Long Untrusted Poems

My gay white boyhood
struggled with the theological problem
of personally appreciating heterosexual superiority 
sacred stories
and multiply mistranslated word-choices
of Jesus Christ

Within a Christian
monotheistic
evangelically triumphalist doctrine.

This personal mindbody intimacy problem
may be iconic
unveiling my transparent
and vulnerable Savior's distancing 
of...

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They act like a mate 
but their fake 
never give 
but take
Always running late 
expecting you to wait 
it’s never their mistake 
excuses that they make 

Quick to pass the blame 
a stain upon your...

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Dedicated to a disorder I call as my own: It's called the OopsieDoosie haha (: 

Guiltiness leaves me numb and dumb
Addictions fade and addictions cumb 
I just don’t know why I’m so brainwashed
By the technology...

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Seroquel made me sleep and gain weight,
 Abilify constantly made me pace,
 But Paxil made me lose my cool,
 Plus talk too much like a fool,
 And Geodon gave me insomnia of late...

So either fattened...

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To paraphrase George Lakoff, and maybe Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi,
and maybe Julian Jaynes,
and possibly Gregory Bateson,
and Laura Brown,
and then there was...

Nurturing empathy is the only doorway through healthy effective
LeftBrain Deductive and RightBrain Inductive
nondual co-arising communication,
whether the message...

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Day and night,
I think about the truth,
Behind those hidden curtains,
Trying hard to understand,
How He thinks and do things,
Why is that that our mind so small,
Its hard for us to think beyond? 
Why did He made...

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It's came the day that I must leave now




In loving times,  when our hearts were paired
Life was great,  in the feelings between us shared. 
Our relationship flourished,  And contentment grew
In each other...

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In loving times,  when our hearts were paired
Life was great,  in the feelings between us shared. 
Our relationship flourished,  And contentment grew
In each other we trusted,  in the years love did...

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MY SIBLINGS' FATHER
         JUDGE BURDON 


other children feared monsters under their bed
i feared the one living under our roof.
his hair was nimbus black 
with a storm's thunder...

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Sensibilities shaped and slapped and stolen.   (aha)
I am indeed a borrowed man.
For where amongst my stirrings stand
priori grand?

Mission thwarted by a bell.
Noble tell.
Some soul such as mine
even, ever thus, declined.

Brokered deal appealed
in youthful...

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What senseless things we oft times say, when love has softened and caressed the way

Wise words sound as folly and falderal ,Gibberish N' hoopla,untrusted words spoken by trusted souls.

Not father nor  brother not friend...

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THE PROVIDENCE OF MANKIND
            BEYOND THE NIGHTS THE DREAMS
          OF PEOPLE WHO SEEK IN ADVENTURE
...

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You can be anyone you want
By your fingertips typin 
All you are doing is
Sailing false advertisement

You can say the right things
Typing confidently to sway 
The reader of your words 
Mess with their minds you play

They...

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Hearts like ours will cross our silent yearning
and dance with lonely wishes and dreams
to find the longing realm of love

Like vagabonds, we will dance on empty streets
of false contentment and illusion...until 
Love finds us worthy...

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I sauntered out of an Irish Pub
Basted in booze and Irish smooze
The whiskeys sure didn’t cover the blues
Me, I knew this wasn’t good news

As a crossed the street
I met a bus, Full of nuns, all...

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As i Knew
The butterfly flew
Someone or something is new
On one's eye view

As the shimmering Light
On the darkest night
If you might
Nothing in sight

As even if you are
Sit as Tsar
Twinkling like a star
Waiting By the car

Aren't making...

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Pandemic

Deaths gaining power on a mission to devour,
Negative encounters. Chrysanthemum flowers.
Deaths dangerous, not slowing but growing,
The momentums mind blowing,
constantly going.


Death is mysterious, hooded, cold blooded.
Untrusted, never obstructed, working uninterrupted.
Cloak of black, megalomaniac,
never looking back
insomniac.


Death sees...

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saddens me now that I lost your trust 
How can we move on from here? 
I tell you I love you 
and u think its for another my dear
breaks my heart because I don't know...

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Being used…feeling helpless.
Being fake …feeling inadequate.
Being fat…feeling unmotivated.
Feeling letdown… being misunderstood.
Being taunted…feeling angry.
Being anorexic… feeling worthless.
Being gay…feeling emotions.
Feeling useless…being ignored.
Being alone…feeling neglected.
Being laughed at… feeling frustrated.
Being quiet…feeling small.
Feeling useless… being untrusted.
Being ugly…feeling separate.
Being abused…feeling challenged.
Being...

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What's love if not a thunder which burns you to the ground, 
a roar of bear nowhere, 
a taxi to the underground, 
to the underworld, 
a senseless sound which binds you, 
binds you to trust...

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Of what good is a lie, not much for sure.
While it may help a little, it destroys much more.

When you tell an untruth you tell more than a lie.
When the truth is found out as...

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No powerhouse or wondrous treasure house,
This would-be store with walls of muddied glass,
With recall indistinct and fading fast,
Untrusted, shifting, merciless impasse,
Where splintered life is mocked and alien hope
Seeks solace in soft-spoken thought, which caught
Upon the...

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