Short Armpits Poems

The corpse flower, like 
the armpits of rancid love, 
your bouquet floors me....

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I came to realize there was an orchestra in my pits…when the solo violinist just wouldn't quit...

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Just began to bike
To my brand new office job
Got a new nickname
They call me “Sweaty Armpits”
I’ll probably have to quit...

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Two armpits
Everyone has
Tub, sink or shower
In need of baths
In need of protection
Roll, glide or spray
Wash and deodor
Every day...

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The greatest joy in life has to be
To go for weeks without any fleas
Armpits attract
Alluring in fact
On second thought, maybe I'm just a slease...

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Why is it we can't tickle ourselves
End up scratching our armpits, needing gel
Almost draw blood
Tickling don't budge
It's usually where our giggles dwell...

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In the land of fairies and gnomes
Was a gnome often seen on the phone
And an up to date fairy
With armpits quite hairy
Like all ballplayers were spit prone...

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What makes a man a man do you think
Big muscles and hairy armpits that don't stink
But really beyond all that
Humor needs to hatch
Nothing compares to this standup fink...

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What makes a man a man do you think
Big muscles and hairy armpits that don't stink
But really beyond all that
Humor needs to hatch
Nothing compares to this standup fink...

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He staggered from her bedroom zombie like,
And scratched his armpits, belching, breaking wind;
His hair was sticking up, his beard unkempt;
He took a shower, brushed his teeth – and grinned....

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What makes a man, a man do you think
Big muscles and hairy armpits that don't stink
But really beyond all that
Humour needs to hatch
Nothing compares to this long-standing link...

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The girl of my dreams has long flowing hair
Straight from her armpits hanging down with flair
Crossed eyes to boot
Big bum, whatta hoot
A divine creature with flaws here and there...

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The girl of my dreams has long flowing hair
Straight from her armpits hanging with flair
Crossed eyes to boot
Big bum, whatta hoot
A divine creature with minor flaws here and there...

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In the land of fairies and gnomes
Was a gnome often seen on the phone
An up to date fairy
With armpits quite hairy
Like all baseball players was spit prone


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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All men and women to get wings like birds,

Below their armpits,

But they feared,

Tiring fly,

The hot sky,

They preferred,

To sit, be in cool and well lit,

They then got aero planes with wings to fly!...

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Bought a new deodorant stick... the label read
“Push up bottom” should've applied it to my armpits instead
Coz when let her fly 
The room smells divine
Passersby swooned, lost control, turned deep red...

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Oscar`s 

Oscar night
Red carpet and 
Clammy armpits 
Valium
Skeletal women 
Gasping for a fag
To smoke in public
Is social suicide 
Wearing the latest 
State of the art  
Dresses 
This vast frivolity 
Is seen by millions...

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She moved gracefully,
her chicks under armpits
pecking here and there
to feed her baby-cocks
and baby-hens hatched
a day ago.

She could suddenly sing
warning songs of security
whenever she saw killer kite
perched on nearby tree....

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A sexy lady in town opened her new Sweat Shop
With all kinds of towels, soaps and deodo-props
All sporty men went inside to purchase
With sweating armpits, rushed in race
Fainting in odor was her first business’ mishap.


Feb. 12, 2022  11.07pm...

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Opinions and Armpits
Written: by Miracle Man
5/15/2024

Our opinions only amount to what we think,
sometimes they will cause others eyes to blink.
But it’s our belief,
and gives us relief.
but like our armpits sometimes they stink.




...

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I scratch my armpits, butt and head, 
And stagger, weary, from my bed.
Before I have a cup of tea,
An icy shower’s next for me.
I’m running late and start to cuss;
I rush outside…and miss the bus.

*some of this is true

Jack Horne for Francine’s Couplet Morning contest, 6th August...

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Within Armpits of
Snow-flakes-dipped
Quivering trees,
Cuddled with
Pale puffy leaves 
Perspiring fogs,
Nevertheless
Siblings
In transition of
Crisis times,
Oddly red
Plump apples 
Hide within
Wombs of snow,
Hungry red robins
Performing
Midwifery...

22 January 2022...

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On Thursday my boobies will get squashed
(My armpits will be thoroughly washed)
Can’t use deo or spray
so I’ll whiff on that day
Mammograms show cancer can be quashed

Always makes me smile that my appointment letter comes from Bristol because in cockney rhyming slang ‘Bristols’ is slang for breasts.

9/19/18...

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I have Smelly Armpits and
Bursting to Go
but; I'm heading to the supermarket
the condiments aisle 
I meet my neighbour
like conversing with a 
pigeon
give me the full recipe 
he says
he has arm wrestling
intelligence - 
but how to get out of it
unsex me now
come, thick night
he talks about his hedges
I shoplift 
the sugar puffs...

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A sordid smile
    a crooked frown
  invisible bile
    a tattered gown
  
  Different color elbows
    cavernous armpits
  Unflavored saliva and spit

  A blistering waistline
    curious shoulders
  A cratered mind
    rocks and boulders

  Checklist never-ending
    no suitors pending
  Resolve never-bending
    all offers final ~ depending...

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