Short Mortified Poems

mortified, red-colored burns
“OH NO!”
perfect retort
on the way down the stairs

10/27/2022...

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Mortified mom wrote response in daughter's diary: "I am NOT nosy!"



December 19, 2017, entered in s. Grace's Wonderful One-Liners Contest...

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There once was a man from Gibraltar,
Who didn't do what he oughter?
He wore gigantic big socks,
That he filled up with rocks
He also stole bricks, stones and mortar....

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Mind numbingly mortified at the nonsensical 
By waking to find I’m without either testicle

[extract from Dumstruck Is Me for Your Funniest Couplet contest]

Sponsor: L Milton Hankins...

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Contrary to popular belief, guys have feminine side
Some wear gowns pretending they're blushing brides
I'm more reserved
Lacking the nerve
But at the sight of a wee mousie, I'm mortified...

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Contrary to popular belief guys have a feminine side
Some wear gowns pretending they're a blushing bride
I'm more reserved
Lacking the nerve
But at the sight of a wee mousie I'm mortified...

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I can't find my clothes, they have strayed away.
Naked and cold in the middle of day.
Strangers are laughing and rude,
I've no idea why I'm nude.
Let this be a bad dream, dear Lord, I pray.





For Johns's contest.  Nude dream  2nd place...

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SHAME
contempt
misfortune

his pride mortified
by a venomous tongue
dripping spiteful jealousy

“the fury of a woman scorned”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  

Contest: Pyramids
Sponsor: Joseph May
Placed 1st
14th September 2020...

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Billy Carter was a sluggard I hear

   His kinfolk he did not always endear

      He embarrassed his brother

         And mortified his mother

            He cared not one whit as he nursed his beer!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved...

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Did you hear about Frosty The Snowman?

   His reign didn't play out according to plan.

      Neighborhood dogs peed on him yellow.

         He was one most mortified young fellow!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSGT, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved

Entry for Andrea Dietrich's "A Christmas Character Clerihew" Contest...

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Written on schoolwork
‘Boadicea didn't fight Martians’
Teacher was cruel

I was only about 8 years old and the teacher had actually written that phrase on my history schoolwork and I was mortified. I look back now and think how cruel it was as I had tried my best but I really am useless at art

02~15~17...

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Mustache sandwiches if you please
I am confused but a second 
Then I jump on the band wagon
What about mouse whisker sandwiches?
Mortified muffin sandwiches?
Meager mayonnaise sandwiches?
Now to turn this into a poem somehow.
I sit and stare as a marigold sandwich takes a bite out of my leg.
That works I think.
Writing it down....

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Paralyzed in a tranquil trance,
She stared at the white blank page, terrified,
visualizing a perfect storm, robust and rugged
Then her metacarpals mobilized, resulting
in  a mortified tableau of a raging wave, 
her pawn trapped, 
she sculpted that death defying
dance, 
perfection, 
marred by a sadistic smile,,,
her first work of art...

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Be careful
When talking to a protective sister

If you say the wrong thing
Exaggerate even the slightest
This could happen....

Point him out she will say, 
beginning the hunt, primed and 
ready to tear him apart for you

You will be mortified that you 
embellished the story as you watch
him get flung through the air and hit the wall....

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Ensembles of little wonder,
rattle the mind amiss,
percussing each muse asunder,
more a kick drum than a kiss.
Inherent absurdities,
on which I plaster a smile,
mortified in memories,
regressing all the while.
Through breathless interlude,
studied demeanours lie,
I pray for beats of solitude…
to distract this rhythmless eye.

 

 

 
...

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I,
walk among the zombies
rotting in an unfathomable ghetto,
thrust ‘neath lifeless golden bricks,
drenched in crimson hues 
of survival.

She,
dressed in disgrace,
gyrates to an ugly music,
painting  his evenings in sordid colors!
What have they done to you,
Oh my Modesty!!

A desperate light flickers high above.
Unattainable.
Blind.

Does your fumbling feeble mind remember me?
I was once known as Honesty....

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the rosebush grew
until the days became new
still change is precious and few
the notice of your precious memory is long overdue

at times i feel guilty
now that i have outlived you
i still feel that you are older than me
for your understanding of the world far outranks mine

the rosebush died
modern forwardness is now satisfied
however this old soul is now very mortified
so a freshly new rosebush by me is now applied...

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Recipice Precipice
Carolyn Child would be
Mortified watching me
Cooking with joy and glee
Random ingredients
Thrown in a pot!

Hardly comestible
Near-indigestible
Never repeatable
Undefatigable
Principal requisite
Just make it hot!

————-

Not a pure double dactyl, but in the spirit of one…

Julia Carolyn Child is the person, I pronounce Ju-li-a,
but the syllable counter pronounces Jul-ya,
so I went with her middle name....

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Sight denied apply no reason
Mortified by opposition
Justify your hunting season
Babel you on me

Label quick no super vision
Satisfied with superstition
Argue angered flawed position
Babel you on me

Trigger horrid theist passion
Lashing out with one direction
Mutual assured destruction
Babel you on me

Sense defies your single option
Initiate your demolition
Action broken logic fission
Babel you on me

Jagenberg June 11, 2019...

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It's my first time riding a unicycle,
I am terrified.
I don't want to let go of this wall
and end up mortified. 

My friend had told me it was easy;
Now I know she lied.
She promises she'll be right there
and she's by my side.

I take a breath, I shift my feet,
I pedal just a bit.
The wheel scoots forward, so do I.
Finally, I commit!

I let go, pedaling forward,
I'm finally doing it! 
I laugh with joy and stop the cycle.
Now's a good time to quit....

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