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Constipation - a Really Crap Poem

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A professor has published his thesis On removal of impacted faeces Use the end of a pencil Or a kitchen utensil to dislodge clumps of faeces in pieces! Told you it was a crap poem! 05/14/20

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Old Buck

Date: 6/2/2020 10:12:00 AM

Jan: I have entered the "poo poetry arena" Not to compete with you professionals but to merely "try my hand at it." :o) oldbuck

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2020 3:08:00 PM

ha ha ha Old Buck I am sure your poop poems knock the spots off mine:-) hugs Jan xx

Jack Horne

Date: 5/21/2020 2:18:00 PM

LMAO, OMG, your limericks get better & better!

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2020 3:08:00 PM

Thanks Jack:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 5/19/2020 10:59:00 PM

G'day Jan … don't think I'd want to be employed doing this for a job but in times like this you take what you can. The pay's gunna have to be good though - thank you Jan - Lindsay

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2020 3:07:00 PM

Thanks Lindsay:-) hugs Jan xx

Funom Makama

Date: 5/19/2020 5:56:00 AM

hahahahahaha... Crappy, funny, lovely. Nice!

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2020 3:07:00 PM

thanks Funom:-) hugs Jan xx

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 5/16/2020 12:24:00 PM

LOL Jan - interesting to know if all else fails!Hugs, Jennifer

Jan Allison
Date: 5/16/2020 1:27:00 PM

ha ha ha thankfully its not something I ever intend to try out lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 5/16/2020 6:41:00 AM

Is it stealing if when we print this on T-shirts we use your full name?

Jan Allison
Date: 5/16/2020 8:43:00 AM

OMG Caren that would be hilariarse to see lol, go on get it printed I dare you lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Michelle Faulkner

Date: 5/15/2020 12:37:00 PM

This is the rap of crap - now clean your lap and rinse your zap :)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/16/2020 8:42:00 AM

lol Mark:-) hugs jan xx

Mark Koplin
Date: 5/15/2020 7:23:00 PM

crap rap. hmmm.... I think I've been inspired to write something

Jan Allison
Date: 5/15/2020 3:25:00 PM

lol Michelle, as you see I write poopy poems to make folk smile and the odd more serious one like the sky one you commented on:-) hugs jan xx

Mark Koplin

Date: 5/15/2020 6:29:00 AM

I seem to remember an old farmer I used to work for. He mentioned the use of welding rods. They don't break like a lead pencil can. LOL I guess that's how you can get a little lead in the rear.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/15/2020 3:25:00 PM

ha ha ha thanks Mark:-) hugs Jan xx

Ralph Sergi

Date: 5/14/2020 6:07:00 PM

Hi Jan: How did you clean up when we had outhouses (ha ha) * by the way we call s---t, feces. Is that how you spell faeces in the UK?

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 6:11:00 PM

yes this is our spelling of the poop word! I remember our friend had an outside toilet with newspaper on a piece of string:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin

Date: 5/14/2020 4:06:00 PM

Love it Jan, so funny and entertaining, don't ever stop writing your fun "poop" poems no matter what anyone may say negative about them! hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 4:53:00 PM

I don't give a monkeys what people think - if they don't like my style they don't have to read or they can block me its no skin off my nose:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

Date: 5/14/2020 3:06:00 PM

Jan, you have described precisely how I came up with 'The New Math!' Isn't it lovely?! lol. Thanks, gw

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 3:12:00 PM

ha ha ha hope your pencil is clean GW, how amazing you posted that poem today lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Mystic Rose Rose

Date: 5/14/2020 2:56:00 PM

EW! A pencil , really ?

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 2:58:00 PM

lol its a joke my friend:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta

Date: 5/14/2020 1:44:00 PM

"What the mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve" and most certainly better he than me! Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 2:58:00 PM

Thanks Mo and Rico:-) hugs Jan xx

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 5/14/2020 2:04:00 PM

...Sounds better than prune juice! Given up the booze though, and eating well enough I don't even need pain killers at all anymore. Eating for the brain has solved all my body problems, go figure! ~x

Judy Ball

Date: 5/14/2020 10:59:00 AM

Ooohoohoohoo! God Bless and stay well my friend. JB

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 2:57:00 PM

thanks Judy :-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 5/14/2020 10:50:00 AM

Haha, I take it the Epsom salts didn't work then, Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 10:53:00 AM

ha ha ha nowt to do with my habits tom lol:-) hugs jan xx

Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 5/14/2020 9:17:00 AM

Ya warned me, or should I say teased me, had to wait for it ;), Oh, some of the most painful memories I have of breaking half the bones in my body are of the constipation from the pain killers Seriously. O M G. Love it Jan, xomo! <3

Rico Leffanta
Date: 5/14/2020 1:47:00 PM

Mo, go down to the liquor store and buy a bottle of Fernet-Branca! Italian monk solved that problem centuries ago! (Doesn't make your breath kissing-sweet, but it works out). Aloha! Rico

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 5/14/2020 9:34:00 AM

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 9:20:00 AM

I had to write this one and dedicate it to the pigeon tart lol; I will never stop penning poopy or farty poems, those who write high faluting poems only they understand can whistle!:-) hugs jan xx

Mike Gentile

Date: 5/14/2020 9:09:00 AM

So good, it's sure to be banned!! And the imagery is non erasable!! Good one!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 9:17:00 AM

lol Mike, I have written many poems on poop and farting - this one was inspired by the old joke, I can't see any reason for any poems I write to be banned, if folk don't like my humour fine they dont have to read it - the title says it all lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Mark Koplin

Date: 5/14/2020 8:32:00 AM

Omg! That is funny. Praise the porcelain gods! You have dropped a good one Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 5/14/2020 9:16:00 AM

ha ha ha:-) hugs Jan xx