Short Pints Poems

Gunshots

Murder of treasures,
Of atlanta pints of blood
And warmth shiny cloud....

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Few pints of droplets,

Gallons a creek, tons a sea,

Under weightless clouds....

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Pills swallow what is left of me whole,
Just as bottled pints drink my guzzled self,
And cigarettes suck the cinders of my incinerated soul....

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two pints of Porter
warmed my soul with rich brown eyes
but she was so young

Michael F. Lewis
6\21\2013

My new genre, 
beer + haiku = beerku...

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All the fighting Irish see stars
Over pints of Guinness in bars
But Jan has a plan
To transport each man
Its called, "Cork, Uranus to Mars"...

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Get your knees up, Mother Brown,
For tonight we're going to town.
Under the table, you might go
It won't be knees up though
It will be from the pints swigged down....

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There once was a man who had swagger
When he drank seven pints of lager
He said "may I have this dance?"
Didn't know he'd peed his pants
So, home on his own he did stagger...

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Old Paddy supped ten pints of  ale
Now drunk as a skunk, he turned pale
He slewed to the right
Got into a fight
Now Paddy’s residing in jail!


03~14~17...

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There was once an old boozer named Dale

   Who guzzled copious pints of ale

      Although he tried his best

         He flunked the road-side test

            And was remanded sans bail to jail...

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(Un)Happy Hour

Bob went to the doc with pain in his rear
Walked with a limp and was "loaded" with fear
doc hemmed and he hawed 
amazed what he saw
Stashed deep in Bob's butt were two pints of beer...

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moi
 
Moulded bred crusty
Summers vino severed tie
Auld Stinking Bishop
 
Ma
 
Shiny new sunspot
Shadowed by Misses Meaner
Clouded spineless imp
 
Pa
 
Longhaired lout cuddles
Pints fizzing ale gently pours
Tears orphan abandoned...

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Opening bottles

Men can
Women can't
Not always anyway.
Some women
Have men's hands
Knobbly and strong
Take my late mother-in-law
Hands good for
Wringing heavy washing
Lifting pints of Guinness too!
Me, useless, needing a man
If only to open my bottles....

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Here lies entombed a poet
Whose verses in ether lie, 
He seeks no tears of mortals
Neither seeks a mournful sigh; 

Gay blooms shrouding his gravestone
Are magical spells of his, 
They'll drench your soul with nectar
And pints of heavenly bliss.
       ***********...

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wrote poetry with William Shakespeare
while drinking pints, of strong home brew beer
I was drunk, too much ale
he wrote The winters tale
Hamlet, As you like it and king Lear

14th September 2017,
Name dropper Limerick contest,
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw.

Syllable count 9,9,6,6,9....

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I've got to tell you I've stopped smoking,
Not had one for nearly a year.
Some turn to eating lots of sweeties,
I turned to drinking more beer.

I have just got to say
It's getting easier each day.
I can now drink ten pints,
Without a wobble or a sway.

But I am putting on weight
Drinking all of this beer,
So I'm going to try whiskey,
Starting next year....

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In Christmas this old man thought time was good
To drink pints of beer as much as he could
Went to sleep after last sip
He couldn’t foresee he’d soon drip
Didn’t wear diaper, return to babyhood.

________________

November 17, 2022
Syllable count : 10 10 7 7 10 (HMS)
Rhyme checked at rhymezone.com
Contest : A Fun Holiday Limerick
Sponsored by : Tania Kitchin...

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Power plant particled poison

                    People breathing pints per person

                              Pending paramedic pursuit

                                        Pushing poppies past the pigment




                                                                      11/26/17
                                                     Written for contest: "Alliteration"...

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One sip two sip three sip four

One shot two shot three shot four

One drink two drink three drink four

One pint two pint three pint four

One cop two cop three cop four

One try two try three try four

One crash two crash three crash four

One pill two pill three pill four 

One slice two slice three slice four

One chance two chance three chance four

One knife two pints three lies 

life no more...

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I needed a pick-me-up present
But couldn’t rely on an elf,
So I found what I wanted on Etsy
And ordered a gift for myself.

The crafter is stationed in Ireland
So when it was several days late,
I figured that holiday madness
Meant that I should be patient and wait.

Today, though, with patience rewarded,
A package arrived; there were cheers
From my husband, who noticed the dangling
As Guinness pints sway from my ears....

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She drowns herself in pints and quarts
And finds solace in liquor bottles
She uses it to mend her broken hearts
Though she stumbles and topples

She decides her fate with alcohol
And speaks through sealed lips
And harshness bounces off her breath like a wall
After she has had a few sips

But dear God bless the tongue of the drunken
Lady, gentleman or naïve child 
Blinded by the bliss of wild desires,
Wasted away like rubbish beguiled....

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If you only had today
how would you spend it?
so many different choices
each leading another way

Would you spend it?
with a loved one?
making that day
so special memorable

Or playing with your child?
spending the last precious
moments together
leaving treasured memories

Maybe down the pub
having the last few pints
nah that's a waste of time
do that any old time

if you knew you only had today
a mountain of things to do
I think,  I know, I would
not waste a single second...

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The Bushy’s crew brewed lots of beer
But TT is cancelled this year
Please give Martin a ring
Four great beers he will bring
To doorsteps to give you good cheer

Two pints cost you only four quid
So do as my husband just did
Call four nine four three nine three
Delivery has no fee ...
They’re only too pleased to get rid!

Poem and U tube clip posted with full permission from Martin Brunnschweiler owner of Bushy's Brewery

22nd April 2020...

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