fear; according to some
Info held she lived in Monaco sone records did
Tell, sh'ed visited twice..is domiciled U K, her
Absent man had alimony not paid.' Despite these
Facts it was claimrd otherwise on the flimsiest of
'False; facts' some company filed, not much of a
Bank of records in truth.' Then She got some air to
Tell her truth, nat-west did a u-turn paid her money
Yet the story morals are hardly funny, so be aware
Of subjective 'truths' watch out your info is not
Fool-proof, fact checking' today? Is as we know.'
Not real kosher, yet why is this so..?
There is a legend of a cowboy down in Texas
To whom they give the sobriquet of Pecos Bill.
It's said he rooted and he tooted
As across the plains he scooted,
Stetsoned, jeaned, bowlegged, and booted,
Pursuing cows and wooing gals
As was his skill.
The story goes one day while Bill was out romancing,
A cyclone came and rudely whisked the gal away.
He hopped atop the thing to ride it,
Quickly lassoed and hogtied it,
Then none the worse for wear and tear and rough foreplay,
Out stepped the gal,
And Pecos Bill had saved the day.
Now, legends often tend to get a bit inflated,
And this one here is no exception to the rule.
Some say it's too exaggerated,
I say it's well imaginated.
Like alimony oilmen often pay their exes,
Things are always so much bigger down in Texas.
Of course, it's hogwash, rubbish, bunk,
And yet how often have I thunk
That the tale of Pecos Bill is kinda cool.
The Environment of Prosody
Suits not ‘Courts’ stand on Child custody,
Silly scratching up some melody
For what to a party is bloody
And might only excuse Threnody…
Its pains to father losers much stiff,
Court rooms they leave like some Child Thief
For - yes - a child is its mum’s fat hope
For Alimony - its dad’s steep slope;
Ex-wife for New Lover and mattress,
Alimony-Paying Guy for stress,
As long waiting for Child’s Eighteen Years
Better done in a mourner’s wear…
s
Not always nice story: bank account
And courts do not seem to this count;
All about a man honoring
But, sure, the woman, coloring…
Oftenest child custody women’s
Till date what a compassionate law means.
Some call him lazy and his wife calls him a jerk.
His wife is very angry because he will not work.
He won't get a job even though he's an able-bodied man.
Her husband refuses to get a job even though he can.
His wife is getting sick and tired of having to support him and their four kids.
She'd like to auction him off on ebay and she doesn't care how low people would bid.
He says that he can't work even though he has no disability.
His wife would get a divorce but she'd have to pay alimony.
She struggles to support her family and doesn't know where to turn.
An extra paycheck would come in handy but the bum will never learn.
He likes to sit on his ass and watch TV all day long while drinking his beer.
If the slob could be paid for that, he would earn a million bucks every year.
When everything is said and done,
His wife is looking to buy a shotgun.
When he continues to refuse to get a job, his wife does not know what to do.
If you're a woman who will take him off her hands, she will be indebted to you.
a sociopath
selfserving and destructive
egotistical
God gargantuan
favorite of mine has been
at end say Amen
snow fell on shoulder
could cause him to be colder
when he was older
reminds me of them
handsome looking very trim
happy never grim
Brown Girl Dreaming
Jacqueline Woodson,
Poet
Brown Girl Dreaming Jacqueline Woodson, Poet - Search (bing.com)
heard testimony
have to pay alimony
bunch of bologna
I don't cuss or smoke,
And I don't chew "tabakky";
I don't sniff or dip snuff,
Ugh! that stuff is just tacky;
I only drink on occasion,
Like at sundown and such;
I rarely go to casinos
Or play the lottery much;
I've never had to pay child support
Or owed back alimony;
I may go shopping for steak
But usually bring home baloney;
I don't snort or shoot drugs;
Have no rings in my nipples;
Tried to get a tattoo, once,
But couldn't stand all the tickles.
Folks who're loaded with vices
Seem to have all the fun.
Why am I the exception
And not have even one?
I admit it, I'm dull,
And my life's complete boredom.
Sure, I'd have vices, too,
If I could better afford 'em.
The main reason I'm good,
And I won't try to fudge it,
Is because being bad
Is just not in my budget.
He tightly sermonized on Harmony,
Neatly anchoring it in More Money:
How none of it unleashes Acrimony
And could crush A Holy Matrimony.
Soon, he alighted on Ceremony
But still built it on More Money:
The Humorless it clothes with The Funny,
A fiesta sweetening like Honey…
A public preacher, then, on More Money,
Now, his listeners fooling with Harmony
Next The Thing titling Ceremony.
More Money Man’s Doubly Assured Harmony,
Even the seeds from Strangled Matrimony,
Keeps tending with Authorized Alimony.
When my ex wife cashes her alimony check, all tellers shoot her a hard glance.
I never write "Alimony" in the memo section, I always write, "Lap Dance."
Literal is not,
the fake climb is aunt,
and a stake in the attrition not an alimony as you can see clearly in me...I do not assuage an empire-
I follow in the most economical exigencies,
as one is up, another is down my friend.
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