Long Vac Poems

Once pawn a time...

About four plus weeks after
frazzling fiasco from friggin fraudsters
white knight still mourns swindled money
Lynne Costello Senior Civil Investigator
(assistant to Philadelphia attorney general)
unable to recoup forfeited funds.

While holed up in castle keep,
(albeit fetchodit...

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the sky erupts monsters
sky erupts monsters forming
erupts monsters forming wreaking
monsters forming wreaking havoc
forming wreaking havoc shattering
wreaking havoc shattering serenity
havoc shattering serenity bolts
shattering serenity bolts of
serenity bolts of hell
bolts of hell deluge
of hell deluge descending
hell deluge...

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There is something amiss with that VACUUM CLEANER.
As if it didn't know, from floor to cup, the debris and dust must go.
It's ailing from something peculiar, but I don't know exactly what.   ...

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Mine gerund farming, tilling, and harvesting illogical weltanschauung

Twas accursed destiny
since birth (maybe coded in
deoxyribonucleic acid  
since time immemorial) alas and alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,
one common Joe biden his time
for no particular
rhyme...

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tweaked to pass inspection broadcast on the double
(alternately titled snafu: ma bell heave hubble
vehicular repairs (prohibitive)
finds me bleary eyed stupefied
and countenance grizzled with prickly stubble
collapsed amidst virtual rubble).

Best sung courtesy rotten dull liver:red worst
after words...

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Why is God a Man?

Being a menopausal woman really sucks. At night, it’s like having a wrestler in bed with you 
without the sex. When you flash you wrestle the covers off because you feel...

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(alternately titled: ma bell heave hubble
vehicular repairs (prohibitive) 
finds me bleary eyed stupefied 
and countenance grizzled with prickly stubble 
collapsed amidst virtual rubble).

Best sung courtesy rotten dull liver:red worst
after words which, I gotta quench mine...

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And ignoble prize trumpeting hubris awarded to...

Bourgeoisie donning ersatz
overstuffed ego freezer bewigged pate
"FAKE" grotesque humanitarian
bribed corrupt judges will vindicate
jimmied cracked corn
land of "milk and honey"

red hot button he spoils to activate
countdown to Armageddon
leaving nation prostrate,
all...

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(not that ye wondered, 
but simply tubby like totally tubularly clear
The Epic of Gilgamesh will not be extolled here).

Though thoroughly well mapped, parsed,
     scrutinized vibrant wonders zoom
plethora, sans newly discovered life...

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Verizon router won't connect to internet blues
(alternately titled: ma bell heave hubble
telecommunications gone south).

Best sung courtesy rotten dull liver:red worst
after words which, I gotta quench mine thirst
whereby think Botox lips zipped and pursed
hence impossible linkedin...

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Twas accursed destiny
     since birth alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,

     viz zit ting older sibling counterattack
thirteen plus chronological gap
    eldest sister struck...

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Across the sea in a far off land,
Hunkered down in a bombed out farmhouse, a soldier makes his final stand.
Seriously wounded, but no fear does he show,
As the enemy approaches, he’s locked and loaded and...

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“What’s going on, what’s next?”
(Medi-Vac on the way, keep pumping!)
A faint roar and whop-whop-whop-whop
(No not there! The south-bound lane! Over...)

The median grass was newly cut but still tall
(Lean over him so the grass won’t get...

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Do You know who You are
In Christ...

Who are You?
Do You know?
Who YOU Are??

You are the Child of Our King
You are Important..
To Him and me...

You yes... YOU
You are Beautiful
You are Precious
You are PriceLess
You belong to Jesus

Jesus...

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The vac cleaner's union
          had an annual meet
Electrolux and Oreck,
          and a Bissell and such
And invited one...

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1.Oh pitiful 
faintest of 
smiles 
seized by 
the night's 
weapon
2.In his 
fattest 
times he 
enchants 
from his 
dead 
memory 
the songs 
of Babel's 
lexicon
3.Finds for 
himself a 
better 
niche in 
the beach 
where his 
permeable...

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Sea level rises... glaciers gradually melt
Global temperature is climbing the cliff.. Beware 
But hey, G H gases don't exist.. Global warming is a myth

Throw everywhere in the streets, plastic and filth
Eat, and just leave disposal...

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Well you know me
I’ve never been one to nosey
But I just happen to be stood by the window
Behind the net curtains
With a pair of binoculars in my hand
I heard a lot of noise from number...

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It's you again? I am surprised
To see you back so soon.
You said you had so much to do
And it is barely noon.
"Pies don't bake themselves," I've heard you say,
"And brooms don't groom a room.
Without a...

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There's a spider on my ceiling
He's been sitting there all night
From the moment that I spotted him
He gave me quite a fright.

Even at the long off distance 
He appears to be quite big
I've never really...

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NEIGHBORS GRASS- 

I have a neighbor who’s a man’s man;
He has every tool; 
he needs in his garage and shed;
He has a lawn vac
A regular lawn mower
A leaf blower
A snow blower

He has a riding lawn...

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