My Wildfire
You touched me
and the forests inside me flared not gently,
not like a kiss,
but like the match that forgets it was ever small.
I burned not for ruin, but for release.
Even the stars watched from a distance
But you
you vanished in the blaze you lit inside me.
Chose the sharpest edge of silence
and called it peace.
Left your body like broken bark, your name
like smoke in my lungs.
And I
I sift through ash, finding pieces of myself
you never meant to leave behind.
The fire is out.
But the ruins remember.
And damn you for dying like that
and leaving me to live in what’s left,
flames burn
sky smoke filled
dark like late day
the smell of burnt wood drifts-
I weep
I am a wildfire,
burning alone in the middle of nowhere
I wish I were a meadow
in the middle of somewhere enchanted.
my devotion
was the ocean’s depth
never-ending,
hard to reach,
but not impossible.
I could devour
with love,
with care,
with happiness—
yet some found me unlovable,
hard to cope with,
hard to give up something for.
still,
I held on
to that gust of wind,
my flickering hope
to find someone
worth loving,
worth giving up for,
my resilience—
like tree roots,
buried deep,
hard and unbrittle
standing again,
again
after every heartpain.
I search still,
for warmth,
for a blanket of love
I once dreamed of...
unknown
how the dragon's
fangs exhale wildfire and
metamorphose the green into
cinders?
How quickly anger
turns to rage, spreads
like wildfire, devours
whatever is
in its way
hollow the words seem when said to a wall,
bounce back with fear and anger to keep,
papal silence for the thrall to burrow asleep,
worms of thoughts weep by sunrise to fall.
skills of a magistrate in proper order would bow,
kings would castrate themselves to drink milk,
cows jump moons for the money pig on top,
steak and bacon sizzle on the solar flare.
where are we in all this, wondrous saloon?
cowgirls and cowboys, or more like cowards?
the paddle doors swinging and the guns draw,
would you shoot or hesitate, ten steps is all you take?
turn and boom it all flutters down in spades,
joining in this house of cards in the breeze.
the scalding smoke
smothers
raging wildfires burn with bestial fury
toxic smoke saturates the Lower 48
smoky air sears through lethargic lungs
AIR QUALITY ALERTS!
AQI 80>100>300>400+
Codes Orange>Red>Purple>Maroon
purple dots proliferate on the map
N95 masks stage a comeback
The Big Apple suffocates in orange haze
the smothering sky
smolders
Set the forest aflame,
As I realize how’re no longer the same.
Set my sight on escaping,
As I run from wildfire ever burning.
You ask me what I'm afraid of,
Is it spiders, snakes, heights?
Does your heart race every time you're on a mountain?
Or plummeting through the sky on gliders?
Let me tell you what I'm afraid of,
Not heights,
Not animals,
Not danger,
But of everyday life,
Of the thoughts that consume my brain,
The fear that one day, it'll all be too much for me,
Everything crashing down to an abrupt end,
My existence consisting of tears and memories,
So you ask what I'm afraid of,
Of the future,
Of the loneliness,
Of the walking into school everyday,
Skydiving isn't a challenge,
Neither is swimming with sharks,
But coming face to face with the monster that is my anxiety,
Stirs the greatest fear of all
geese fall migration
firetruck Waaaaaahhhhhhh echos
dense smoke bellows
children of an emerald isle
inhabiting a pause
in brutish wars
dulcet notes
of tenderest voices
raining as leaves
from autumn's branches
rivulets of caramel warmth
energizing oft rejected
lovers' embraces
as he loosens her plaits
of cinnamon and wildfire
she raises piquant lips
to his nakedly innocent
adoration
Now I am certain of nothing
But your existence, in chaotic disbelief.
The scurry of feet patter down the path
Of the avenue & city blocks downtown.
As beautiful as you are dangerous,
Now open to the world around you.
A fiery ship intentionally dragging it’s
Anchor in obsession.
Not knowing how or when to stop.
The smog of smoke eases its way down.
We all were told to evacuate.
What is this place?
What is this promise made anew?
Some days are better than others,
The stars blend in with the search lights.
At times it’s hard to tell which is which.
I stand in both shock & awe.
It looks like the sky has split open,
The closest I’ll ever get to the sun
Not knowing how, or when to stop
You’ve always been familiar to me
Wildfire season - I inhale, and choke
On fiery air, try to blink away haze
But all the sunlight is full of smoke
Drizzling embers fall in a burning dose
Like stealthy predators, they come too close
Swallowing the land in a scarlet blaze
Leaving us homeless and broke
(this is a repost from a poem of mine from 2018 - I reposted it because the county in Oregon where I live is currently under a level 2 evacuation, which means 'be ready to leave on a moment's notice' - my niece and her family already evacuated. So this is more resonant to me today then when I first wrote it~)
I realized today a deep existential anxiety
Not for myself but for my country
Which in many decades
I have never before known
I can sense it spreading, taking hold
Everything seems like kindling ready to combust
Our eyes grow clouded and our breathing labored
As fear settles on the land like wildfire smoke
I can see it all slipping away
Like the weekend my father died
Naked and powerless
Bound to his fate
September 4, 2020
Bucking bronco, rotating out the gate,
Ton of flesh, an expression of hate,
Provoked to anger in a pen,
Intentionally, by rodeo men.
Brutal Tongue, through lips at rapid rate,
Can unload tons of passion and hate,
Provoked to anger from within,
Intentionally, by devilish fiend.
Burning like a wildfire out of control,
Stronger than firefighters on patrol,
Each one can hit like a lightning jolt,
Bronco with shock; man with thunderbolt.
Midst man or beast; taming the wild is hard,
Cowboy or steed in rodeo yard,
Tongue or bronco with flaming ire,
“Tis hard to bridle a burning wildfire.
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