Kirby's Convention
The vac cleaner's union
had an annual meet
Electrolux and Oreck,
and a Bissell and such
And invited one old Kirby
for a rare vacuum treat:
To talk, (tho' they really
didn't like him much) ...
That rusty old Kirby
had a lesson to teach
To all the new vacuum
cleaners on the line
But he wasn't sure he
had the air to reach
The shiny-nice Dysons,
that looked so fine ...
He sputtered and choked
and spun his tires
And his worn HEPA filter
had started to sag ...
They mocked his pace
and his twisted wires
And laughed at his grip
and his wrinkled bag ...
Yet he stood up tall like
a good Kirby should
And cleaning his way
up that ramp to speak
Worried his message
might not be very good
For his worn, limp hose
had a sad, sorry leak ...
Still ...
The old vacuum cleaner
then addressed his own
Battered and beaten,
and down on his luck
“I'm headed to that rug
in the great unknown ...
So please carry on -
'cuz you really do suck!"
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