Hell

I sauntered out of an Irish Pub
Basted in booze and Irish smooze
The whiskeys sure didn’t cover the blues
Me, I knew this wasn’t good news

As a crossed the street
I met a bus, Full of nuns, all in a fuss
There was no contest, the bus sure won
I was run over and ready for a place with no sun

I arrived in hell, this surly no surprise
At least I was drunk, or so Satan surmised
He looked confused and asked who am I?
A Lawyer? a Dictator? or maybe I was both?

I apologized profusely for I surely was not
Any of those professions, I'm no in their lot
He asked if I was expecting 72 virgins?
As drunk as I was, I said I was not

He was angry and mad, there was doubt
What could the Devil do? He seemed in a stew
So he gave me a degree, in Law and Justice
So I could live in hell among all the others untrusted!

Notes: No Lawyers were hurt or maimed in the writing of this poem, and I apologize for that!

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Christine Costello

Date: 8/31/2014 11:01:00 PM

Arthur i love the entire poem but especially the note at the end. LOL- chuckle, chuckle. :-) Christine

Arthur Vaso
Date: 9/1/2014 10:24:00 AM

Thank you very much!!!

Tim Smith

Date: 8/6/2014 7:06:00 PM

When I die I hope I'm in heaven 30 minutes before the devil knows I'm dead

Arthur Vaso
Date: 8/6/2014 7:13:00 PM

Hope we meet at the Bar! Cheers

Lucilla Carrillo

Date: 8/6/2014 3:00:00 PM

This is a good one. It has been said that very few of those people make it to heaven. Have you ever heard of the Fix it Lawyers? They never try a case in court - they fix it. Have a great day... Lucilla

Arthur Vaso
Date: 8/6/2014 7:12:00 PM

Thanks Lucilla, Hope you are doing well!

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 8/4/2014 12:35:00 PM

Unfortunately 98% of lawyers give the other 2% bad name. This was a lot of fun!

Arthur Vaso
Date: 8/6/2014 7:13:00 PM

Thanks Richard, and I believe the correct number is 99%, but you are always so kind!!!! :)

Harry Horsman

Date: 8/4/2014 10:30:00 AM

you make a point, Arthur, one that is needed...love the theme, and the way you bring it all together...

Arthur Vaso
Date: 8/6/2014 7:11:00 PM

Thanks Harry, was poking some fun, I am sure they not all bad! ( Did I just say that?)

Robert Nehls

Date: 8/1/2014 5:57:00 PM

Wow! Arthur. Lot of stuff going on in this one. A lawyer, a dictator, and the 72 virgins was a great reference. So you are apologizing because no lawyers were hurt? You, my friend are a funny man, and I enjoyed this one.... Robert.

John Lawless

Date: 7/29/2014 11:05:00 PM

Arthur, a true Irishman would have talked the devil into buying the next round. i had a good laugh at the disclaimer at the end of the poem.

Arthur Vaso
Date: 8/6/2014 7:08:00 PM

LOL So true John, I will take not of that!!!!

Arthur Vaso
Date: 8/6/2014 7:06:00 PM

Thanks Mystic hope you having a great summer!!!

Paul Callus

Date: 7/29/2014 7:57:00 AM

Enjoyed this witty write, Arthur; have you been able to count all the lawyers yet, or is the place/number too big?! // paul

Arthur Vaso
Date: 8/6/2014 7:06:00 PM

They haven't made a computer strong enough yet to count that high!!!! LOL Thanks Paul

Casarah Nance

Date: 7/29/2014 7:46:00 AM

Funny! :) you got a strange sense of humor, but I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame. :) xxx

Arthur Vaso
Date: 8/6/2014 7:05:00 PM

In this case, I have to disagree, I mean really, have you ever met a nice Lawyer? They say a honest lawyer is a lot like a UFO, you hear a lot about them but you never actually get to see one! LOL