Short Toilets Poems

Toilets overflow
In Large Intestine, Texas
Don't breathe in outhouse...

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Some toilets are black and white
Like an orca full of might

And when I do sit
My mind wants to quit

Cause I can’t stop feeling fright!...

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Eat
rice and
beans each day-
sleep upon the
floor-
bathe
from a
bucket where
long drop toilets
smell-
live
with Aids
and carry
water from a
well...

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The homeless shout out senseless vowels
Whilst seniors suffer from loose bowels
Public toilets are closed
Just because its supposed
Someone might infect absent towels?...

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Denise was in love with a rich plumber
She'd fallen hard for his big black Hummer
   Though he was a grunge
   Denise took the plunge
Honeymoon fixing toilets ~ a bummer!...

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Heard that fish would love to pee
Their fins are crossed in an ardent plea
Eyes go sideways
Swim as they pray
But only old cods know where the toilets are at sea...

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The greatest invention since sliced bread
We've invented many things as onward we tread
Like flush toilets
And shoe eyelets
Meatballs with mashers hope I don't wake up dead...

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Metal thou art not,
Ye alchemists’ Majestic Aluminium
Thou regal geometric shape with equillibrium
Siphoning H2O to the nether world,
Making us not to rot,
Metal thou art not.
[ Bodna: Water container used in toilets]...

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Scanning the headlines I had no idea
the slideshow proved it was porcelain clear
after we all flush
we should hug and gush 
appreciating our toilets both far and near.



Just found out its World Toilet Day!
11-19-17...

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The sign outside the public washroom read “Toilets”
Uh, I'm afraid that should have read “Toidies” instead
How childish is that
And loopy I might add
The funnest days were from three to the many days ahead...

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Here's a strange sign, causing quite a sensation
“Police Toilets Stolen... they have nothing to go on”
Motto said nothing could stump em
Guest some things are beyond them
Now what will they do, pee on the autobahn?...

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Here's a strange sign, causing quite a sensation
“Police Toilets Stolen... they have nothing to go on”
Motto said nothing could stump em
Guest some things are beyond them
Now what will they do, maybe pee on the autobahn?...

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Here's a strange sign, causing quite a sensation
“Police Toilets Stolen... they have nothing to go on”
Motto said nothing could stump em
Guest some things are beyond them
Now what will they do, maybe pee on the autobahn?...

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Im from over there
Im from him 
Im from her
Im from that thing there
I like to linger – especially under your nose
I like to hide in mouths, in clothes, in beds, in bathrooms, in kitchens in toilets
I come from nowhere, travelling by wind...

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love's aftertaste
from the centrifuge
of flushed toilets
marking it's spiraling descent
from the Perseids of highest heaven
to Davy Jones' locker
one can survive such an excursion
but some do not

we should meet again in a tiger's dream....

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One Thousand Toilet Faces…..By Peter Onyancha
(The dichotomy of my country)

One thousand people sharing one toilet
Save the people! Just one more.
One thousand toilets sharing one person
Save the toilet? Just one more.
The toilet or the person
just one more!...

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I am the lonesome janitor
   Who keeps these toilets clean.
   So graffiti is not scribbled on my walls
   Not even by our Queen.
   Nor also for your self esteem
   You maybe think outranks me.
   There's no exception to this rule
    Unless your name is Banksy.

   10/ 20/ 2016....

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I will be your guinea pig I say.
What can I do for you today?
Wash the toilets? Clean the floor?
Paint that wall? Refinish your door?

I have arrived to work in a merry way.
Ready to have an absolutely fine Monday.
Just do any extra lunch duty, okay?
I wish I was back in home in every way....

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When Sunday dinner is through
There’s something you must not do
Don’t flush Yorkshire Pudding
It could cause bad flooding
In toilets - wee paper or pooh!

Inspired by story on Sky News - you know me guys I just couldn't turn down the opportunity to do a limerick!

2/24/19...

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When we get to Heaven there is no need,
for toilets- as from bodies we are freed;
and will be spirits hazy,
flying on wings like crazy - 
after a few cloud crashes gaining speed !

______________________
October 24, 2021

Written for the contest, The Throne in Heaven
sponsor, Jack Webster...

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Whilst watching Star Trek with Captain Picard
They were fighting cyborgs in their universe marred
The Borg fly their cube spaceships  and look to destroy
Federation Starships that against them deploy
One thing that puzzles me with the Borg
Do they have toilets especially designed for cyborgs? 

© Paul Warren Poetry...

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Dream Home

I do not dream of a mansion
Not fifty bedrooms
Not with baths and toilets en-suite; 
I do not desire a Jacuzzi in every room
Not a penthouse for ‘Yours Truly’ and
A playroom for even the pet dog.
All I ask for is, a house to ‘house’ my HOME, and, welcoming smiles on faces all around me - after a hard day’s job....

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My best cyber friend
comes from the Mother Land
She's clever and Smart 
Of genuine heart
Can you really guess who
Once wrote from the loo?

---------------------------------------

Loo became the name for toilets 
because they were all located in 
Building #100 and they confused 
the number 1 with the alphabet 
Letter  L - hence loo...

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Malawians are feeling the pain 
Interest rates at banks jigged to 40%. 
Cost of living demands a lot to survive 
Our salary tranquil 
Robbers terrorizing us 
Wives spending time at water holes
 Instead of caring families
Subsidy is sand 
Instead of fertilizer
Pay in toilets charging exorbitantly
Just for a visit.
These are worthy going on streets...

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Fred’s internet date looked so hot
A woman - she surely was not
Fred’s poor brain had to grapple
‘she’s’ got an Adams’ apple
In toilets did she stand or squat?

Fred’s blind date she needed the loo
The ladies loo had a long queue
It came as no surprise
‘She’ went into the guys
And out of the front door Fred flew!

3/25/19...

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