JILL WILL
Jill was fat and could eat no lean
Her husband Jack, was opposite
In the sea, she could float
And once capsized a boat
So was told just slim down a bit
She also had a kid named Jack
And Jill was a cook and a mum
But sometimes was worried
When meals were hurried
Fearing he’d choke on a plum
Jill carried some extra weight
And unlike Jack, she was slow
She wasn’t that quick
Often missing a trick
He was much nimbler, you know
One time, they went up the hill
Together, but at a slow pace
She stumbled and fell
It really hurt like hell
And got mud all over her face
But at least Jill was also famous
Both featured in nursery rhymes
Slightly fatter than him
But was pictured as slim
As is the fashion in these times
The Sober Seraph
I had been to my doctor is always a female I have no choice
Said I was too heavy – her words- I had to slim down a bit
Skipped lunch had soup in a café where everyone sat
Starring at their I-Phones and didn`t see what I saw and angel
Stopping a man from going into a bar
I could see they were arguing the man took a step backwards
The angel won the argument and disappeared, the man
Came into the café and drank orange juice, his mien was dark,
But then lightened up he was safe…for now
He is one of the unfortunate for whom a glass of wine is one
Too many and a bottle is not enough if he listen to what his
The angle says, the inner voice of love, he should be safe.
Big Politician
Chris Christie
Not known to be nifty
Warned New Jersey National Guard Brig. Gen. Michael Cunniff to slim down.
This from such a big clown.
Once in the ghost town they called rotgut
Seen mortician dancing dead mans strut
Six shooter brought Slim down
Black smith hurried left town
Guess hang by boots then when in a rut
Entry For Jerry's
A Town Called Rotgut
GL All
Trim Mr. Claus
Trim Mr. Claus the headlines all read
Trim Mr. Claus the doctors all said
Trim Mr. Claus or he’ll end up dead
That fat guy has got to slim down
Trim Mr. Claus what’s that all about
Trim Mr. Claus he’s diabetic no doubt
Trim Mr. Claus he probably has gout
That fat guy has got to slim down
Trim Mr. Claus and cut off that beard
Trim Mr. Claus that’s the part children feared
Trim Mr. Claus the critics all jeered
That fat guy has got to slim down
And now that the country has all gone PC
No one gets away with living life free
Everyone answers to the powers that bee
That fat guy has got to slim down
Mdailey
FLOWERS' SECRET DESIRES
Buttercups want to slim down their cholestrol with a diet
To become low-low cups, they wanna try it
Sunflowers want to stop turning after the sun
And feel free to look away from time to time, just for fun
Forget-me-nots try desperately to remember
My name as I pass them by in September
Foxgloves itch to fit onto some fox finger,
Hold some fox thumb, and on some fox hand linger
Red hot pokers wish they could cool down in style
And get out of the fire once in a while
Indian paintbrushes want to be known as firstnation paintbrushes,
Aboriginal paintbrushes, or native American paintbrushes.
Rocky, Rocky
Longed to be a jockey,
But poor Rocky,
Was far too stocky,
More muscles than the horse,
Eliminated him of course,
He tried to slim down,
To win the Derby Crown,
But failed at this,
And was destined to miss,
The goal he sought so bad,
He watched from Kentucky Downs,
With naught but frowns,
And angered that,
Those little clowns,
Had the job he did covet
And they did not love it,
For each of them, it seems,
Wanted to be a muscleman,
That was their fondest dreams.
Once upon a time,
There were three Little- Bigs
(They were short, but fat.)
They knew the hungry wolf
Would like to pick them up,
And maybe score some ham,
So the three Little-Bigs,
All went to different places,
To slim down their
Porky butts...
The first Little-Big went
To "Gold's Gym"
Figuring diet and fighting skills
Would keep the wolf at bay...
But the wolf was a Black-Belt,
And had his Pork and Beans...
The second Little-Big,
Searched for better means...
So he got a bullet-proof vest,
But Mr. Wolf did not need a gun,
He bite off that Little-Big's head,
He thought it was great fun!
Our last Little-Biggie,
Bought himself a knife,
When Mr Wolf approached,
He took the Wolf's evil life...
So if you have to fend off a wolf,
Keep your wits real sharp,
Use your shiv on his neck,
And cover his body with a tarp
I go to the gym twice a week in a bid to lose my tum,
try and get some muscles and perhaps slim down my bum
all are a big incentive, though another one for me
are the complex mix of people that at the gym you see
The twenty something bicep boy, a proper alpha male
who couldn't be more monkey like, if he had a tail
the pretty, perfect model, who glows but never sweats
quick to say she's healthy but at mealtimes just forgets
the group of golden oldies who jog along in pairs
trying to outrun their peers who're wheeled around in chairs
the larger than life contenders who'd rather really snack
they sweat and blow and get so red they risk a heart attack
amid all these characters there's little normal me
an almost thirty Mum of two, what you get is what you see
Many types of people all with a common goal
be happy, fit and healthy, improvements body and soul
and so I keep my appointment as fitness I do seek
I get so much entertainment here It lasts me for a week!!!
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