sent forth from Church's
in America
to medicate Jesus Christs Sins
Buyor's or Sellor's of Contemptuous
Days, a pawn, a brillo saint
from vaccinations conundrum
Persevered by rogues of sugar
cubes
Exacerbated with thought
by the subtraction of calculation
a frustrating calibration
Tongues twisting and turning
Computing images of relations
extracting time and patience
withdrawing from allegations
telemarketing frustrations
With calls of aggravation
Irritating the mind,
Hanging Up
" a light tongue twister lol"
I don't need vinyl siding or great long distance rates.
I don't need health insurance or trips to distant states.
I don't need what you're selling, so please get off my phone.
All I want is peace and quiet; now, leave me alone.
(chorus)
Don't call here again, Don't call here again,
All I want is peace and quiet; don't call here again.
Don't call here again; don't call here again;
All I want is peace and quiet; don't call here again!
You have interrupted dinner or other plans we've made.
If I could reach right through this phone I'd hit you with a spade.
You've stated lots of "fine print" for me to shovel through.
Now listen close 'cause here's my plan: don't call me, I'll call you!
(chorus)
Sing verse to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas"; sing chorus to the chorus of "Bringing in the Sheaves"
A day when everything goes your way
I must be doing something wrong
when you do everything on your checklist
Haven't I forgotten something?
when all those checks arrive in the mail
How many will bounce?
when your wife listens to you and says you're right
Are you sure you're feeling well, dear?
when your teenagers clean up their rooms voluntarily
Go ahead and treat yourself to some recreational marijuana, guys
when your boss gives you an unscheduled raise
Uh-oh. What miracle does he want out of me now?...
when you get in the swiftest check-out line in the supermarket
when you make every green light on your commute to and from work
when you win Powerball AND Little Lotto
when you get zero telemarketing calls
when this dream ends with
a wet, sloppy kiss from
your loyal, trusty dog...
The phone rings;
It's Evariste Galois.
The phone rings;
It's Budapest on ice.
The phone rings;
It's my grandmother,
long dead.
The phone rings.
I refuse to answer.
What's if it's the Grim Reaper?
It keeps ringing.
Maybe it's Publisher's Clearinghouse
Informing me that I won
the sweepstakes.
I don't care.
I just don't care
Most likely
It's telemarketing,
And I'm in no mood
For that on any other scam
On this
Steep-pitched Monday.
I used to telemarket
Met a lot of would be actors and actresses there
The work was onerous
not as onerous as some jobs
Now I work at ESL and write verse
and articles
I plan to see the Brooklyn Cyclones play soon
As for tea
I take mine green
I take mine
I take
I
Look at those leper thieves in the temple,
crooked preachers taking their crouching cut
Spotted souls standing at the pulpit,
spewing false doctrines of idol prosperity
Blind guides for the carnal-minded simple,
scaly bellies full of paper worms from the flesh glut
Iscariot eyes ... silver coins culprits
Clouds without water, empty wells of charity
Partakers of the beheading and crucifixion,
trading places with a devilish grin
Sons of Herod and Pilate
wearing ceremonial cloaks of iniquity
Leopard paw jaws speaking carcass perdition,
shedding innocent blood is a kill sin
Holy laws they love to violate,
lusting to rule with wanton authority
Smell the greedy dogs who can’t get enough,
wicked moneychangers vomiting on the feast table
Balaam eyes receiving their Judas sop,
carry that holey money bag bound tight to their hip
Robed impostors living on an identity bluff,
telemarketing bazaar salvation purchased on cable
Selling good luck incense 6 dollars a pop,
as their alm lips got a closed grip on the money clip
Phone call after phone call
Sometimes begging for a sale
The man simply could not stay away from drugs
Gone now to the other side
After enjoying many`` highs
I continued to work there
Made plenty of sales
But eventually quit
Once a couple of us tried to unionize the place
We didn't do it
Death of a telephone salesman
Happens all too soon
In the field of telemarketing
Often too soon
Radios blaring, televisions drumming on and on and on
The faucet drips, the dishwasher hums
A soft blowing sound from the air conditioner
The refrigerator dropping ice..then filling with water
Ticking clocks on the bed stands
The ringing of the phone from some telemarketing service
My own voice droning on the answering machine after the irritating beep
Swirling swooshes of ceiling fans
Another tire hitting the storm drain on the road behind my home
The roar of a lawnmower…followed by a trimmer…then a blower
Birds chattering in the many trees in my yard, some chirping, some whistling
A neighbor’s dog barking at the children out front, yelling mixed with laughter
My thoughts invaded with uninvited sounds
Dozens of intruders flying through my ears
I sometimes long for just a moment
When the air isn’t filled with all these noises