A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, 'You're crazy' The man says, 'I want a second opinion!' 'Okay, you're ugly too!'
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I myself spent nine years in an insane asylum and I never had the obsession of suicide, but I know that each conversation with a psychiatrist, every morning at the time of his visit, made me want to hang myself, realizing that I would not be able to cut his throat.
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It is almost impossible to be a doctor and an honest man, but it is obscenely impossible to be a psychiatrist without at the same time bearing the stamp of the most incontestable madness: that of being unable to resist that old atavistic reflex of the mass of humanity, which makes any man of science who is absorbed by this mass a kind of natural and inborn enemy of all genius.
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I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.
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Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
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The difference between a neurotic, a psychotic, and a psychiatrist. The neurotic builds castles in the sky, the psychotic lives in them and the psychiatrist collects the rent.
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Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
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After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
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I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet
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There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
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One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom.
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A man goes to a psychiatrist. 'Nobody listens to me!' The doctor says, 'Next!'
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A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
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A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
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A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing
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You go to psychiatrist when your slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely broke.
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A psychiatrist is a man who goes to the Folies-Berg?re and looks at the audience.
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And hey-the psychiatrist in the show is Italian also. So people are going to focus on what they want to focus on. There's not much you can do about that.
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