Funny Women Poems

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Woman A and Woman B
Woman A speaks about Woman B
Don’t know what she sees in her husband for the life of me
I run in to...

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Her face showed he'd come off as predal
Now it was too late to backpedal
"Stupid wins prizes,"
She shouts, "of all sizes,"
Her handprint now worn like a...

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I used to miss your touch, now your hands feel like claws

I used to melt in your stare, now your eyes come with bristles

I used...

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DIVORCE POEM: ALL DONE NO MORE FUN SON 
So now is crunch time,  
There is no more entertaining any-more Sunday brunch times! 
There’s no...

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Women over 50 are Invisible
(according to one source)

But…isn’t that a superpower?

Please don’t notice me
wearing the same black leggings
three days in a row
Content to sit on...

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I am an original she told us, I am messy and weird.
We had no actual knowledge, but believed her for a minute.
Within an hour we...

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We moved six times she tells him.
I moved nineteen times when I was a kid.
She stares at him.  “That must have been rough.”
He shrugs....

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There once was a city called Zor
it was home to many a bore 
	the women fainted
	and the men feinted
that was what Zor was famous for
...

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Women in my family,                                           ...

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Each girl came for looks
Each girl took some work
Each girl never meant much
Each girl left for shirks

Wonder what each would want
Wonder what each one got
Looking...

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Today I met you for the first time,                 ...

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He tightly sermonized on Harmony,
Neatly anchoring it in More Money:
How none of it unleashes Acrimony
And could crush A Holy Matrimony.
Soon, he alighted on Ceremony
But still...

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She thinks she is all that my sister and I said.
She was blonde and magnificent. We wished her dead.
She came over to see us and...

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Forgetful moments, hair thinning,
Memories fading, ears ringing,
Hands wrinkled, boobs drooping,
Knees weak, words looping,
Silver top, hot flushing,
Bladder weakness, loo rushing,
Bones tired, sleeping less,
Couldn’t care, such a...

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