Long Vaseline Poems

It is so hard to let go of love,
lovingly.

It sharks, 
unpeels more gut more quickly
than reel or reeler ever lost
in all those years of lazy inches
in and out:
casting,
winding in and playing out,
hardly fishing, rarely catching
anything
from...

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Ace colonoscopy doctor Kellen Karl Kovalovich

revisited January 23rd, 2024
on the evening before yours truly
(the one and only Matthew Scott Harris),
a stand up comic wannabe, who
historically heartily hales 
from Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
undergoes oh joy rapture colonoscopy.

Three days...

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Most of you, I don’t suppose, devote a lot of time to wond’ring ‘bout your death, but, now and then, 
I begin imagining some pretty strange scenarios.   Of course I’m going to die,...

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“The songs are casual and careless in a satisfying way, like the used condom your latest lover left lying on your bedroom floor, a souvenir you’re not yet ready to dispose of.” Candy Cotton, Modern...

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"Understood"




My feet stand solemn
grounded they're barefoot 
sinking in the undertow,
feeling what’s real

my toes grip the past

while the slow words 
wash it irrevocably away 
the ego sashays
and hangs that Faust in the wardrobe

Locks it away
turns the...

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• By daniel miltz •


You're not born with cool, you've got to find it. A leather jacket that fits like a glove knows it. Cool is an act. Cool is by learning to stand out...

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the serene people whose ease of manner
once made him yearn and confabulate
are laughable cartoonish and piteous now
could have been much worse he said
as his last breath left his scarred throat
feral hand closing his own eyes
St....

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You’ve become a wicked ale to swallow

I like my brews nice and cold

And most of all bitter

But you’re too sinister

You’re killing our brothers and sisters

 

You’re neglecting our cries

 

We must stutter

Or maybe our cries...

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"Ennui Sets In”

Whenever pen is placed
Between purloined phalanges,
When my mind unfolds and tears along the seams,
I know it’s time to move my thoughts,
Through the underground;
That dark crusty void
Of dreary dreams diminished,
Where loose hell raisers floss...

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Chronicles of a long Distant Race

I arrive amidst all the chatter and confusion
that seems to haunt all pre-race activities,
friend greeting friend,
club member greets fellow member,
New shoes, shorts and shirts being shown emulously.
Profusions of Vaseline used...

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President's Day is approaching so I thought I would further your education,
By revealing useless trivia about some of the dudes who've served our nation.

President Washington actually had to borrow money to get to his inauguration.
He...

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6 a.m

It is time to wake- 
After being bludgeoned by sleep.
A quick brush 
And a quick wash
Off to the bus-stop in a quick rush.

It’s another day 
To work for a pay
Loose soap lather-
Sticking senselessly by...

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Adagio in One Time

From the smooth plastered wall behind her,
Albinoni’s adagio drummed faintly like a heartbeat.
‘Who are you’, when startled awake by the touch of his hand,
were the first words she spoke.

A stained and tattered...

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Her name was Ethel....(yes, like the gasoline)
She smelled of menthol...(much like Vick's Vaseline)
A long time neighbor, from down the lane
She was married twice...(or was it thrice?)...
A widowed lady, we knew her well

A bit disgruntled, and...

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Ooh...this... just an amazing grace note
     recalling how I felt like an ass
and wanna toot 'bout me getting steered
     (as a heavy metal kid Rocker)

  ...

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"Phenomonology"

time drips through
the lens of philosophy 
phenomonology melts
the solid realisation;
was all that time 
spent inconsequential, 
the purpose of it all
bought abruptly, 
for an expected cost
(for this annal
somewhere soft 
and vaseline-lensed, 
we anticipate, it is never
an...

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Our naughty crafts in sex workshop
are all placed under a constant rewind.
Your accurate curves and warm planes
covered in moisture like a soul’s Vaseline
is an awesome park for the leisure of my lust.
Hormones from both ends,
acting...

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Disappointed Tina

Tina was  mad, 
 
thought  she gotten a lad	

that would fulfill her dreams

 turning whispers into screams   

First night in bed under the spread

there was nothing there to grab

That’s when...

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I'm allergic to sugar which helps me keep slim
If I eat too much, congestion makes me grim

Never bought lipstick, my lips are naturally dark red
People think I'm wearing when Vaseline on them I spread 

I...

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You get me up each morning in addition to the Lord, 
I'm grateful that I have you but it's time to even score,

without you I'd be sleeping down on someone's 
hardwood floor, but f* you,...

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Beady black-eyed bird perched in the bush
outside my window cocking his head
from side to side eying the squirrel-proof
feeder that is coated thickly with a layer of
Vaseline not to keep the squirrels away but
to keep the...

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can you imagine my disappointment...I believed her
...she might of been the one...that one woman 
that has eluded me my whole lifetime...but...
...she...she was...

she was just blowing smoke up my ass...

story of my life...it's just never right...so many...

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He don tey
Ma guy he don tey
Wey monkey dey work 
And baboon dey talk
Chai! No be today.

Make I tanda
Gidigba like Balogun Thunder
Drop some verse like vaseline
Put ugwu meta
And land ponmo like four
Untop dis mata.

No be...

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The alarm clock sang out, my dad jumps up 
rushes me into the kitchen, today my love 
is indeed, a very special day for you, my eyes 
wide shut, as he continued, explaining civil rights
...

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Now my skin issue sags and has bags and droops.  
Aging skin, I smile, frown, ignore and pay way too much attention to my own 
aging and skin sends up the flares.  
"You're...

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