How could I know,
that you were there but though
somehow I knew my mind had flown.
Perhaps we should have known.
The day before I sang our song
To tell you of my love .I was still so strong.
And then the pain came, in the dark of night
and I fell, brought down my chest was tight
My heart had gone and in one last breath
I seemed to know I was near death
But you were beside me there
Somehow I knew you were
You kept that death away
You gave your strength day after day
I promise myself
shall try to read level best
I missed earlier
all poets' treasure
storing building day by day
God's blessing upon
Requesting note:- Please no comment. Just read
You look over she has a smile
But you don't realize the pain inside her
She laughs and plays til the day goes away
Just a normal kid you would think
But behind those laughs and smiles
You wouldn't know she's a survivor
From a disease that took everything but her spirit
When people thought it was too late
A miracle happen that day
She made it through sitting in the hopsital room
Behind those laughs and smiles
You wouldn't know she's a survivor
i am gone
no longer here
no song
no fear
sadness
and madness
its filling my mind
i want to feel the rush
want the world to hush
want to be heard
want to be saved
everything is craved
i reach for the pill
for my fill
just one more time
just one more thrill
want to feel happy
instead of crappy
there is the rush
there is the pain
there is the picture frame
of a little girl
before the pill
before the day she was never there
before the day she died
before the day she ever lived
I feel like I die a little each day as I wait patiently for you.
It's minute by minute, day by day, hour by hour, and now year by year.
I let you go to give you space and spread your wings.
They say if you truly love someone let them go, if its meant to be they will come back to you.
Too many years have flew by its time for me to say my goodbye's.
I die a little each day for I know I'm growing stronger, anyway.
I'm learning how to live and love, and not think of you.
I felt like I died when I let you go but now I know.
Letting you go gave me the wings I needed to grow.
Love is funny you know just when you think your world is falling apart, it
comes around and hits you in the heart.
I did not die, thou it seemed like I would
I stayed strong when it all seemed so wrong
I believe it was all meant to be, just as they said it would.
I live each day patiently so I can see it all.
Be strong and live for you, don't live waiting for someone to make you strong.
Today I was filled with anger,
Going down to the cyber,
In a path brewing brown smoke,
As if to look down upon me,
A four wheeled hissed chocolate smolder to my structure,
I couldn’t see a meter away,
Why do people have to act this way?
I know my standings,
That kind of abuse is far from humanity,
She stared through the tinted windows
With a mocking laughter,
My long slit leso skirt turned color,
I seemed barefooted with my sandals resembling the gravel,
I turned a mine digger that sooner,
My heart was frayed to pieces,
Bestowing the pain to all my cubicles,
Am tired of excuses from this life,
That deprives me sanity to live,
The monster is always there to destruct my peace,
No matter what I do is the same phase,
Am eating time to change this fate,
A day I will have my ride,
I won’t have to showcase my pride,
The day I offload this state of a beggar,
But still respect my roots altogether,
You don’t have to worry of the struggle,
Anticipate victory at the end of this gamble,
One day I’ll plane with you along,
Be sure that day I will ink a new song,
To remember the wrecked artery I have walked along
That was a day of no postponements
No procrastination
No rain checks
There was no need to “think” about it
A day where no more advice was sought
No consultation
No intervention
The day I seized my freedom
The day the line was drawn in the sand!
Note: (Just a flashback from yesterday)
In Bluebeard's castle I kicked open all the windows
With a dead man by my side
Countless women, locked up asunder
Were freed when that castle crumbled
But I still had to wait out the ending
With the stench of my years of slaving
Taking the dreading, the sickening
Feeling of constantly weakening...
As if the mothers of all the men
Of such deeds understood and pitied
Their darlings or... They
Granted me a proposal and a payoff
For all the blues and the grizzly days
And I saw one day of blue skies.
Stalked yet in my dreams
Their heads kept growing--but
My one day is better than their eternity
Because I wake up and shake off
All those fearful days.
Today is the first day of tomorrow
So long to yesterday and the past it leaves behind
Through our childrens lives tomorrow never ends
but now the two of us are cast aside
Invulnerable to the petty nonsense we create
Just look into their eyes
and know here and now that its all for them
no more worrying about each others lies
Today is the first day of tomorrow
So long to yesterday and the past it leaves behind
Just think about their future and what it holds
For this we will always be intertwined
The love we began seven years ago now no longer shines
The focus now is the tomorrow of their tomorrow and the sparkles in their eyes
and know here and now thats its all for them
severed vows for me and you and all our ties that bind
Today is the first day of tomorrow
so long to yesterday and the path it leaves behind
Rebuilding lives and moving on
The two of us will never see eye to eye
I know I’m not normal
In the sense I want to be
And I can’t make the world conformal
Or the center of it me
I lived day to day always in the same day
Caught in a mind I didn’t know
And I couldn’t will it drink it or drug it away
So I had to find some way to go
I went to the wife the doc and the shrink
Anywhere for some relief
All I was given was a little pill so pink
And told to take it with belief
It took a long time to get the right pill
To do what my mind needed of it
Then at last one worked and my mind got its’ fill
Yet I needed something more to get full benefit
Off to a rehab to learn to live anew
And learn how to re-think
So many things I had to learn to do
And the process would at times stink
The process has been painful the process slow
The trip has been a wild ride
But for all the troubles I’ve seen myself grow
And my smile is a mile wide
PORTRAIT
Three, Rather' Four.
Disabled or 'the UNITED STATE of disrepair?
Despondant, but definately dejected
Degenerating ,yet daringly dysfunctional
Paths ,Line of Sight, Swords ; Secure.
The welcomed Blessing on; support on support,
Through the blinking blinkered middling winter eye.
d.john jan 07' Twenty-10
This poem is inspired and birthed after an early morning conversation with A Fox and
England. Written on a day of cricketing importance SA v ENG final day of new years Test
match , is reflected and cross referenced in the opening line.
Say their fool you are just a tool
I’m the monkey on your back
From the day you were born
I have cut you no slack
Your deepest fear I’m always here
Just one shot away
To slide that needle into your vein
Spinning the world away
Your wooden beast, I’m your feast
I know you feel my call
I just live here in the shadows
Waiting for you to fall
Write your write trying to fight
What is a part of you
But in the end know my friend
You and I are not through
-----------------------------------
The hell we aren't, never again.
I have no idea if a monkey is a
Wooden beast but after being a
junkie inside and out for over
twenty years this is a fear that
is a part of my everyday. I praise
God for another day clean.
Written for Matt's contest, mj
the guy she thought,
loved her to death.
has drifted away,
and loves her less.
all the times they messed around,
she finally thought to her.
what would he do if she said no,
would he leave her for someone else?
one day they were lying on the bed,
and then she finally said no.
and never realized until now,
how he kept going when she told him no.
she was too scared to push him off of her,
when he didn't let her go.
why didn't he just realize
that she really did say no.
now to this day she feels the pain,
because after she said no.
he finally came to realize it,
and suddenly let her go.
Cold turkey
I bounce off the wall before I step through
Seep through brick
A sudden stop is shocking
And a sudden stop is harsh
The first day is the hardest
It goes on forever
The second day is the hardest
It goes on for ever
Slowly I am wont to slip
And the itching never stops
Slowly moving through this wall I’ve hit
Until I reach the other end
So I can leave my stripes behind
And run
But no matter what, I can’t outrun myself
The third day is the hardest
And the stripes are always there
But once I get past the gradual slow
After the sudden stop
I’ll go faster than before
And maybe I’ll catch up to you
This is my job, changing young minds;
showing them the route to numbers and rhymes,
giving them knowledge of a brand new day,
and how to kindly have their say.
I had no idea where the road would lead
when I was testing to see if she could read.
I can remember way back when
some of the things I thought had to be a sin.
A week into school I am sure I knew her plan,
But I was still on square one saying, "I just don't understand."
I knew my day would be a mess
when she ripped my paper and lost the test,
Yelled at Johnny and calling him a name,
telling Mary the way she looked was a pitfall shame.
What had I done? Is this what I deserve?
An eight year old to wreck my nerves,
And tell me "so" and you ain't my boss."
She was fighting back at any cost.
This child here I was suppose to teach,
but where I was standing she was impossible to reach.
I prayed for the day to quickly end,
for the thoughtsI had I can't defend.
Thinking that there was still a chance,
I turned to see her doing a dirty dance.
My eyes filled with tears and a visible sorrow,
At the frightening thought , that there was always tomorrow.
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