Best Psychiatrist Poems

My psychiatrist makes me laugh,
because he laughs at me.
I have a odd personality you see.
He laughed when I told him
my heart almost burst.
From stress of course.

I'm better now in mind and body.
My gaiety must be infectious.
He laughed and became raucous. 
We agreed it was best
if...

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If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you please.
Press 3, 4, 5, and 6 if you have multiple personalities.
If you happen to struggle with ADHD
just press..hey look over there. A little kitty!
If you are paranoid-delusional,...

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Please don’t ask me what I don’t want to tell
Say something is wrong, as you should know well
You think I’m a nut, and that’s ok
Cause I know I’m one, and oh, by the way
Help me get my meds adjusted, before I loose my mind
Illness that...

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A psychiatrist said to his patient,
“Your neuroses are still only latent.
   But what’s becoming acute,
   And makes that point moot, 
Are your psychoses, which are all very flagrant.”...

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Don't use psychoanalysis on poetic friends!
You have no degree, and you never spent even one hour 
with them, personally.

If you possess no degree, or never worked in psychiatry,
Be their friend, stop being Dr. Sigmund Freud.
Be a friend, unequivocally!

A poem is an expression of a poet's...

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I’d like an hour with a psychiatrist 
To discover what I already know
A deep releasing conversation
Go places I dare not go

I’d lie back on a chaise lounge
I don’t care if it’s a woman or a man
I’d go deep into the recesses
As truthfully as I can

Maybe...

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Listening never heard
Watching never seen
Relating unrelated
Screening behind a screen
Eyes
white lights in a blue pool
maybe one watt
Voice
warm soothing
a computerized hum
Thoughts mechanized
Battery recharged every hour
on the hour
Grown man
Alone man
Stone man


6/28/17...

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The Psychiatrist


You make pleasant YouTube videos about things that you learned 
From books, countless courses, trainings
And what you heard from others.
And chiselled and smoothed your voice
So that it is as warm and pleasant
As synthesised music.
And control each facial muscle
Like well-drilled soldiers.
Your back is held straight
With...

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"Tell me your ten happiest moments,
from birth through all your years."
ensconced he sat behind his desk,
stroking his Freudian beard.

"Take your time, my dear, and think,
just tell me when you're done."
I swear, for the life of me,
I couldn't think of one.

That Christmas when I was four
and...

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We know that Father Christ is Eternal God
Father Christ is Jesus Christ
Called Him Father Christ
In Catholic Church, we call the priest Father [name of the priest]

I thought that we call the priest “Father” to represent Father Christ
But no Catholic supports me
They said there is only...

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Ever take one of those psychological stress quizzes 
With one of those psychiatrist
Know-it alls?
Me neither.

Ever gonna?
Me neither.

What would be the point?
Oh, my GAWD! You should be depressed.
Stern look.

I’m not.
Then something is wrong with you.
Thanks.

That will be $150. 
You may pay my receptionist on your way...

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The experts were angry at first, but by the time they thought to invite me to the party all three were livid.
Three men were backed up on three walls, bodies crossed, minds set, angry faces, helping not a bit.
I took a deep breath, knowing it...

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He was fearful that if he fell asleep,
lithium batteries in his cells would leak.
A new prescription his psychiatrist wrote
and that's how he started on Depakote..
His ups and downs were hard to endure.
One day he seized on the kitchen floor.
There wasn't a history of seizures before.
In...

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Short Poem
Swines call me crazy and pigs call me mad
Very sad very sad and very bad very bad
This ain't gonna work because I am their dad.
Note. There are three lines in the Poem and nine words in each line.
Lesson. 3 x 9 = ?...

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All drugs have the potential to be harmful
We know ourselves more than doctors and Psychiatrists
Some drugs have irreversible side effects
Especially drugs that are purposely and forcefully given
Adverse effects may include long term mental effects
Short term extensive health problems and hallucinations
These drugs slowly and rapidly push...

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