Long Waddled Poems

Geese, Goslings and the Bridge

Sometimes, when you least expect it, Mother Nature makes a u-turn and draws you into the ridiculous.  Such was the time recently as I was returning from a friend’s home...

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In a universe far far away
There lived a penguin, whose thoughts did weigh
Heavily on his mind.
He thought of a vast array of things big and small
But there was one facet he thought of most of...

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Bob had a special talent
That only worked in his men’s store.
He had ‘clothing ESP’.
He knew what his customers wanted…and more.

When customer would come into his store
Bob would invariably say, 
“Hello. I'm Bob. Don’t say a...

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I went out with some guys for lunch
we ate all we could find.

We ate like we were starving
and I must have lost my mind;

I had a salad with bleu cheese
and ordered extra fries,

I ate a...

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There once was a ghost who loved the post 
He enjoyed the thrill of the periodicals fill 
Turning each page of the paper 
Geared to those who picked up an honest wage as waiters. 
There...

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A man walked into a bar one night,
he was with a bear and an elephant
and they looked like they were spoiling for a fight

'Anyone got a problem with us?'

The man asked, 
knowing, of course 
no...

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As a child, a happy baby boy or daddys pretty little girl you were always so eager to move forward,
you moved, crawled, waddled,even rolled all before you could even say a word,
from the time you...

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Pt. 2
 with her a tray of stack flapjacks, crisp bacon, and a foam cup filled to the rim with apple juice.  I remember that she came once before, and I was glad to...

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Did you hear about the moose, who thought he was a goose? He swam and he honked and even waddled when he walked. But it would make you cry, if you had seen it with...

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The feet of twenty cousins were trampling and pounding the floor
As my Aunt Pearl's house trembled and suddenly became smaller.
We were racing with the games of 'who could find who' behind the door
While munchkin toddlers...

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O young Lochinvar is come out of the west,
Through all the wide Country this guy they detest,
And save armpit noises he talent had none,
He thought they were funny and thought they were fun.
He thought that...

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Plumpyflumpy  was a sort of hippo/giraffe
Its rump was huge like a hippo
With a neck sooooooo long, that’s where the raffe bit was.

Plumpy loved to wallow in a muddy pool
oops I forgot to say that...

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THE PRINCESS AND THE SWAN

As the storm raged, there were several knocks on the door,
She stood the completely drenched, from her head down to the floor.
This stunning princess was looking for somewhere to stay
Her name...

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My pet duck Stanley, boy what a pet is he
They say in a cave his echo, won’t come back to me
Now Stanley is not just a duck, he is special through and through
I am sure...

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A Night On The Town

While searching for a book, one that I hadn’t yet read
I stumbled upon a critter and this is what he said:

Although the library is quite cozy and nice;
Could you fancy a...

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A phone call was all that’s needed and the message it was clear;
“Get your bum away from home and bring your family here.
And don’t forget your fishing rods; the bream are on the bite.
I know...

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Sunderland N for Nuts 461 Squadron
Sunderland fought alone the Battle Of Biscay in.1943
Big old seaplane Sunderland, fought in the Battle Of Biscay
Had 4 engines, would she float, would German cannon make her pay?
Aussies put in...

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You stank, and  poo was once revealed when pants were pulled in playing field. Hard round briquettes, quite dry, like dung with straw sun-hard and undigested. 

All kinds of unkind taunts and silly songs...

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In the dirty hands of poverty,
 Scavengers of the Republic of Enlightenment
 Quench their thirst under the eyelids of the proletarians.
 A sinecure of hard drugs
 To silence the lamentations of these birds of ill...

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Let me tell you a story
From a time gone by
The tale of a greedy butcher
And a pig that could fly

In the little village of Piddle Brook
There lived a butcher named Mr.Ham
He was bearded, bulky, and...

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The Nest

I first saw the hen as she flew
Up to the raised bed in front of the school.
I thought it was odd she was there,
With so much activity at the entrance.

The second time I saw...

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In the whimsical woods where the wind whirls wild, 
Lived Benjamin the Bear, a creature quite mild. 
With a belly that bounced as he waddled through trees, 
He was a bundle of joy, blowing bubbles...

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The whittled worries and fears shred my nerves like ants on glass, sparkling red. I notice and bow to the glitterati in their fine silks and cuts of cloth because they pay my wages; they...

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Time waddled down the street carrying the elements underneath its feet, it can barely keep its balance on the ground, everywhere it goes it is greeted with a frown and  gravity is bouncing them...

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The Legend of Gusty Brown

This is the legend of Gusty Brown
And all the beans that he could down
He and his steed ate beans by the pail
Together they issued an odorous gale

A Wild West crack-shot of...

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