Ham Versus Hog

Let me tell you a story From a time gone by The tale of a greedy butcher And a pig that could fly In the little village of Piddle Brook There lived a butcher named Mr.Ham He was bearded, bulky, and a belcher And was rumored to eat his own toe jam A lover of all meat Pork,beef,duck,chicken, and mutton All this gorger did was eat He was a professional glutton But Mr.Ham’s appetite was not satisfied He longed for some thick greasy bacon Just a few strips, nicely fried Served with pickled daikon He peeked through his window And with one beady eye Spotted his neighbors hog And pictured a flaky pork pie His mouth watered "What a delicious midnight snack!" "I will barbecue,braise and fry her" "But first I will launch my attack" "Oh but I shan’t become a thief!" "T’was only a whim!" But Mr.Ham’s thin scruples vanished His growling belly got the better of him He grabbed a pitchfork And the hefty hooligan set out He advanced on the sleeping hog And grabbed her by the snout Her piggy eyes shot open And in a flash She darted past the butcher And ran past the fence in a dash Mr.Ham bellowed in rage And waddled after the beast But the pig was too quick Yet Mr.Ham never ceased And so the chase continued A wild game of cat and mouse They ran through the streets Row upon row,house after house Finally the swine was cornered The escaped pig let out a squeal And great feathery wings sprouted from her back Said the pig “Thou shalt not steal” And with one final snort Two leaps and a hop The winged sow flew away And Mr. Ham collapsed with a plop "I suppose it was a sign from above" Mr.Ham sighed with defeat From then on the rotund carnivore Gave up on eating meat