Long Twits Poems

Reducing sauces is a clever act that is not predetermined

Swimming in tepid waters often relieves tensions but a moose with a migraine prefers an ice cold bath. Bathing rituals signify statuses and this is referred...

Read More

Nine times a fish tail is spun from thin yarn?

Swimming in tepid waters often relieves tensions but a moose with a migraine prefers an ice cold bath. Bathing rituals signify statuses and this is referred...

Read More

An Ode to The Eagle & The Dove

As I look in Eagles eyes,
As they scan what lies ahead.
He stands a strong guard,
Knowing others have bled,

Many died, doing this,
This standing the guard
The Dove thinks it’s easy
While...

Read More

I’m with you,
I’m without when not.

That’s how much you’ve become.
Plastered fabric enmeshed into me.
Like drywall, yet to crack, but firm and white.

Bare bones make us who we are.
I can feel yours now, I think.

The way...

Read More

Written: September 19, 2023
Mocking The Dead Poetry Contest           Sponsored by: Silent One 
"Do not be afraid of death. Death transforms to something wider. Death is...

Read More

Get up and at ‘em be strong,
feeling I am reborn,
coming back and full on
like an atom bomb!

Expose their corruption 
my life saw disruption 
I’m putting right the wrong
from where I left off,
unsighted and lost,
but I’ve...

Read More

I met a little fellow; at the local shelter;
I inquired as to the where-when-and hows;
That were required to adopt him.
   Having demonstrated my ability to provide shelter;
  And income necessary to feed...

Read More

You hear it on the TV these days,
and sadly in the classroom,
fools running down America,
proclaiming that we deserve doom.
Ignoring that all their rantings
in other lands would get them shot,
so determined to play victim
they’re all forgotten...

Read More

Give up, WHORELOCK, before you fall too far behind.
It is clear that the victory will always be mine!

The way in which you approach "slam" is unlawful.
Your "slams are 'god-like'?!" More like god-aweful!

You keep saying the...

Read More

What life was like when you appeared
can be recalled with ease.
Lord God was cool and had a beard.
And birds made love to bees.

When you grew up, no tweets by twits
besmirched the daily news.
There were no...

Read More

The King of Kegs

He was the town drunk, that
everyone loved.
Didn't care about being arrested
nor his children going food less.
But at the bar, oh such a big hit.
Always knew tons of jokes, he
was the King of...

Read More

Parisians  
Paris is often on my mind, she was a pianist in an unfashionable 
night-club had a smoky voice- at least 40 a day- she looked like
a night without sex was a paltry end...

Read More

I am applying for the consultant position
of Office Manager for which I will audition.
I am undeniably qualified to deal with nitwits
and idiots I will immediately classify as 'twits.'

My solution to deal with those people is...

Read More

There’s a forest bizarre neither nearby nor far,
full of sights somewhat scary to spook a soul wary.
The deep, darkened jungle, I think you’ll agree 
is never a safe place for you or for me...

The vicious...

Read More

(To be sung to the tune of “Alouette”)

Obfuscation, we like obfuscation
Obfuscation, the game we like to play
When you muddle and confuse, then you simply cannot lose,
Complicate, obfuscate, 
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Obfuscation, we like obfuscation
Obfuscation, the...

Read More

~Tribute to A Leader~


        High above Mount Rushmore,
        a man with courage flies.
        His...

Read More

Welcome to the f*** it bucket 
With digital pigs 
Slopping thru the binary trough 
Choking it all down with a cough
Yum yum yum 
How boring and glum 
Safe and easy to be dumb 
Can’t be...

Read More

Too much temptation
Blocking my road to redemption
The devil is good at what he does 
Offering a variety of ways 
To get your buzz
be it the vein or the liver 
satan is one generous giver 
the...

Read More

Across the war torn atrophy,
A decomposing cracked corpse,
Shakes and splits in the sovereignty,
Of the rounded Earth which warps.

Annihilated by the angst of grouped race:
A false duplicitous spell,
Cast by the convention of crooked space,
Filled by the...

Read More

past knoxville and idaho city there are a pair of adorable nitwits.
townspeople refer to them as kooky oddballs, a couple of twits.
their name is easy to  learn. she is backward ditz; he is fritz.
brown...

Read More

I’m fascinated by the show 
I don’t understand it 
But, I am entertained 
It’s truly a circus to behold 
To watch the clueless and the bold 
Battle it out in a game of wits 
A...

Read More

Watching t.v. makes me laugh sometimes
The things people said
"What do you expect for $ 26 a month?"
about a house in some countries 
- a room actually
Yeah what do you expect?
The way he said it was...

Read More

Jelly bean warships judiciously cheering for the enemy?
The old timers do not understand this unnaturalness.
“It is an inescapable truth today,” Sgt. Mars Bar told them.
“We are all about preserving the rights of everyone else.”

Some tittering...

Read More

Merry Wulfman!
Santa Snickers
Jingle Jugs, and
Rudolph's knickers

Happy Crackers
Mistle twits
Porky pudding
Snicklefritz

Frosty gnomes
Disgusting tarts
Home Sweet Cheeks
and Uncle Farts

Happy New Tweets
Merry Tickles
Santa Jack says,
Pass the pickles....



5.  Turkey, cake
      & Mull Cider
  ...

Read More

I became aware of you well over a decade ago.
Every moment of every day I swept you away.
Lo and Behold, I put my own day into dismay.
I ‘m buried in the core of you, and...

Read More