Short Psychiatrist Poems

my brother
my mother
my bartender
my psychiatrist
my babysitter
my best friend

my instrument
my music......

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I have extremely dangerous mental health.
I had one session with a psychiatrist, then he killed himself....

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A guy just seeking a tan
Went out all wrapped in Saran
A psychiatrist near
Said your case is quite clear
I see your nuts crazy man...

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Her psychiatrist said the crux
Was the whole of her love life sucks
What she should do now
Is find a Pow Wow
Where she's bound to make a few bucks...

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I have extremely dangerous mental health.
I had one session with a psychiatrist, then he killed himself.
So I guess it's very true
the damage my whining can do....

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My psychiatrist ain't cheap
now that I swapped the basic for an iPhone 4G.
Guess them Apples really do keep the doctors away!
That is if you have the funds to pay......

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i’m lonely and can’t understand ~ why my waiting room is never full 

said the psychiatrist to his dentist ~ whom replied you talk such bull


By
David Kavanagh...

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In Hillary Book Read

What we read and the final result,
By Trump received another insult;
Brain so big;
Size of a fig;
With psychiatrist needs to consult.

Jim Horn...

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Sometimes I feel   extremely cruel,
And  want to kill someone just with a stool.
My wife sent me to a psychiatrist for a visit.
O.K. I visited. Kill. But, still I feel uneasy....

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Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I hatched from that egg on the day I was born....

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A psychiatrist said to his patient,
“Your neuroses are still only latent.
   But what’s becoming acute,
   And makes that point moot, 
Are your psychoses, which are all very flagrant.”...

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I have extremely dangerous mental health.
I had only one session with a psychiatrist, then he killed himself.
All I could think of was just one thing.
I must have really depressed the crap out of him....

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Visited a psychiatrist, proved to be a strain
She apologized, she couldn't find my brain
Told her to keep searching
I can hear some chirping
Also noticed the chirping was extremely profane...

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She just told me to go back to sleep and that she would take me to see the 
psychiatrist tomorrow first thing in the morning.     I thought to myself why do these 
things always happen to me, especially me....

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I am constantly stressed
So I see my shrink

My psychiatrist, too, of course
And, oh yeah, this group –

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays
A “Life Skills” group

Supposedly,
They teach me life skills...

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Not quite sure bout this strange brain of mine
Got it checked, psychiatrist said t'was ALMOST fine
A few more treatments
No worry of impeachment
My chances are better than that other enshrined...

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Weird Trump Wants To Remain

In White House weird Trump wants to remain;
And wild thought his psychiatrist did entertain,
With much vigor,
He grew bigger;
Without a doubt he has become totally insane.

Jim Horn...

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Visited a psychiatrist, proved to be quite a strain
Searched but apologized she couldn't find my brain
Told her to keep searching
I can hear some chirping
Also noticed the chirping was extremely profane...

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Short Poem
Swines call me crazy and pigs call me mad
Very sad very sad and very bad very bad
This ain't gonna work because I am their dad.
Note. There are three lines in the Poem and nine words in each line.
Lesson. 3 x 9 = ?...

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Believe in love at first sight, do you?
You’re not alone. Many still do.
Most are now divorced, separated, or estranged,
the majority miserable, bitter, even deranged.
A few hopefuls still visit an optometrist,
though most a sympathetic psychiatrist....

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My psychiatrist told me “All things considered...
You're as good as can be expected, given that you're skittered!”
Said, “What the hell does that mean?”
Answered, “Your brain's a bit lean!”
May have to have a lobotomy... brain's all frittered...

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To his psychiatrist a pig complained:
I’m struggling with a matter I need explained:
Why are our yearly losses
rarely by natural causes?

Nonsense, said the shrink,
give it some reconsideration. 
You’ll find, I think,
it’s just a pigment of your imagination....

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I went to his door
After doing a bit of a crazy thing
My Doc told me this man could settle
my brain and it's loose spring
PSYCHO-THE-RAPIST
Was some kind of psychiatrist
But after reading the words beheld
on that door, 
I must admit- from that building I tore!


A. Green...

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To his psychiatrist a pig complained:
I’m struggling with a matter I need explained:
Why are the yearly losses of pigs
rarely by natural causes? What gives?

Nonsense, said the shrink,
give it some reconsideration. 
You’ll find, I think,
it’s just a pigment of your imagination....

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Listening never heard
Watching never seen
Relating unrelated
Screening behind a screen
Eyes
white lights in a blue pool
maybe one watt
Voice
warm soothing
a computerized hum
Thoughts mechanized
Battery recharged every hour
on the hour
Grown man
Alone man
Stone man


6/28/17...

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