Being Bad
I don't cuss or smoke,
And I don't chew "tabakky";
I don't sniff or dip snuff,
Ugh! that stuff is just tacky;
I only drink on occasion,
Like at sundown and such;
I rarely go to casinos
Or play the lottery much;
I've never had to pay child support
Or owed back alimony;
I may go shopping for steak
But usually bring home baloney;
I don't snort or shoot drugs;
Have no rings in my nipples;
Tried to get a tattoo, once,
But couldn't stand all the tickles.
Folks who're loaded with vices
Seem to have all the fun.
Why am I the exception
And not have even one?
I admit it, I'm dull,
And my life's complete boredom.
Sure, I'd have vices, too,
If I could better afford 'em.
The main reason I'm good,
And I won't try to fudge it,
Is because being bad
Is just not in my budget.
Copyright © Jim Slaughter | Year Posted 2022
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