I used to be insane about decorating for Christmas, it was a breeze.
Santa, Mrs. Claus, Rudolph, Dasher and Dancer covered my house
Gingerbread bedding and toilet seats were blinking Christmas trees
had a Frosty the snowman light switch and a large nutcracker mouse.
One day an illness came to call, and I discovered how to live without.
I had to let some things slide, so Christmas decorating had to go.
Was not happy at first, had a huge fit and more than one big pout.
But being worn out has a way of changing priorities and so…..
I told my married daughters to swing by and take their pick.
One daughter refused to come, saying Christmas is not her thing.
But the other two filled up a minivan and pick-up truck real quick.
Christmas is in the heart, so the holiday still makes me want to sing.
But now I have a fiber optic blinking light Christmas tree I love.
She is not brought out merely on that week or even the month before.
She has been blinking in our living room for three years now.
A nightlight that reminds me daily of the Christ that I adore.
If you can't beat'em, run as fast as you can
No sense hanging around, hop in your minivan
If they follow on a cycle
A good disguise is vital
Pretend you don't speak English and scram
In middle school, I've never intended to be interested in anyone
the girls had claws the size of a minivan
it could extend to a couple feet to hundreds of feet in seconds.
The claws had a mind of it's own, they would grapple me
to drain my body or to rip me into shreds.
Blood would be everywhere, my screams would be internal
while the girl with the claws wouldn't even notice.
I never wanted this, neither did the girl, I got used to it after a while.
I'm sure you've all heard of a boomerang
What if it doesn't return to where it began
Thick as a brick
It's called a stick
So simple yet 9 out of 10 don't win the minivan
Body parts on a woman can sure excite a man
Simple things like slender legs can start his minivan
Other things help him react
Make him tremble in fact
Becomes incoherent and drools on his sedan
Three convenience store employees thought what they did was funny but I think it was cruel.
Those three people said that I won a thirty million dollar lottery and then yelled "April Fool".
They sold me a fake lottery ticket with the winning numbers.
They started laughing and said that a person couldn't be any dumber.
For a few minutes, they tricked me into thinking that I was a rich man.
I thought that I could drive a Rolls Royce and throw away my minivan.
When those idiots yelled "April Fool", all hell broke loose.
They thought it was funny and didn't expect such abuse.
I beat the hell out of all three of them and they made loud thuds when they fell.
I'm as poor as I ever was and now I will be spending the next year or two in jail.
I'm in a lot of trouble, I also broke some other things in addition to breaking the law.
When I repeatedly punched those convenience store clerks, I broke their ribs and jaws.
My obese mother-in-law just yelled "April Fool" after saying that she was going to pay my bail.
I just knocked her on her bloated butt so now I guess I'll be spending even more time in jail.
Camaro
Sleek, fast
Racing, flirting, streaking
Sexy, fine, cumbersome, chunky,
Plodding, plugging, inching,
Serviceable, dependable
Minivan
Etched in my heart
As well as the grave
Lies the heart of my old man
Whom I unfortunately could not save
It started off as a bond with my old man
Driving through the country road in our old minivan
We stopped along the track
As the light turned red
A bullet was fired
And I thought I was dead
A small crack emerged in the windshield
Equally shattered my heart couldn't yield
I saw my old man
Slumped in his seat
I cried out my eyes
Screaming why couldn't have it been me
I saw the killer whose smile couldn't hide
The evil satanist lust who stopped our ride
My father was my hero
but here he was slumped dead
My mind couldn't comprehend the one fatality crash
As a single drop of glass dropped on the dash
The allusion of life makes us stop
And rattle our fist as reality fires
Hopeless I am a mere month later
sitting in a jail for the revenge of my father
Justice came to him
but it also came for me
Tell God I said hello
As I'm hanging from a tree
If it wasn't for dear Mo, I'd be a lonely old man
Wandering aimlessly, kicking stones and garbage cans
She makes my whole day
When she wanders my way
With her cheerful words, fuel for my minivan
Car
Brand New
Minivan
Trimmed in Metal
Showing it off, can't wait to pay it off.
A First Date
They met at church and chatted for a while,
and the next day, he told her on the phone,
"I'd like to take you out to lunch in style
at that quaint restaurant that's so well-known."
Her first date since her darling hubby passed,
she almost told him no; but happily,
she said she'd be delighted. Then he asked
if she could meet him, and she did agree.
She showed up timely, with her minivan,
then waited at the table for an hour.
He went and waited too...a let-down man.
No show...he knew this first date had gone sour.
'Well-known and quaint'...the same place not for each!
Hearts eager...but their lunch date...out of reach!
Sandra M. Haight
~7th Place~
Premiere Contest: A First Date
Sponsor: Brenda Chiri
Judged: 02/14/2018
Theme: A first date and the most awkward time had...
not funny then, but so amusing!
Your white minivan isn’t much,
But it’s enough
To get us where we want to go
Or take us down some road we don’t even know.
I love taking car rides with you
And finding some good music to jam out to.
Even if we don’t know the song,
We still try to sing along.
It’s the perfect escape,
Even though the mirror could use a little bit of tape.
Being there with you makes my heart jump,
And same with every time we hit a bump.
You always have fun things in there
Like a soccer ball, a longboard, and some shades to wear.
In the back, there are no seats,
Just maybe a couple of sheets.
“Good for sitting on at the drive in,” you said.
I almost did drop dead
At the thought of us
At the drive in together with no fuss.
See, I love that little, beat-up old van.
I might even be its biggest fan.
4/8/17
Across the land
There was a man
Whose journey had just began
And due to a decision that was bad
He lost all that he ever had
While feeling his most prized plan
Slip through the palm of his hand
Faster than sand
He was briefly sad and mad
But then became glad
When he was able to understand
What was done wrong, and how he can
Reach the goal and help his clan
It wouldn't take a couple hundred grand
Or to be sponsored by a well known brand
Nearby a dam
His skills and knowledge started to expand
While starting to scan the entire span
Many insects scrammed
As well as a ram and a lamb
Above a stream filled with crab and clam
Far away parked in a lot was a sedan
And minivan
Nearby you could see an area full of water where many people swam
Whether they jumped in, walked or ran
Traffic jams
And braked being tapped or slammed
People only out to scam
With shams
Some content looking for gems and gold with or without a pan
And others only concerned with glam
Or famous people's and their own instagram
By:Dalton Ogletree
Sometimes I feel like a dirty old man
All I can think of is cuties when I scan
But I'm innocent by heck
Natural as breathing I suspect
Turning my crank and exposing my minivan
Baby birds tweet as their long skinny necks stretch towards blind faith. Somewhat frantically; newly born; next to dead; fragile existence; protected with life. Regurgitation from the same embodied mouth that an egg came from. Hidden from the world in a tree of life and chosen by the universe, without choice. Bound by instinct, life's purpose is to live. Feather light with a solid frame; wings for flight flap for unexplainable reason…; decomposers prey on the dead. Predators’ gifted with unmatched naked eye site; take life. Meaningless meanings that explanation is interrogated by; comparing this ability to fly with freedom. Arguing its merits as well; baby birds incubated from eggs rely on instinct…; unable to see with their eyelids stuck shut. Definitions define with answers…; created by a man. Facts become law. Acceptance leaves out the option of debate; born into this world with instincts and long necks…; only to rely on blind faith.
originally written in 2014 and edited today for contest
9-20-16
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