Funny Valentines Day Poems | Examples

These Funny Valentines Day poems are examples of Valentines Day poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Valentines Day Funny poems written by international poets.

Although retired and glad to be "job free"
I've still places to go, things to do, people to see...

When I get back home the first 'Order of Biz'
Is seek out where Sweetie Lady is

I start my search through 1st floor rooms
Kitchen; computer niche; both bedrooms

If searching fails to show where she went
I go down to check our cold basement

She doesn't go up to the model airplane attic
So all that points to my one remaining tactic

Explore the 'Wilderness': to wit:
The lot on which our house doth sit

Although the view across the yard would seem to be quite clear
She has amazing ability in it to disappear

So then I have to raise my voice
Like a pet owner, but I have no choice

I plead "Please call to me, my Sweetie Dear!
I cannot tell if you are here!"

She emerges from some bush, with pruner
How can I not have seen her sooner?

No matter, now that she's in sight 
I only want to hug her tight!

Love of my Life: searching I DON't dread 
Is when I search for you at night
Close by me...in our bed!

© Scott Kruize  

Sweetheart
no gifts needed
no tech, just our presences 
laughter, games, fun, and pleasure too
romance.

© Monulita Boey  

a valentine's match 
my new bed will host a match ~
between Jane and me

© Maclawrence Famuyiwa  

next valentine's day
my new vase will host some guests ~
red and white roses

© Maclawrence Famuyiwa  

Happy V Day 

HAPPY ?? DAY

On this! The Lover's Day?
If I could have my selfish way?
I'd have you stay with me and play.
Cause Today? Like Everyday, I pray that God keeps you, and holds the Devil at Bay.
I promise you, I'll never betray, run away,
or allow anything to lead me astray, 
From your Caring, Crazy, Funny, Loving,  & Thoughtful attributes to me you display. 
 Your smile I can see, whether you are or are NOT in front of me.  And I must say to a degree?
It sets my mind free, 
And causes me to be,
A better person times 3.
   And your Kiss? When I reminisce?   
With those soft lips? I truly Miss, 
Cuz to me? Its PRICELESS!
B A B E.......
I've been Gaurded for so long, 
Just trying to stay strong, 
For me, Fam, my kids, staying away from anyone who
came along.
Until now? I was never willing to start, and open up my heart, for fear of it being blown apart. 
But with you? I am really enjoying the way this relationship is growing. 
Please understand that this dating stuff? Is new to me, so I may need some guidance to finding that key, that opens the door for you and me ??
HAPPY VALENTINES BABE!

© Barrett Brown  

In the quiet of twilight's tender embrace,
Our souls entwine, a celestial grace.
Your eyes, twin stars, guide me home,
In this cosmic dance, we're not alone.

Beneath moon-kissed skies, our love unfurls,
A symphony of constellations, stardust swirls.
Your laughter, a melody, sweet and true,
Echoes through time, painting skies anew.

With whispered secrets, our hearts align,
Two constellations, forever intertwined.
Your touch, a sonnet, soft against mine,
Writing verses of passion, love's grand design.

Through seasons and storms, we'll endure,
Our love, a canvas, vibrant and pure.
In this universe we've woven, side by side,
Forevermore, our love shall abide.

Across the vast expanse of time and space,
Our love story etched in every star's embrace.
Hand in hand, we'll chase infinity's glow,
Two souls entwined, forevermore to know.

© Dave Harding  

Bought me blue roses,
And served me seafood salad
And dizzying red wine,
Best Valentine of my life.

© Kudzai Mhangwa  

Oh hey girl, I have to inquire 
Do you like to sit on live wire?
    You’re making me choke 
    From all of that smoke
‘Cause damn girl, that booty’s on fire!

© Jessica Wheeler  

Valentine limericks can be funny
Flowers and candy cost lots of money
But I love my wife 
And value my life
So I’ll buy her both and call her ‘honey’

© Mark Koplin  

Their meeting, first time, was merry.
The flip from her lips, bit airy.
   Her drink could sink ships.
   She takes sip and quips,
“Would you like to eat my cherry?”

© Kim Rodrigues  

Fred heard his new crush loved men with red hair
And went next door to a salon called Flare
Now dyed red for his new date
Valentine's Day he couldn't wait
Until the back of his head was left bare

© Tania Kitchin  

Album of the poems 

In the cage I am alone

In the cage how can I fight with my soul

In the cage how will I stop my breath

In the cage how can I stop thinking about you

In the cage how can I Care you

In the cage how can I return back My soul is giving me pain

In the cage my pain missing your voice
In
That woke up please I can't see you a death

In a cage how can I completely forgot our name which is informal to the society

I break it up because it is just a fog of our open eyes dream that we are far away in this album of poems....



With love all
Jagdish bajantri

© Jagdish Bajantri   

Valentine chocolate candy hearts and sugar tarts, love’s jitterbug

© Linda Alice Fowler  

Cupid’s bow broken
	unrequited affection ~
		better luck next year

© Linda Alice Fowler  

It’s the 14th of February
And I’m all by my lonesome self again.
Been searching on Tinder, Hinge and Bumble,
Hoping to find the love of my life, or even a special friend.
I’ve done speed dating, gone to all the local clubs and bars,
But all I get are “No thanks” or “I can only go out with guys with nice cars.”
Been hanging at Starbucks and the local bookstores too,
But it seems like the women all ignore my advances-
What’s a guy gotta do?
I’m working out at the gym five times a week
Hoping my physique will get the attention I seek.
But why when I go up to talk to the ladies,
Do they all seem to need to run to the bathroom a minute after I speak.
I’ve been writing poetry, reading books to have something interesting to say,
But can’t quite understand why the opposite sex won’t give me the time of day.
Well today is the day I’m really going to find a Valentine’s Day date,
Just gotta let my roommate (who’s my mom) know that I might be home a bit late.

© Michael Lee