Funny Parody Poems

I bought me a horse from a feller named Clyde,
said, "She’s gentle and sweet, just a joy for to ride."
Well, "Maybe" she was, and maybe...

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Holy Slime of Spring™
Seasonal Epic -- Limited Drop

A divine ooze imbued with chaotic Easter energy.
Hand-delivered by a suspiciously muscular bunny and sealed in a glitter...

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TimeSteep™ Tea Leaves
Brew your past. Sip your future. Choke on your destiny.

Tired of basic herbal blends that just soothe your throat?
Want a cup that knows...

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MysticMisfits™ Return Policy
(Cursed Edition)
--for when you regret your haunted impulse buys but the universe has other plans.
Please read carefully. Some conditions may apply to your...

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MysticMisfits™ Staff Directory

Staff Spotlight:The WanderPoet
Position: Ephemeral Verse Consultant
Clock-in Time: Unknown
Clock-out Time: Immediately After You Notice Him

You won’t see him arrive.
You might catch a glimpse--
a flicker...

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Presenting...

LipHex™ Balm
The kiss that lingers… like a spell.

Are your kisses lacking oomph?
Need to make a statement that’s equal parts soft and sinister?

Introducing LipHex™ Balm--
infused with...

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How to Find the Shop
A whispered map for the bold, the broken, and the slightly curious.

--A cryptic guide for those who seek the odd, the...

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The MysticMisfits™ Catalog
 “Where the arcane meets the absurd.” 

Featured Products:

MysticMist™ Eye Drops – See the truth. Regret immediately.

BoneTone™ Music Box – Wind your way...

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Introducing... BoneTone™ Music Box!
Tired of basic playlists?
Want music with soul -- and possibly a few spirits?

Crank open your ancestral vault
with the BoneTone™ Music Box--
the only...

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Introducing... MysticMist™ Eye Drops! 
See the unseen. Blink into the beyond.

Are your regular eye drops leaving you… underwhelmed?
Do you yearn to gaze into the fabric...

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 (to the tune of “Love and Marriage”)

Zelle or Venmo, Zelle or Venmo
Modern methods to let all your cash flow.
I can tell you, honey -
This...

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Someone asked old Mrs. O'Leary,
"What do you think about string theory?"
She said, "I don't believe in such a thing,
because it doesn't cover everything,
and what it...

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And now it starts,
And yes, I'm back at last,
Four years of trials and tribulations,
Capped off by this raucous jubilation.

I fought and won,
Proved them all wrong,
The...

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Deck the Halls
Whacked the guy that stole my money
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
"Jail's the place for you now, sonny,"
Fa, la, la,...

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?? Dashing through the mall,
With a coffee in my hand,
Frantic gift-card haul,
This wasn’t what I planned!
Sales are all but gone,
Shelves are looking bare,
How’d I wait...

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