Do you have a poetic licence
to park your pitiful purple prose
(alliteratively he wrote)
it even puts my poor feet to sleep
and gives me painful coma toes
(literally did he quote)
And have you paid your syn tax
to persist in paltry poetry
(a non sequitur perhaps)
as dabbling in sad scribbling
is how your paean 'ppears to me
(no storied scripts mere scraps)
Before paper and pen you pick up
or possibly parchment and quill
(pheasant not porcupine)
please procrastinate perchance to ponder
prior to putting out pig in a poke swill
(pearls of wisdom before swine)
Having counted wooly sheep
was woken from a deep delta sleep
in the middle of the night
thought I'd heard a pig snort
but no that can't be right
tho' kicked out of bed
and landing on my head
knew where I stood
for delegated to the floor
then relegated to the room next door
when in no uncertain terms she said,
'You're sawing wood, you snore!'
Not as such a silk purse,
but a sow's ear would be worse.
Not so much a pig in a poke
(jiggery-pokery),
more a poke at a pig in a joke
(piggery-jokery).
All in all,
Sy-hokery!
There is a kitten for every pot
A pot for every pig
A pig for every poke
A kitten for every mitten
I was tired of this politician
What was he trying to do?
Did everyone want a pig?
Certainly not a pig in a poke
The kittens in the mittens were hanging behind him
Snug in their tight little mittens, hanging on a line
Rolling their eyes
As if to say
Do you believe this bimbo?
Wildlife 15
"Pinky" was born in a litter
Where his humour made everyone titter,
He once told a joke
Of a pig in a poke
So his mum kicked him right in the ter!
Someone tell me something
give it me
a direction please
I’ll buy it on the internet
if there’s any free release
Shiny,shiny glitter me
tell me something please
tell me what must I be necessity
this silence is blinding me
and reprint me the receipt
Send me fusion flicker screen
and all those other more important things
my life can be wrapped in cellophane
if delivery is certain
make it within the next couple of days
And if there is a quick fix
to stop me from from ever getting ill
don’t worry I will take it
I’ll swallow down that quiet little pill
never read the label
so long as my meds keep me, keep me stable
Please drag me further from this crazy world
kicking a scream with all the hate I’ve heard
tell me something, anything better
I only want to feel, just a little bit healthier
send me a balm
please prescribe me something
which will keep me calm
don’t worry I’ll swallow any caustic pill
so long as it stops me
from ever getting ill
So someone tell me something please
some miracle from the factories
something predisposed to zombie-hood
something I would know if I could
something
anything
to stop this nagging doubt
Marmite, was somebody having a joke
And hot vindaloo is a pig in a poke
And serve me up soup that is runny and thin
It’s soup down the sink and the tin in the bin
I kinda like eggs gathered when newly laid
They're great in an omelette if properly made
But then there’s Welsh Rarebit, a dish sure to please
And these both explain the existence of cheese
But how did the tale of cheese ever unfold
Someone thought milk would taste good turned to mould
So they sat back and let the milk get warm and old
And presto, we’ve got ourselves food that is gold
There’s cheese that is mild and cheese that is strong
And cheese that will near knock you out with its pong
It’s devoured with gusto from Hull to Hong Kong
And seventeen trillion mice can’t be wrong
Lycra clad folk say you’ll get fat and ill
As they struggle to cycle their bikes up the hill
But cock a deaf ear as they preach their dislike
There’s more mice than people and none ride a bike
17 November 2018
Next Republican Clown
Trump with his tricks tries to make us curious
All his methods did was to made us furious
Being just like presumptuous pig in a poke
With same color hair looking like big joke.
Thinks he is amusing while us he is abusing
Things together we should now start fusing
He's become part of audition as an actor
Impossible for us to be a moral benefactor.
With all his humor is hailing all of the hardy
Who are foremost fools in Republican Party
Have new weird name for the collective noun
I can see clearly now is Republican clown.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Play this while reading my poem.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=i+can+see+clearly+now+on+youtube&view=detail&mid=2F9D0E3FCD3AD812566D2F9D0E3FCD3AD812566D&FORM=VIRE3
I'm thinning out some things of mine
I do not want or need
Some for sale some for trade
Most of it is free
My poisonous relationships
They gave me fits and rashes
All the bridges that I burned
Well, there's the can of ashes
Wishes are a dime a dozen
Believe me there are plenty
You can have my broken dreams
And thoughts are just a penny
This box of nickels is dirt cheap
They're all made of wood
A pack of lies that I bought
Some are pretty good
There used to be some happiness
It seems to be misplaced
I lost some time that I was given
But most just went to waste
These mirrors with smoke, a pig in a poke
A hook, line, and sinker
All came free with my insurance
From unscrupulous hood-winkers
My policy is "No returns"
I hope you'll understand
If you're like me then you'll agree
This junk's still in demand
national poetry competition entry under my pen name "poemdog"
Here is a story that’s hard to forget
A beauty skin product from an old barnyard pet
He calls it Heal Fast and it’s made from pig lard
From the fat little pigs that he kept in his yard
It heals anything from acne to burns
And of jars that he’s sold, he has had no returns
You rub it on wounds or places you chafe
No proof that it works or that it’s even safe
And in spite of the fact it’s not tested so far
He’ll bottle it up and send you a jar
Sure, he’s working with doctors who’ll call FDA
And give them their findings about any day
But until that day (and this isn’t a joke)
You’re buying what’s known as a Pig in a Poke
Another true story from your old Uncle Mike
Sam bought a yellow pig in a poke
He was a chip of a good old bloke
The Yellow broke Sam's peace
Sold at a dime a piece
Sam had to put on a mourning cloak
© RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
December 02, 2014
Funny talk... "diddly squat"
Means basically nothing to me!
Where do these words come from?
Do they grow these things on trees?
What a joke... "a pig in a poke"
Fooled unsuspecting buyers!
Instead of a piggy inside the bag
Twas a kitty cat for the fryer!
But of course... "hay's for horses"
Here's another reason to spend?
Some stuffing for your Jockeys
To give you a fuller front end!
Just my luck... "I'm a dead duck"
She caught me with this lady!
Not to worry, it all turned out
Twas Mom so nothing shady!
Whadya think... "Take forty winks"
Causes trouble with wifey poo!
Of course if you wink at a filly
And the filly winks back at you!
It's really absurd... these silly words
They upset our daily routine!
They've been known to turn sunny days
To the ugliest days ever seen!
© Jack Ellison 2013
A Pig in a Poke--Cheese & Whine
A pretty girl named Mary Crary
And her sweetheart wanted to marry.
Her daddy said, “Take her
But do not forsake her
When you find that Mary’s contrary”.
Laughter ensues from the tricks being played
undue is the pain as nerves shredded frayed
disorder the purpose dysfunction effect,
poorly presented jokingly direct
from a pig in a poke with a funnybone joke,
not even funny are the thrills being broke
but then....hitting the funnybone is no joke......
Pain and pleasure is an individualized ideal,
as our world of perception becomes obviously real.....
Seven layers of fodder litter my desk
some of it golden
but mostly just mess
A flashlight -
should darkness suddenly fall
as I sleep at the switch
in case you don’t call
Three AA batteries when I really need four
to fire up the vacuum and suck up the gore
Two pretty flat rocks I can’t bear to discard
I may chew them tonight should I find myself charred
There’s a wee house from Ireland
my friend sent from afar
a condolence for leaving . . .
my front door ajar
An adding machine to calculate my losses
the numbers fly backwards, like aging,
but reverses
A roll of paper towels, a bottle of Windexes
as I tinker and fiddle and deny and digresses
I came in this room to clean up my messes
from 2005 I hope to start freshes
Here’s a blast from the past, a flash in the pan
a pig in a poke, a tickle and a smoke
It’s so worth the effort and a waste of my time
to blow up the past and change up the rhyme
so tell me you love me and I could care if it’s true
cuz ‘06 is here in its wiliness right on cue
It better be damned good, 'cause last year sucked the big one
. . . in days of auld lang syne
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