the barefoot bard Poet Rhyme

Notes About The Poem

Why I wear Panty Hose

The reader of this title
probably thinks I'm on a bender
It's all about some comfort
I've not abandoned my male gender

For some years now leather belts
are causing pain around the hips 
Now I get a pair of panty hose
and cut it into strips

The way I live my life 
is far removed from orthodox
The strips hold up my shorts alone
many years since I adorned myself in jox

So men now take yourself into a lingerie boutique
get some panty hose to make a stretchy belt
Wrap it round your belly
so  much comfort never felt

Sometimes when wearing zipless tighter shorts 
it's difficult to lift the trouser leg when there's a need to pee
But elasticity of the panty hose means
 top of shorts are quickly lowered so now  willy's running free


Footnote: perhaps I am showing my age here talking about panty hose . For those unaware 
they are female attire, a form of stockings and jox or jocks maybe an Australian colloquial term for mens underwear

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Natasha L Scragg March 19, 2026 at 3:55 AM Lol... my grandad told me that his dad told him to wear tights (pantyhose) when motorcycling. Not only would it help to keep him warm but it was another layer of protection in case of an accident. He was in his late teens at the time of getting this advise and found it strange. Lol. So your idea in this poem is very practical and not as crazy sounding as you think it might be ;) the barefoot bard March 27, 2026 at 2:02 PM Hi Natasha Apologies for the late response Great to hear a different perspective Blessings Douglas

Jan Allison February 28, 2026 at 4:39 PM I'm howling with laughter here on so many levels Douglas! hugs jan xx Jan Allison March 1, 2026 at 1:17 AM i would have been honoured if you'd used my name lol xx the barefoot bard February 28, 2026 at 6:23 PM hi Jan I did have an ending which included your christian name but thought it might invade you privacy . It's now slipped my mind. xx the barefoot bard February 28, 2026 at 5:50 PM Good day Would have loved to be in person to share your laughter. Had a lot of that when i read to group of eight this morning Blessings Douglas xx