The reader of this title
probably thinks I'm on a bender
It's all about some comfort
I've not abandoned my male gender
For some years now leather belts
are causing pain around the hips
Now I get a pair of panty hose
and cut it into strips
The way I live my life
is far removed from orthodox
The strips hold up my shorts alone
many years since I adorned myself in jox
So men now take yourself into a lingerie boutique
get some panty hose to make a stretchy belt
Wrap it round your belly
so much comfort never felt
Sometimes when wearing zipless tighter shorts
it's difficult to lift the trouser leg when there's a need to pee
But elasticity of the panty hose means
top of shorts are quickly lowered so now willy's running free
Footnote: perhaps I am showing my age here talking about panty hose . For those unaware
they are female attire, a form of stockings and jox or jocks maybe an Australian colloquial term for mens underwear
he was hanging from the charcoal rafters
doing push-ups thinking cap dangling loosely
by his side like a detached trouser stripe
time for emotions and mindful assonance
for when reason fails feelings surpass
the limbo of a lost soul yet to be found
I'm hoping to be teacher's pet
By reciting my alphabet
My teacher said to me,
"Jimmy you missed out P"
I'm crying and very upset!
My teacher, her name is Miss Clegg
Said Jimmy, "Tell me, I won't beg"
Where is the missing P
I said, "Miss, can't you see
It's running down my trouser leg!"
I think I’ll stomp on you
Crush you, you worthless weed
Fools include you in a bouquet
Recipients look the other way
Oh, drat, my trouser cuff is yellow
The launderess will bellow
Greasy stains take time to fade
~ Reputations rarely remade
We are all like-men
one leg at a time
yet some stand out
trouser-ed or not
some become possessed
a holy mission accepted
subduing the personal ego
as did Christ, Son of God
First Risen
these are blessed children
of the Sacred Divine
Some saviors born.
Some developed by
trial and error experience~
like an artist's film
or a botanist's rare
orchid --
Some, not of the soil
nor lab, tempered like steel
of unearthly fire
Trump, a force for good
that evil will be compelled to
continually oppose
We encircle his lead
fellow conscripts of Heaven's
saintly unbridled army
pray for his continued divine
protection.... "In God We Trust"
as well as on our coins
engraved upon the soul of
Freedom Loving Men and women
the world over....
the press of the crowd
reset trouser creases
glad-handing, back slaps
he almost kissed a baby!
compared to a county fair
guernsey cows, who cares…
cloth diapers attack the nose
NYC’s homeless, anything goes
The brooms march in,
The brooms march out,
All the leaves floating about!
My troop of brooms,
Keeps the leaves at bay,
Hope to keep them outside today!
Tracked holding on to the dogs' side,
Clutching my trouser leg,
There are even some in my bed!
Leaves crinkle under my feet,
My brooms are losing the battle,
Back up maps to save the floor!
They are color coded for each door,
Still, as I wander about,
My brooms lean uselessly against the tide!
My army is not yet overcome,
The brooms are still,
Number one!
Stop to shop on my posh Shop
Please make a quick stop
to visit my posh shop.
Walk in ! Be free to shop !
My variety store
containing seven floors.
Welcome ! Choose and explore.
Hunt dress as your treasure
Sale of Top, Skirt and Trouser.
Buy ! To sell : My pleasure.
Get flavour, nice nascent
strong and mild, both descent
Arrived Perfumes and Scent.
Take posy of flowers.
Warm feelings to shower.
Good wishes to embower.
Drink strong wine, or whisky
Go drowsy or tipsy.
though a bit risky.
This is emporium.
Buy aquarium,
also terrarium.
Perfect place to bring
lover, to choose ring
for coming wedding !
Payment never to count !
Fifty percent Discount.
Profit on your account.
now,
(my) collection of poems
library
on the bookshelf
coming out
in backpack bag
at the coffee shop
into back trouser pocket,
I'm going to meet you.
The bunny came and hid the eggs
since he’s mammal the question begs
where did they come from?
did he buy lump sum?
wonder what he’d do with frog legs?
What’s with the chicks following him?
maybe they’re there on a wild whim
difference in age?
large, I’d wage
but I am not a judge of them.
Then there is the most obvious question
if Easter Bunny is male, concession,
how could he lay an egg
down his long trouser leg?
I think I need a therapy session.
Modern man has less dexterity.
I think I know one reason why,
The replacement of the button
With the zippered trouser fly.
It took some finger manipulation
To keep each button firmly seated
Just a brief tug of the zipper and
The manoeuvre’s now completed.
No exercise of the fingers or
Checks on leaving the loo
Just to ensure that no button
Was fastened slightly askew.
Modern man can have confidence
Nothing untoward is left on show
Just one pull of the fastener and
He’s concealed and ready to go.
But, has he paid a prince by not
Having to stop and linger
To correctly place each button
And thus exercise each finger.
It didn’t burn many calories
Maybe not even a couple
But it required coordination
And it kept the fingers supple.
A lost trouser button could
Very easily be sewn back on
A broken zipper means use of
Garment at least temporarily gone.
Yes, there was a lot to be said
For the buttoned trouser fly.
I suppose I’m just a relic
From times long gone by
When the world was less hasty
Without this modern daily stress
And a man had the time just
To pause and check his dress.
Across the sideways, bronze framed hall mirror,
A ribbon of infrared light imprinted itself,
Like a streak of alien sky;
Hours later, it dimmed and blew out, like an ill-furnished house.
Other reflections crawled across like tarantulas...
Somebody's corduroy acorn brown trouser legs and spotless tapshoes;
Somebody's long-lashed, hazel-ringletted doll; it was wearing a lacy, tulip-embroidered smock with frilled edges, and it was napping in a nook.
One day, somebody slipped-up; their teacup, which had a watercolour lily design, ended-up on the mirror:
The owner of reflections fragmented,
Until it was nothing but a set of chess pieces, cluttering a dustpan.
A crescent of sun splintered the window, targeting the shards in the can like yellow rose hued rainbows.
Not even a turban ,rob he have , oh lord! I don't know from where he came,
A torn out towel and trouser he wear, no shoes in legs,he is a lame ,
At the gate there is a brahmin, see the Dwarika empire and exclaim,
And ask for thy address, oh lord, and say Sudama is his name .
How much torn thy feet from thorns, thousand of prickles I can see,
Where thee have been all this time? How's thy family and how are thee?
By seeing Sudama's sick state , cried the lord out of pain ,
He didn't touch the trough water , washed pal's feet with tears rain !
You can’t hold your breath and say see you later
So as they got out they stayed silent
When I let one loose in the elevator
And it was both silent and violent
The chocolates are melting, the flowers are wilting
From my trouser pockets there’s steam
And that’s why I prayed that the lady who’d stayed
Was always that odd shade of green
1 August 2021
Contest: When I Let One Loose In The Elevator
Sponsor: Charles Messina
THE SERGEANT MAJOR
I'll always remember Granpa Shreeve
No collar,braces and rolled up sleeves,
Leather buckled trouser belt;
Number forty-six with Gran he dwelt.
A curled up moustache,
His manner stiff and harsh;
Horse artillery in a younger day
A shilling a day his rate of pay.
His hens roamed at the end of the patch
Each day free to root and scratch;
Collecting eggs from his homemade coop
His aging back acquired a stoop.
Fresh,brown and range free
Daily for breakfast or tea;
He killed a chicken as a special treat,
Plucking now a forgotten feat.
A waist-coated old stager
Known to all as the Sargeant Major;
Old fashioned,a bit of a tartar-
Made my Gran a domestic martyr.
repost fro m Year Posted 2007
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