Short Toaster Poems

you don't butt
er up before
putting
a slice
of bread
in the slot

you do that
after the
some
thing
pops 
up...

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poppy mania
inspired my kitchen
I ordered a red stove
toaster, crock pot and salt and pepper shakers
gorgeous result...

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this is the story of dowd

famished though inside a cloud

yearned for a toaster

found him a poster

sorry no dining allowed.
...

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albino
bread
catches
tanning
rays

gentle
warmth
embraces

hot
hotter
besieging
heat

smoke
pollutes
kitchen
air

vitality
incinerated
no
bread
only
char...

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Thor, chief of thunder, so grand, 
Tried to fix a small toaster by hand. 
With Mjolnir's great might, 
He blew out the light, 
"This 'appliance'," he boomed, "I don't understand!"

©bfa031625

...

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One should never put socks in the toaster
The smoke will billow out and be quite a choker
And the smell... ouweee
Stinky poo... you'll see
Save yourself, run outside and suck in fresh air-ster...

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the toaster and oven  beep at me 
when they want attention 
my phone beeps at me
my car beeps at me 
my watch beeps at me 
my door bell now beeps at me
what is happening 
in this beeping 
technological world....

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Coffee maker, 
Toaster, blender,
Dish rack: black. 
Peplum suit, black 
Suede shoes at
Fifties' wedding, 

Black lace nightie
For nuptial bedding,
Closet full of midnight 
Dresses. Why does 
She love black? is  

Anybody's guesses....

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Trump Can Never Use

Trump can never use,
Any household appliance;
Turn off a faucet.

Trump has people taking care
of everything for him. 

Butter piece of toast;
Put bread into a toaster,
Or scrape off dark part.

Jim Horn...

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You’re wasting all my fertility years
She said
With genuine anger.
Dave said
Nothing.
He sloped away and put a single slice of rye bread in the toaster
Popped a hard-boiled egg in his mouth
And thought about his robust spermatozoa....

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Wendy Horder's life took a blight
As sometime God does not get it right
At least Down Under
With awesome thunder*
God soothes their soul with Vegemite 

*( At least I thought it was thunder, but it
may have been Wendy's old toaster?)...

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Bid on My Love – Sold Out


My heart is now on a wanted poster
having escaped twisted passions toaster

Now, in reflection, I’m forced to confess
each moment together – painfully priceless.


12/8/2015

submitted to – Bid on My Love – Poetry contest
sponsor – Tammy Reams...

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Woke up, fell out of bed
Filled the toaster with some bread
Went downstairs and drank some coke
Looking at the calendar date
Restrictions are not lifted so that is that
Even more seconds in my flat
Made my way upstairs and tightly tied a rope
Nobody spoke and I went without a scream...

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Toaster Bed
I’d like to buy a toaster bed,
of the boldest red.
 
Happily,
it would heat me up toasty hot
and butter my backside,
before projecting me out
of the bed and into the shower,
at a designated hour
each morning.
 
Where shall I place my order?
Bloomingdale’s
Or Neiman’s?...

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Lasagna noodles on my forehead
A washcloth in the pot
Oh dear, oh my, what am I doing?
I think I completely forgot
It’s dinner time for all the kiddies
And I put the toaster in the sink
I’m losing it, my mind is warped
I’m edging to the brink
Maybe I should stop to breathe
Uh oh, I forgot, again, just how
Alright already, I give in
I’m gonna order out...

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A toaster can be shocking
and it just might take your life.

You might someday poke yourself
with spoon or fork or knife.

Tripping on a stairway,
could also end your days,

to count the chance to leave this world,
there are so many ways.

But worry not the little things
or what your mind pretends;

the first thing on your mind all day,
should not be how it ends....

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I've passed the disenchanted one, in the empty hallway
I've heard the isolated girl, arguing in the mirror
I've seen the angry hermit girl reflected in the toaster
I've noticed the crazy girl, crying in the shower
I've enjoyed the whispers of the poet talking to herself
Her latest performance had the largest audience yet
the flowers were captivated but the cat left unimpressed...

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Not a good day, I want to fly away, 
Disapear into dispair, dying from lying,
I'll just go ding, like an old toaster thing,
It toasts bread, and never goes to bed,
Awake through the pain and strains,
Crying tears of fears,
Not beliving all of the dealings of drugs,
That is untill I got mugged,
Cought in a frought, not one way out,
I turn insideout,
Burning and yearning for hope,
But "no" said the pope....

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I live for 
Peanut butter and cheese sandwiches.
Toasted in my toaster...usually when my world is in slumber
None to to judge me.
No butter...decadent enough .
I slather the caramel coloured concoction
On  warm bread...to the edges.
slapping on a slab of cheese
I watch as the heat melts and weds it to the bread.
Then I settle in to enjoy the moment.
It is then I realize...I live for the moment....

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overhead
                a plane
circles
leaves 
             tap
              the window
the central
heating
                  lights
the 
kettle
           boils
       my  toaster
flicks
up
      breakfast
      nearby
microwave
                drones
ring-tone
                 phones
the doorbell
chimes
               post
drops
on
          the mat
inspired by WCW's poem 
'Sunday'...

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It was a good morning until I burned
My toast in the toaster, I turned
It was up to high
I just wanted to give my new toaster a try
It was a good morning until I drop
My phone and cause my sim card to pop
The front face was crack
My phone was also hack
It was a good morning until I lost my keys
I had to look everywhere, down on my knees
I wasn’t please
Because my morning was a tease

FEBRUARY 12, 2021...

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Take bread out for the toaster
Only to return it to the bag
Looking for a lost item 
To find it under your nose
Put on shoes in a hurry
Notice one shoe different
Things happen from lack 
of sleep 

That when things go wrong
When awaking up early
We need our strong cup
of strong expresso 
In order to begin our day 
One or two cups will do 
To begin our early day
To do things we do that
won't go wrong...

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THE   BOHEMIAN   LIFE


Mess of  last night’s dishes not washed up
Saucer  with a   mis-matched cup
Caged  kitchen hamster gnaws    
Cornflake-box  on his roof over paws
Window sill  crowded with green plants
Radiator drying washed pants
Toaster doesn’t work well
Teabag   jar with curious smell

Delicious dinner, nicest tea
Bread  and jam  the  most tasty
Soft music of  Sinatra
Conversation  about Sumatra...

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Sizzling bacon in the pan
eggs are gently poaching
sausages hissing and spitting
fried bread turning golden brown

Toast just popped out of the toaster
fragrant wafts of fresh brewed coffee
cheerful tablecloth with vase of flowers
places laid await the bounteous feast

Be your taste just for a bacon sandwich
or if you like the full blown Monty
whatever you choose there is no denying
that the best meal of the day is breakfast...

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I can do this, I can do that
I can do anything, splicketty-splat.

I'm quite the expert, and certainly quick
Excellent service here, licketty-click. 

Your toaster won't roast'er?
	Your car needs repair?
I'll fix your teepee, 
	your sofa and chair
I'll cure your doggy 
	of fleas, lice, and pox
I'll wash your diapers, 
	your windows, your socks.

I'm inexpensive, and fast as a wink
Available any time, blinkity-blink....

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