Short Weight Loss Poems

there's too many pills
even a pill for weight loss
pills will always sell...

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Deflated my butt

Lost too much weight way too fast

Where do I sit now...

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Best way to stop being a large dork
       Put that utensil down, named your fork!

                   
                    5/16/2021...

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Shadorma (slimming) 

Low fat cheese
Tastes like rubber soles
For weight loss
I eat it
Abusing my true taste buds
 And I am still fat...

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Since beginning my weight loss routine
My joy for eating's increased by umpteen
Could eat a horse
But refrain of course
Trust me, I'm like a damn eating machine...

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A graceful young lady named Kate
would shimmy and leap and gyrate.
Her copious whirling,
maniacal twirling
caused Kate to shed half of her weight....

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Hit a plateau in my weight loss endeavor
Must stay focused, easy to give it up forever
My goal is in sight
Takes all my might
To ignore this minor glitch in the weather...

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Weight loss is about more than eating less
It's about how you handle daily stress
  Do you pause stress with food
  You really never should
For if you do, more flesh you will soon press...

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Read last year's diary
Ridiculous targets.
Regime for dieting
Recipes for weight loss
Resounding disaster 
Reach for more chocolate!
Rip up aims for next year
Realise they're futile!...

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If your aim is to lose extra weight
and escape from what seems like your fate,
take this piece of advice
(the advice is concise):
put your food on a minuscule plate....

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Saw a friend yesterday, hadn't seen for a year
Marveled at my weight loss, grinned from ear to ear
What was my secret he wanted to know
Told him I eat less, it's easier as you go
Proud that he noticed, so worth it that's clear...

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Look a little younger every day
Aim to keep your heart strong in this way  
Undo the effects of punishing stress 
Guarantee a weight loss, more or less  
Help yourself to nights of restful sleep  
Take in more oxygen, breathe it in deep
Ever wanted happiness just like mine   
Read the first letter of every line...

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Within without inside out screaming
The pain is unbearable you beasty twit
If you would just lose a leg or an arm

Crippled down bunched up dreaming
Your back is like a rack of ribs on a spit
Shut off this awful belly juggling alarm

Turn up turn out cantankerous filled brain
Take a damn load off before you faint...

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Around my hips, too much weight
    In place of a stomach, I've a spare tire
  My face is pudgy, slightly bloated
    Dark forces against me conspire ... 

  But I've reversed course, I'm shedding pounds
    Part of me's now in the Lost & Found
  Though I'm not quite ready to celebrate
    when I still tip the scales at 288!...

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TAKING OFF THE FAT

--At 185 Pounds--
Weight loss
Exhausts


--Nutritionist's Guide--
Fastfood
No good


--Doctor's Advice--
Workout
No doubt


--Monk's Prescription--
Yoga 
Goodah


--Support Group's Slogan--
Let's quit
Do it


--My Choice--
Did try
Goodbye



Contest: March Of The Footle 
Dated  Mar 7 2016...

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Before and after 
May show a positive difference
Like a weight loss program
That deceives and soothes people's eyes
But never time and aging
Time comes and goes
Aging lingers and deteriorates
And both of them leave or linger
Without any concrete reasons 
And of course
Without your permission 
And of course 
Without the control of man...

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you've got religion on your breath
and existentialism hanging in your closet
politically correct
cannabis vapor
give me purple diesel
or give me death star
some mental exercises
for longer life
and longer eyelashes
taste another green world
vegan parmesan cheese
saved by zen medicine
and rapid weight loss
philosophy isn't books, honey
it's a skin care offer...

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here I am 
i'm pissed again

let others control my emotions
once more

damnit

be the bigger person
but i just joined a weight loss program

be the grown up, girlfriend
just another test

oh ya thanks
thanks a bunch 
for another test

hug a tree
bite your tongue
zip your lip
spill your milk
just don't be a witch
for the lack of a more suitable word...

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Let me spin a yarn, reality,
Failing the weight loss industry
No binge eating any more,
Comfort food had left the store,
NO COOKIES!, so hard,
Lettuce leaves by the yard,
Must stop pretending, I say,
Hobbit's second breakfasts, okay.
Time to accept, destress, funny,
Now home for raisin toast and tea,
Hot and sweet, fat like me,
Yes, failed weight loss totally!...

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Thirty pounds in sixty days
That how much less Jeffrey weighs
Burning all those calories
Should have slowed the global freeze
Missy’s joined the weight loss scene
She is looking fit and lean
We can press, continue on
All the cheesecake bites are gone
Shadows of our former selves
Someone slap those Keebler elves
Got another ten to go
Someone hide the cookie dough...

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I was in a hurry
To weight only forty
Had no time for a drawn
out diet
So decided I would try it
Bought a sickle
Carved off my flesh
It didn't tickle,
But the blood was fresh

Got on the scale,
With my dying breath
Couldn't read the weight
Too much blood
And it was now too late

I probably weighted but twenty
A skeleton was I
Exceeded my desired weight loss
But for this I had to die....

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Snuggle
Cuddly, sneezy, sleepy, tiring
Daughter of the seventies
Lover of chocolate, coca cola, and cheddar cheese
Who feels old, tired and useless
Who fears grey hair, wrinkles and flab
Who would like to see(but not likely in this life...)weight loss, peace and love, and regularity
Resident of Coolsville-USA
Bunny




I hope this made you all smile^u^
                                         U...

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the first week 
     is absolute hell ...
          "gym rust"
                an enemy  
                     one must doggedly...

battle and 
     conquer;
          challenging, 
               no doubt, 
                    but a fight... 

worth fighting.
     with consistency 
           one starts to see results 
                if... 
                     weight loss is top goal.

          (yalto)
...

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Hunger Warning 

Family and friends are first to go
Then the teeth and hair
Weight loss due to hunger
Is guaranteed
Begging for food is against the law
In most communities
Hunger is not a crime but should be
I’m looking for my other shoe
Something delectable to chew on
If you have it bring it back
I licked it in the morning
Who knows what you might contract
From someone as low as me
Return it please and let me starve in peace...

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Glanced in the mirror 
Didn't like what I saw
All of that junk food I bought
Packing on the pounds
Now I just look round
Gotta start eating right
Gotta start running every night
I'm so out of shape
Gotta do what it takes
Double chin on my face
Can anyone relate
Ice cream and cookies
Rolls and muffin top
I'll never get any nookie
I did this to myself
I now realize I need help
Gotta get up off my ass
And join a weight loss class...

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