You were always so good
At hiding yourself in the dark
I tried and I tried
To throw you out
Of the furthest
recesses of my mind
And somehow
you are still there
Embedded in
the deepest crevices
of my brain
Where I couldn't see you
Lurking there
in the blackness
For thirty years
Waiting ...
for one of those days
When I'm down and out
So you can kick her
When she's already on the ground
Fighting ...
to get back on her feet
Knees buckling
Remembering how
to stand again
One day at a time
Before taking my first steps
Recalling well enough
How to believe
How to smile
How to run
From the darkness
And away into the sun
Where you can't hide from me
Where light and heat
Disintegrates you to dust
Revealing all
That you are and were
Until there is nothing
left of you
To blow on the wind
… Out of sight
Out of mind ...
One day at a time.
Boneless tongue
Breaking heart
Like a drum
Beating starts
Curses curled
Painting pain
Verses hurled
All in vain
Name calling
Verbs abused
Heart falling
Words used
Start with N
End with grin
Worse shaming
To offend
Soul of gold
Blackened skin
Be so bold
To defend
Words absurd
Can’t break in
God’s true herd
Despite sin
I’m often told I am not good enough,
According to my mom, I do nothing right.
She yells and insults and leaves in a huff.
Her cruel remarks, they haunt me at night.
I’m told to do this, I’m told to do that
But i’m never asked “Val how was your day”
It’s alw’ys “Val, you’re a witch” “Val you’re a brat”
So, over time, my love for myself dec’ys.
I don’t understand why she yells at me.
She is my mother, that’s not what moms do
All parents yell but not to this degree.
All parents get angry, but insults dont spew.
My mom was the first bully in my life,
if she doesn’t show me kindn’ss, why should I?
Violet violent voice
As if you have no choice
You choose to be mean and demeaning
Then don’t understand
Heavy hands that wave screaming
Your cancerous mouth shouts
Cursing screaming and loud
As if you have a lift to be
Better than a higher power cloud
You can not be loving
And hurtful at the same time
You are not helping with words unkind
Truth can be spoken without razor words
Cutting the white wings of black bird
Verbal abuse is harder to prove
For gaslighting fighting is so rude
One day you will be old and gray
With only your words to light your day
Don’t be that old one who is alone
With wicked words black and strong
Like cold old coffee in a cup chrome
No love for bullies in the retirement home
My mother’s words cut deeper than knives.
They slash me and live deep inside my skin.
Tr’velling to my heart, they eat me alive.
Negative remarks radiate within.
“I could just murder you right now, you witch.”
I keep telling mys’lf I don’t believe her,
But the more she talks, the less i can r’sist.
They mult’ply and take over limb by limb,
With every word my spark withers away.
My spark vanished and my self esteem follows,
Tears welling, spilling down my cheeks, astray.
As the words eat at me, my inside hollows.
The words, they’re sharp, with razor-like teeth
They won’t leave my skin, they just lurk beneath.
Escaping the depths of the murky lake,
leg-kicking upward in frantic haste,
arms grasp for purchase
in what surely will be my watery grave.
Head breaks the surface,
lungs gulp for precious air,
burning, aching subsides,
drown-panic-dying moment passes.
Another failed attempt by me
to prove I am not aqua phobic.
So reminiscent of our years together
as I flail in the waters of regret
for sticking with you
for better or worse – mostly worse,
suffocating from my fear of you.
You stand on the shore
of Lake Verbal Abuse
while I flounder
in the depths of inadequacy,
never doing enough to please you.
I don my mental life vest,
swimming away from your cruel intentions.
Embracing the water’s cool surface,
its buoyancy, its life-giving waves,
I float my way to freedom —
if only in my mind.
Roses are red
violets are blue
Your mouth is rubber
My feelings are glue
Why must you hate
I haven't a clue
Your narcissistic
Negative mind
Affects us too
Every time
Soon you'll find
Yourself alone
But before I go
I've got one more poem
Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But your words really f****** hurt
from the time you wake
he gnaws at you
about anything and everything
his voice drills into you like nails
every day the same record plays
always the same voice
telling you how you hate him
telling you how the house is a mess
the kids won't listen
same argument every day
until you start to believe
that you're the one who's wrong
he is like the weather, inconsistent and unpredictable.
and we're like meteorologists,
always trying to predict when the rain will come and go.
but the truth is we don't know.
sometimes there's not a cloud in the sky yet the rain still falls.
How hard is the letting go when it’s all you know
Shadows under ice
One
Wrong
Step
Cracks become fissures to fall through
Shadow black eyes
No
Sleep
Tonight
Dark steps pacing in the shadow-land
Despair a choke-hold
Run
Let
Go
My heart, my soul, my life
forged by fire
no longer your verbal
punching bag
I cry for my mother
because that voice, which is like a shear,
presses its blade unto her skin—
drip — gore oozes from the wound; she doesn’t shed a tear,
but i feel it within.
that voice, which is like a shark,
sinks its teeth around her head—
slowly enough to hear the crunch of her skull,
But i feel it instead.
That voice, which is like a noose,
tightens its rope around her throat—
not even a whisper gets loose,
feeling it too, I’m choked.
I cry for my mother
because that voice used to belong to her lover
but now it cuts her and she suffers,
I wish for a father who loves and loves her
You were probably having a bad day but that was no excuse.
When you gave me a lift, I had to be subjugated to your verbal abuse.
I didn't retaliate, your abuse was something that I took.
But later you chose to verbally abuse me again on Facebook.
You abused me a second time because I didn't thank you for giving me the ride in your SUV.
But I never say thank you to a person who has just verbally abused me.
You hurt my feelings but I'll forget the incidents if you want to make peace.
But if you come to my house to cause trouble, I will call the police.
You seriously damaged our friendship by abusing me verbally.
I'd better never see you again unless it's to make up with me.
once said its too late
a name can't be taken back
for words never die
Verbal Abuse of Children
By Elton Camp
While it’s true that words may not break bones
They can lead to a lifetime of sorrowful moans
When said to a child, far more than an adult
Feelings of rejection & no worth may result
To tell some kid that he’s stupid as can be
Often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy
To say that you wish he’d never been born
Can cause him in utter dismay to mourn
To say, “Everything was fine till you came along”
Makes a child feel his whole existence is wrong
To exclaim, “You’re the ugliest I’ve ever seen”
Can destroy the ego even of some beauty queen
The words, “You’ll never amount to a thing”
Self-loathing to an innocent child may bring
I grew up hearing such hatred from my dad
Even now, as an old man, it makes me sad
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