Psychiatrist Poems

The elevator man

He was fearful that if he fell asleep,
lithium batteries in his cells would leak.
A new prescription his psychiatrist wrote
and that's how he started on Depakote..
His ups and downs were hard to endure.
One day he seized on the kitchen floor.
There wasn't a history of seizures before.
In time he grew so darn depressed that most
mornings he could

An Hour With a Psychiatrist

I’d like an hour with a psychiatrist 
To discover what I already know
A deep releasing conversation
Go places I dare not go

I’d lie back on a chaise lounge
I don’t care if it’s a woman or a man
I’d go deep into the recesses
As truthfully as I can

Maybe then I could sleep peacefully
Though I confess I’ve done nothing

The Psychiatrist

The Psychiatrist


You make pleasant YouTube videos about things that you learned 
From books, countless courses, trainings
And what you heard from others.
And chiselled and smoothed your voice
So that it is as warm and pleasant
As synthesised music.
And control each facial muscle
Like well-drilled soldiers.
Your back is held straight
With well-ordered shoulders
And you force your hands
To stay open in a

Dangerous Drugs

All drugs have the potential to be harmful
We know ourselves more than doctors and Psychiatrists
Some drugs have irreversible side effects
Especially drugs that are purposely and forcefully given
Adverse effects may include long term mental effects
Short term extensive health problems and hallucinations
These drugs slowly and rapidly push us on the verge of collapse...
Note. Stay out of reach

Triplet

Short Poem
Swines call me crazy and pigs call me mad
Very sad very sad and very bad very bad
This ain't gonna work because I am their dad.
Note. There are three lines in the Poem and nine words in each line.
Lesson. 3 x 9 = ?

You, Are Not a Psychiatrist

Don't use psychoanalysis on poetic friends!
You have no degree, and you never spent even one hour 
with them, personally.

If you possess no degree, or never worked in psychiatry,
Be their friend, stop being Dr. Sigmund Freud.
Be a friend, unequivocally!

A poem is an expression of a poet's heart in rhyme.
Analyze the poem, not the poet.....
Better to accept

You May Pay On Your Way Out

Ever take one of those psychological stress quizzes 
With one of those psychiatrist
Know-it alls?
Me neither.

Ever gonna?
Me neither.

What would be the point?
Oh, my GAWD! You should be depressed.
Stern look.

I’m not.
Then something is wrong with you.
Thanks.

That will be $150. 
You may pay my receptionist on your way out.
That’s it?
Yes, this was your intake session.

I get the receptionist’s

Save Us From the Experts

The experts were angry at first, but by the time they thought to invite me to the party all three were livid.
Three men were backed up on three walls, bodies crossed, minds set, angry faces, helping not a bit.
I took a deep breath, knowing it would be a hundred times easier if I made them

Careful With My Psychiatrist

We know that Father Christ is Eternal God
Father Christ is Jesus Christ
Called Him Father Christ
In Catholic Church, we call the priest Father [name of the priest]

I thought that we call the priest “Father” to represent Father Christ
But no Catholic supports me
They said there is only but one Father in heaven
Know that

Question is “why are we

Eulogy For a Psychiatrist

Listening never heard
Watching never seen
Relating unrelated
Screening behind a screen
Eyes
white lights in a blue pool
maybe one watt
Voice
warm soothing
a computerized hum
Thoughts mechanized
Battery recharged every hour
on the hour
Grown man
Alone man
Stone man


6/28/17

Another Psychiatrist With Consult

Another Psychiatrist With Consult

He wanted to start a new movement
Until down commode all of it went
And never learned how to use a brush
Without a doubt did forget to flush.

Can't wait to see White House condition
Use latrine I must have their permission
You guessed what there me did greet
Was commode with a raised seat.

On yourself have to

A Psychiatrist Said To His Patient

A psychiatrist said to his patient,
“Your neuroses are still only latent.
   But what’s becoming acute,
   And makes that point moot, 
Are your psychoses, which are all very flagrant.”

My Psychiatrist

My psychiatrist makes me laugh,
because he laughs at me.
I have a odd personality you see.
He laughed when I told him
my heart almost burst.
From stress of course.

I'm better now in mind and body.
My gaiety must be infectious.
He laughed and became raucous. 
We agreed it was best
if we met no more.
Then laughed some more.

Thank you Dr. O

Psychiatrist Phone Greeting

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you please.
Press 3, 4, 5, and 6 if you have multiple personalities.
If you happen to struggle with ADHD
just press..hey look over there. A little kitty!
If you are paranoid-delusional, don't press anything at all. 
Just stay on the line

Lines For a Female Psychiatrist

Lines for a Female Psychiatrist
 

Perhaps when I’m better I’ll discover
you aren’t married, after all,
and I should be better by Spring.

On that day I’ll walk
down Michigan Avenue
and up again along the Lake,
my back to the wind, facing you,
my black raincoat buttoned to the neck,
my collar a castle wall
around my crew cut growing in.

Do you remember

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