I'm laying here tonight
In the bed we used to share
Looking at your side hurts
Without you it's so bare
I pull your pillow close to me
But you scent is gone too
As tears roll down my face
My heart breaks again missing you
It hurts a little extra knowing
You leaving is because of me
This burden I'll carry forever
I deserve all this misery
I don't deserve happiness
That fact should be known
I deserve this life of regret
That I'll forever spend alone
Just so you're aware I'll tell you
It's you my heart will always choose
I still believe what we had was magical
And something too precious to lose
I cannot believe that we're done forever
Don't you desire what we were too
Ask yourself and your heart will answer
What we had is too angelic to be through
How is it you wonder I still love you
Even after all the hell we went through
There were bad times but remember the good
My heart longs for those moments with you
I miss you in ways I can't explain
A piece of me is missing without you here
My love is greater than I ever knew
What I couldn't see it before is now clear
I wish I had the chance to show you
And I truly hope someday that I will
If you decide you need our love again
I will be right here waiting loving you still
TACTILE
By Frank Daub
Tactilis – the Ancients said.
“Capable of being touched” –
There is a heaviness in this word,
That awakens the soul – too much.
Of lost proximity, hand
Touching – hand?
Or
Love
reaching the empty space
Of an unresponsive land.
Ooooouuuuuu
Iiiiiii just wanna knowww if I’ve got your eyeesssss.
How do you feel about meeehhhhh
Ohh I’ve been waiting to see your faceeee
Just to seee
Do youuu do youuu really want this pressure
Do youu do youuu act like it’s pressing ya
Spent time in cali waiting for you to call me !
Im ashamedddd
When will be the next time we meettttt.
Couldn’t wait for that dayyyy
Oooooouuuu cause I can’t lie im starting to miss ya.
Got me thinking bout our ruminations .
All these other lies got me feeling so jaded.
Im tired of what they say hey !!!
Do youuu do youuu really want this pressure
Do youu do youuu act like it’s pressing ya
Spent time in cali waiting for you to call me !
Im ashamedddd
When will be the next time we meettttt.
Though my missing you has become a bit of a wistful feeling,
I still feel serene in recalling songs you always sing,
Contently knowing you have always been my soul's calling.
leave me to the lingering
leave you to the stringing me along
there goes my vacancy of interest,
i’m caving for you.
there goes my weightless breath
it’s collapsing my throat now
throughout my thoughts of you.
since you’ve taken leave
i’ve found it convenient to withdraw
from my tendencies to chase you,
so i’m holding back.
my fingers still symbolize yours when
my heat arises and when i get alone
because i can’t exist in darkness
without your face behind my eyes.
So sad the eye
That look upon another sunrise
That seems, a light, meaningless without you
For our love last outshined the brilliant sun
And all the lesser dimming shades we shun.
Our source bound as one
Continuous gleam of warming virtue
That blue-clad the golden sky—
But mortals die
And one day even I
Will fade from view.
The sun knowing only gloom
Exists beyond its sphere
Like the loneliness of this room
That calls you near
To comfort thro'
The night's despair—
Shades closed
Curtains drawn,
No moon
No stars
No dawn
I have this pain inside
One I'm unable to control
It's a longing for you
Radiating from deep in my soul
This being away from you
Fills me up with misery
I despise not being there
It takes a toll on you and me
This longing has become painful
It haunts me as if it's a ghost
I should be holding you
And that's what hurts the most
This isn't what we planned
Spending our marriage apart
And even though it's temporary
It doesn't ease the pain in my heart
For this pain to go away
Our time apart must end
Finally coming home to you
Will let our aching hearts mend
The familiar aroma of the
Spices of onions, garlic thyme,
basil, ginger, black peppers
and and cinnamon.
These are triggers in active
response to Mama's soup
This is my home coming.
Home sweet home.
(15th November 2015)
A song piqued my curiosity
I wonder what you are doing in Heaven today
Sometimes I feel you are so close
Other times you seem farther away
Farther away (I mean of the day you went away)
(I do also mean how far Heaven is away)
But mingled in each thought
Are the memories of which I fraught
In the places I pass remembering our walks and talks
Talks of everything under the sun
These thoughts come rushing in every time I go for a run
So, what are you doing in Heaven today?
Did you wake up late or did you get to sleep in?
Have you met and talked to anyone famous?
I have so many questions, where do I begin?
Are there flowers there, how about hours?
Are there colors and possibilities we’ve not seen?
Are the day-to-day happenings
Like the things we’ve seen on a movie screen?
Please know that I am doing okay
Even though Earthly life looks like a horror flick
I’ll keep trudging on in and with my reveries
Even so Lord Jesus come quick
You took your love away
I'm trying my best to hold on
I know that if I let you go
You will forever be gone
I cannot accept that scenario
A life without you next to me
Would be a life I couldn't live
A nightmare i never want to see
How could I even try to live
Without you being in my life
The only thing I did right in life
Was simply making you my wife
I know there has to be something
I don't want our marriage to end
I know your heart is broken now
And it will take time for it to mend
I love you with all my heart and soul
I'm tired of being the reason you cry
Please give me my last last chance
Before you say your last goodbye
Just take five with me.
Stop and breathe the cool night's air.
Slow down and touch me.
This is how you show me love
When you slow down arm-in-arm.
If I could meet you for one last time
I'd smile through the pain of losing you
As my tears start to fall, I'd look away
You're leaving, I understand you need to
I just need this last goodbye from you
This last memory of you I'll hold forever
I'll be a distant memory you never revisit
So I wish you the best in all you endeavor
My eyes would etch you forever into memory
Before you say nothing and quietly walk away
You head off in search of what lies ahead
as I do my best to live in our yesterday
No hug to say goodbye or a single word
Just a thick and heavy silence fills the air
I watch you walk away, praying you'll turn around
You don't even look back because you no longer care
As you depart and chase your happiness
My love I truly hope your future is bright
If I never love again I'll accept it gladly
I'll have you my last love every sleepless night.
Nothing happens - it’s good news
In the current Belle Epoque
One more day to be cut loose
Lost in walk and talk
Weather murmurs to be fine
Skies of postcard blue
With the white stripes are designed
Only there’s no you
And no me, apparently
Other people come and go
They are curious to see
The habitual summer show
Narrow passages and lanes
Lead them to the shore
Cause tomorrow there’ll be rains
And gale winds, for sure..
It’s set to be the heat today
As it was yesterday - I fathom
The God still takes us for a clay
Can’t tell one hot day from another
The ghost of you comes down but I
Can’t see if you are here
Though I can feel your loving smile
As if you are so near
As you once were in happy days
We nonchalantly spent
Maybe if I could see your face
I’ll be that ghost you met
In our lifetime’s recent past
Under your apple tree
We’ll meet again, revived from dust
Hot summer day it’ll be.
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