Toot Poems - Poems about Toot

Can't believe I'm penning this mess, but I must address the gifted poetess, Jan Allison has a degree from the distinguished Poot-Toot University, she has a PhD in Fartology. An expert she is, and, gee whiz, anyone who writes of farts so funnily, is the "Queen of Flatulence," a PoetrySoup decree! And yes, I know some are offended by potty humor, but we need comic relief in the literary...

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The ogre was irritated with the woman with the locket She had accidentally run off with his boot in her pocket He stumbled upon it a few months later in the woods. It had been created into a darling house, where it stood. He did not have the heart to take it back, for he was soft. There were several...

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Laughter Laughter knocks on the doors of tragedy selling snake oil. Its remedy has no cure, but the symptoms from consuming its liqueur are delightful. There are all sorts of laughter. My favorites are the giggle, a subtle and private revelation of jiggling jello, and the barrel roll that takes over everything like a stampede of elephants from a circus. Whichever laughter...

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He can’t see enough of his name in print Seems public notice feeds his narcissism, It’s a shame nobody has given him a hint He feeds on our country’s raw cynicism. Time will come when surely he must realize An insufferable bore he’s turning out to be, He’s not so great as in his very own eyes More and more folks are...

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If you look for ugly You'll See it If you stare too long You'll be it When we Speak without thinking to tickle the ear There is something to ponder So as to see clear When we talk Just to disrepute A manslayer We become Killing a reputation It is mean spirited fun Just imagine should The tables turn And you be the one on the block being happily sliced and Diced about After...

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I walked deep into the wilderness In hopes to get my find I was looking for some solitude And a little peace of mind Then I came across a silhouette Of an owl in the moon Right then and there I knew that I Would find my peace real soon I took out my harmonica...

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Tom Trumpeteer has the rhythm in his ear I wonder, can you guess what’s protruding from his rear It looks just like a trumpet and when he’s eaten beans He toots a toot with every step, at least that’s how it seems He went to the ballroom, the orchestra were late Someone asked the kitchen staff for baked beans...

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Back from lunch ate a chili dog full of onions drank some warm orange juice should’ve waited later; ~ Cause my rumbling tummy gotto, gut tossN and churning, when I let one loose in the elevator; 8/2/21 ~2021© When I Let One Loose In The Elevator Poetry Contest Sponsored by: charles messina ...

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God's zombies just formed an hit squad For poets whose work is slipshod "If people don't die Then angels can't fly!" If "truth" is proof, my thoughts are flawed!...

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Little ghosts were sitting on a limb. They were named Big Mac, Ugly Toot and Tim. One spit out a head. It was my friend Ted. Now I am truly terrified of them....

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If you had a colon like one eyed Toot You would be lifting and yelling “oh, shoot!” A raunchy old chair Foul smell in the air With each step you take, expelling a toot If you had a colon like freckled Joe At parties we’d all know where not to go Your unique perfume Clouding up living room Your rear end sending out a...

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What was that sound I just heard Sounds like a tweet from a tiny bird From my lower back area The region of hysteria Twas wayward toot that just occured...

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Little Jack Marty He was a smarty Sitting in his second grade online class He developed an urge to pass some gas When it came out of Little Marty’s shell It had that pumping smell Hearing the tiger roar as it ripped out the young boy’s door Watching his computer screen he saw Abigail studying...

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There was this entrée; they called it bean soup My pet tasted some, then let out a whoop -- Doggone it, I exhaled As Fido wagged his tail -- While I removed all his stench from the stoop......

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There's nothing like a pressured toot to get you out of bed. The moving sheets, the rustled beat; of flatulance ahead. That very sign that life goes on despite the time you have. Where waiting on the sun to shine might mean a death through calve. And hope is an illusion of a sleep that's pulled you in. When your luck means live or die to...

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