Get Your Premium Membership

Roast of an UNNAMED Poet

He's packin' magic Viagra Muse infused grooves set the mood grab ya' and stab ya' we're opposites still we speak the same language teach and preach truth every time I stop to see what he's droppin' my dang pen commits sin, flips a lid ink pours, runs down the paper like Jill Abramson did the NY TIMES just in time verse transfers kinetic energy activating a semantic force field formulating symbiosis through synergy swimming in puddles of puns changing sans rays into rays of sun you can hear bums humming metonym hymns from the Twin Cities to Tuscan igniting a revolution of prostitutes and hooligans on hallucinogens to scoot loose from futons learn to earn and swim with loose Louis Vuitton boots on whacked out kids from Pakistan with crack in hand hear his pen and pack into Shaggin' Wagon vans to kick up sand and do their dance and just hold hands the whole globe huggin' like cousins uncovering hovering heteronomy mysteries evading lexicographers throughout centuries of history he's teaching wide eyed chicks to utilize polysemy by demonstrating thermal viscosity rates of his balls and prick my mental lexicon is spinning so I'm sinnin' then I'm grinnin' and grabbing inflatable girlfriends over for dinner then dessert to be followed immediately by frenzied poetic circle jerks I must admit the fabric of his hyperbole allegoristic-ally makes me wanna on·o·mat·o·poe·ia in my pants and break into a hyper pole dance! he's coordinating conjunctions box munching at the junction whole heartedly gets retarded with descriptive hard-ons vast array of play-on words for you ladies to chew on verse for verse inch for inch tit for tat this and that hot and heavy with romance enough to make a man wear a hard hat there inside the high rise under construction in the pants damn Mister (CENSORED), atta-boy! and though I'mma boy with no vagina, boy (you don't mind if I call you mister by design there boy?) Man, the images your tongue twisters send I must commend and admit if you had a different rear end... then WO'-man I might have to apprehend your ass with my ten inch night stick, oh hell, it's just past a hard seven, but who's countin' man? As you see poetry is a curse conjuring harmful words of demonic proportions reading your scriptures' depictions interrogatively tells me these inscriptions are precisely the prescription I need to erect the sword which could ultimately lead to seismic abortions...dang... Did I just type that?

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 7/30/2014 6:53:00 PM
the sexual innuendos make me chuckle - its sexy without being obscene Mr Roberto an an awesome write. Power to your mighty Pen mr R!!! Hugs Jan xxxx
Login to Reply
Date: 7/28/2014 2:34:00 PM
This is hilarious yet on point. I might apply it to a number of people I know, even myself. Great and enlightening read, Mr. ROBOTO !
Login to Reply
Date: 7/25/2014 4:40:00 PM
WOW, Impressive, one of the finest poets of Poetry Soup, and beyond. AND WOW! YES YOU JUST SAID THAT....lol... I've never seen you write a poem like this JSLambert, I wonder how he got your attention? I'm just saying..... Your poem rocks once again.... I love the curse.... Linda.
Login to Reply
Date: 7/24/2014 10:47:00 PM
Justin's work is amazing! Sensual but not obscene....Sexy, but not vulgar. Potent...Definitely. Sizzling...assuredly...Moving....undoubtedly. If this is an ODE as you claim it to be, then you couldn't have chosen a better more passionate person to write about. He is one talented writer...
Login to Reply
Mister ROBOTO Avatar
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
Date: 7/25/2014 6:57:00 AM
I very much hope by reading this poem, it is very crystal CLEAR that it is indeed a special tribute to a mega-talented writer! In no way is this a negative roast at all. I dream of having a vocabulary as extensive as Justin's. He's the man! If it comes off as an insult, slam, or rip, please read it again, and slowly:)
Date: 7/24/2014 8:10:00 PM
good heavens, methinks I see a man crush here, not a roast!! hahaha. I don't know why you say you are opposites. yOu guys seem a lot the same to me. Anyway, this is pretty cool. I especially liked that stanza with on·o·mat·o·poe·ia in my pants and break into a hyper pole dance! Sometimes you sure come up with some fun stuff!! I enjoyed your pun on my "uplifting" jar of face cream. It's simply "Divine."
Login to Reply
Mister ROBOTO Avatar
JSLambert Mister ROBOTO
Date: 7/25/2014 7:48:00 AM
Man CRUSH ALL DAY> You got me":)
Date: 7/23/2014 10:32:00 PM
Fantastic ode to a awesome poet on here! Thanks for sharing. It was really entertaining to read! : ) I read your comments on his poem Mistress Fire and It made me laugh so hard. He really deserved this dedication. Awesome work once again. : ) "wanna on·o·mat·o·poe·ia in my pants and break into a hyper pole dance!" too hilarious!! Always, Laura
Login to Reply