Long Whacked Poems

Doggerel II: Doggerel about Doggerel, or, More Nonsense Verse

The Board
by Michael R. Burch

Accessible rhyme is never good.
The penalty is understood:
soft titters from dark board rooms where
the businessmen paste on their hair
and, Walter Mitties, woo the...

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Once Upon a Time Everything was Perfect in Eden, NSW, Australia

This is a story about why snakes are reluctant to leave whenever you see them. 
Why they hang about, instead of scurrying off.
A reluctant snake...

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[Well, ShallowMan’s ne’er at a loss
for voicing shallow thoughts that gloss.
With trenchant wit he reaps the dross
when seeking sense in applesauce.

But to his aid flies FactoidMan
who always has a Fact at hand;
with him, who needs...

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In sandy Egypt lived three men
In ancient days when pharaohs reigned
The kingdom of the pyramids,
Osiris and that Isis’ den,
Whom everyone worships and heeds,
Or at least doing so they feigned,
And those gods too blessed them and...

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Fascism lives in tension with holy optimism,
as hatred fades in presence of mutual love,
as WinLose evolutionary models
give way to WinWin sacred Energy
stories and songs and dances,
as patriarchal colonization
gives way to matriarchal creolization.

Fascism,
synonymous with Totalitarianism,
as written...

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The Moon Also Rises
The Midwatch

Harry Mayer


The X.O.’s in the shower
and the Captain’s in his bed.
The Chiefs’ are playin’ poker
as we’re steamin’ to the Med.

“I’ll take that bet and raise you”
is what the Bo’sun says
from the...

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Grant this civil yankee to doodle till Lee gets blue in the face 

blowing 99 red balloons April 9th, 2023
will signal 158 years since Appomattox
plus what would have been ninety sixth birth 
of the late...

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Once upon a nightime grim
all creatures of Earth dreamed
our Mother was not enough for everyone,
just "me."

This collective nightmare thunderously rolled out
dark implications:

Earth is insufficient for our needs!

We live in Closed Systems of immunity,
heading toward decay!

EarthTribe...

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01001101 01111001  01010110 01010010

yeah ...
they hijacked my mind, man -
hard-wired my neural synapses
said I'd be famous ...
(wealthy, certainly)
With MY financial issues
what choice, really?
Family no longer cares -
they gave up on me ages ago
(who can...

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The frog king, enthroned on his stump in the swamp,
Throatily cheered the processional romp.

The dragonflies darted and buzzed overhead,
And kept at safe distance the pink tongue of dread.

A midge lay sobbing right there at his...

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Author's note: This is not intentionally a historical piece, dear readers, but I thought I should probably add a bit of background info primarily for the benefit of my more international friends and colleagues on...

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If ever I had to have a country victim of pedophily-LXXXV

(Note : Fresh disclosures from the Catholic Church on the subject
made public by protesting Mothers of infants victims of pedophily
at the hands of the Clergy...

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'Twas the night before the New Year. Gawd! All the beer had gone dry
Not a house or a tavern could renew our supply.
Was I too drunk to recall if what followed was fact?
While we drunks...

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Daylight Savings Time – March 13th,   2022

A long time graduate courtesy 
Hard Knocks alum,
once again yours truly 
posts reasonable rhyme 
about shortest day of the year.

Two o'clock Ante Meridiem 
nostri Jesu Christi 
hour...

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(Alternately titled always look on the bright side of life)

Armageddon wold be a morbidly amazing, 
   concluding (reign of Homo Sapiens)
   fascinating albeit simultaneously catastrophic boon
dog gull to accompany 

 ...

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blowing balloons signaling 158 years since Appomattox
(Alternately titled always look on the bright side of life)

Armageddon would be morbidly amazing,
   concluding (reign of Homo Sapiens)
   fascinating albeit simultaneously catastrophic boon
dog gull...

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A leopard found a shepherd who was looking after lambs
The shepherd had some sandwiches with different flavour jams
The leopard feeling peckish thought he’d steal one tiny sheep
So he snuck behind the shepherd and that’s when...

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2/23/18


On me you'd tittle tattle
Too often you told me fiddle-faddle
Now you're beginning to unravel
Can't even handle
Your own battle
And are being used an example
For what happens when you pull a scandal


You told me claptrap
It's time I...

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The man wore motley, so I whacked him...

Hello, my charming neighbor; 
How you grace me with your wit.
You’ve really got the spirit 
And I like your costume’s fit.
What’s that? No, I’ve had plenty. 
What I...

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Life these days is hard for any man
But not uncle Vinny, you see he’s in this gang,
He’s living a real good life
Got more money than the President and his wife,
With his fancy suits and his...

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~Under the Same Moon~

P.D.
Our days are different, living under the same moon
Down here in TEXAS, life carries a different tune
This world spins on its lovely axis
Listening to our Tex-Mex of our English lexis
We share a...

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He's packin' magic Viagra
Muse infused grooves set the mood
grab ya' and stab ya' 
we're opposites 
still we speak the same language 
teach and preach truth
every time I stop to see what he's droppin' 
my dang...

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Daylight Savings Time – March 8th,   2020

Two o'clock anno Domini nostri Jesu Christi 
hour hand clock sprung forward sixty minutes 
round about same of month every year, what a bum
er, an inconvenient truth...

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Remembering Mrs. Sully always makes my face break out into smiling mode.
Her face was as craggy as a grave, there was an aluminum tooth on the left.
When she smiled, it gleamed with pure happiness, making...

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So many trials seem to be filled up with so much fear
So many ask, “Oh Dear Lord, what am I doing here”?

So many questions that I have come to know
If we just plant a seed,...

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