Long Ranch Poems
Long Ranch Poems. Below are the most popular long Ranch by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Ranch poems by poem length and keyword.
...McClors rode up, and smiled quite thin,
He said,”Woman, get away from him!
You come with me now, and it will suffice.
You play more of these games, and you’ll get the knife.”
“See I’m in no mood for dumb girlish stunts—”
A blast roared out, and McClors gave a grunt.
From the back of his horse the villain did flop,
His chest torn apart from a load of buckshot.
Adam he turned while all sat there stunned,
And found the three lackies with his scatter-gun.
The horses they stomped, the lackies they blustered
Stupidly bunched in one great, big cluster.
The other barrel it was already cocked,
And Adams laid waste to the thugs with one shot!
Two died right quick, and the third man moaned,
Trapped underneath his dead mangled roan.
Adams stalked up, stared down at the man,
He said,”Listen up now, or forever be damned.
It seems strange to say it, amdist this strife,
But I’ve decided to make this woman will my wife.”
“So I’ll let you live, and run back to the town,
And tell all the people the way things are now.
This woman right here none shall disrespect,
And if I see you back here, I’ll stretch your damn neck!”
The lackie he stumbled and faltered away
Miriam had no words, nothing she could say.
Adam nodded. “I’d accept your offer,
But I think there’s a better one that I can proffer.”
“If you don’t mind a killer for a husband,
Than you and I will go to Reverend Dan,
Cause I still have a few good kith and good kin
Who wouldn’t approve of us living in sin.”
And so they went down, and so they were wed
And raced to his home, barely making it to the bed.
The mayor later stopped by, still half-rattled with fear,
And said “ ’twas all self-defense! It’s perfectly clear.”
Now Kline he lucked out with his newfound bride,
She gave him seven kids, their joy and their pride.
And as they years went by, their pasts they did fade,
Both found some peace in the life they had made.
Though still some townsfolk whispered of her,
But said nothing aloud to avoid Adam’s anger.
From that day at the ranch, till death came in time
She was known simply as: Misses Miriam Kline.
He drove up to the Triple "T" Ranch in his brand new Cadillac!
In his air-conditioned trailer wuz his Arabian steed an' the finest tack!
He'd dreamed uv bein' a real workin' cowboy since he wuz a tad,
So he fitted hisself out with the latest fashions there wuz to be had!
On his Tony Lama alligator boots he wore a pair uv silver-plated spurs.
Over his Calvin Klein jeans he wore deerskin chaps to stave off the burrs.
He wore a hundred dollar Stetson hat an' fancy vest uv top-grade suede,
An' slung low on his hip wuz a 44 in a leather holster uv the finest grade!
His git-tar wuz slung on his back - across his shoulder wuz a coiled rope.
The grizzled cowpokes chawin' their terbaccy saw in this feller little hope!
They wuz loungin' 'round the corral railin' not believin' whut they saw!
He strolled their way remindin' them uv rhinestone cowboys on Hee-Haw!
First thing he said wuz, "When do we dine and I prefer silk sheets on my bed!"
An ol' cowpoke in scruffy boots an' jeans asked, "Whut wuz 'at you said?"
(The thoughts crossin' them cowpuncher's minds had best be left unsaid!)
"Son, you'll sleep in the top bunk tonight an' beans an' bacon you'll be fed!"
The ranch foreman trotted over to see whut the hullabaloo wuz all about.
"You fellers let me handle this! Ya'all git back to work!" he said with a shout!
He sized the lad up sayin', "Son, I ain't impressed with all them fancy lables!
Begin yer career with this here manure fork!" an' he sent him to the stables!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
So, XYZ Company, after my five years of servitude and loyalty
you close the doors, you dissolve the department
with less than a day's notice, because, hey, that's all we deserve-
And it was no accident you announced right before Memorial Day
So you don't have to give us holiday pay
And of course you think that's fair
You would rather deny a dozen people their livlihood
Than deny yourself your vacation home in Hawaii
Or your Montana ranch, or your private plane
At least, you avoided the hyprocrisy
Of pretending to be sorry.
And what of our bonus, XYZ Company,
that you promised, oh so ardently!
Oh dear, so sorry, quarterly revenue goals
were missed by thatmuch
so whoops, can not pay bonus after all
And it would be super great if everyone
Could just develop group amnesia
that we ever said it was 'absolutely' on the way-
Oh, XYZ Company, you scammed us, you flim-flammed us
You lied and you know it and we know it
We were betrayed like an unfaithful lover
Burned like an untrue friend
But there is no illusion here of friendship, or respect, or trust
Or even professionlism
You have no future, XYZ Company, for you are dying
diseased, corrupt, and caving in,
squeezing pennies 'til the end
And I am glad to be long gone
When the collapse comes
When the avalanche of your ruin is complete
And you are done-
Submitted to 'The Gem that Slipped through the Cracks' contest on 2/09/21
Sponsor: Edward Ibeh
**Parody time! Please open your hymnals to "He Lives" as this what you can sing this parody to the tune too.
I eat a deep dish pizza,
it's in my mouth right now.
I know that it is tasty,
despite the carbs it has;
I see its mound of cheese,
its topped with mushrooms too.
And just because I want it,
I'll add the ranch.
The fun, the fun,
The pizza is the fun!
I snack on it and munch on it
upon my dinner plate.
The fun, the fun,
The pizza is the fun.
You ask me how I like my pizza?
I like it in my tummy.
With all the food around me
I choose the fresh baked cheese,
And tho my mouth did water
I'll add the pineapple.
I know I need the chicken
and the ranch dressing.
The time of my delivery,
will fill me up.
The fun, the fun,
the pizza is the fun!
I snack on it and much on it,
upon my dinner plate.
The fun, the fun,
The pizza is the fun.
You ask me how I like my pizza?
I like it in my tummy.
Mastications In One Movement
Lathering on the ranch dressing,
mixed with honey mustard grunting;
these inhaling engorging souls are
finding the emotional precipice,
high up and dangling,
hanging by french fried ropes,
smothered in thousand island arrhythmias.
here come the fat waiters,
pushing arteriosclerotic meat carts,
spangled in barbecued thrombosis
and chocolate-covered infarctions,
served au jus on peanut butter trays
filled with maple syrup cherries and
white-creamed heart palpitations.
You know what I mean?
You’ve smelled those words before,
tasted their glazed cordials,
licked the candy flowers
as they swayed there, and
sucked the inner pap of the sweet melon
with perspiring brow; now
having a reason to wake up, it is
time for cupcakes and cinnamon churros
with the vanilla-skirted girls,
marinating inside bacon and lettuce taxis,
dipped in onion teriyaki, sizzling
delicious smoke with au gratin effusions.
A cowpokes life is a rough one and when he draws his monthly pay,
He mounts his hoss and gallops to town to visit the local cabaret.
He scrubs the manure from his boots and dons a decent pair of jeans,
Hopin' to find some tolerable grub instead of bacon, biscuits and beans!
He spends his days herdin' ornery longhorns and fixin' barbed wire fences,
Ridin' in nasty weather and eatin' dust 'til he nearly loses his senses!
Fer all of this he expects some decent grub at the end of ever' day,
But Cooky dispenses bacon, biscuits and beans the same as yesterday!
Chuck is served up on battered tin plates and tin cups fer slurpin' joe,
And if'n you don't like it, Cooky is mighty quick to tell ya where to go!
The fellers complain to the trail boss but it don't do a damn bit of good.
He tells 'em, "If'n you don't like it here, find yerself another livelihood!"
At the cabaret he's confounded by the chinaware and fancy silverware,
And instead of sittin' on the ground to eat, he sits on a rickety chair!
He consumes a colossal steak with sweet peas and smashed pertaters,
A couple of beers and a salad of onions, lettuce and fresh termaters.
He and his old cayuse slowly meander back to the ranch to hit the hay,
But he'll return to the cabaret next month when he collects his meager pay.
He savored his scrumptious meal of countless calories and proteins,
'Cause he knows that tomorrow he'll be eatin' bacon, biscuits and beans!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
The barnyard was a twitter.
“She is walking pigeon-toed!”
“You should see it.”
“She thinks she is all that!”
I am dragged out to see.
After listening to them cackle like only hens can do.
There are sixty-six hundred chickens out here
Clucking around.
They are all walking around pigeon-toed.
Haughty with their snobby beaks in the air.
I catch the rooster’s eye.
“They all have fat butts too!” I say.
Expecting him to beak-laugh with me.
He gives them my message in beak-talk.
They surround me quickly
Pecking me to death
As per
instructions
and as per
chickens’ way
I decide never to
do that again.
As I fall into their
smelly chicken scratches.
Hopkins just fumed, and dove for his iron,
Bud’s gun barked, and he fired right then,
The Pinkerton’s charged at the gunshot,
And stared down on the lifeless corpse of Hopkins.
“Sorry I could not get him for you alive,”
Was all Bud said when they looked on the scene.
“You’ve got your man, you’ll get your reward,
but there is some place else that I have to be.”
The very next morn bud arrived at the ranch,
and found Henry working out in the corral,
he said,”I thought about the things that you said,
there’ll be no more trouble from Hopkins now.”
Henry drew near, stared down the young man,
Said,”Well at least now you might have a chance.
But it doesn’t explain what you’re doing here,
why you dared to come back here again?”
Bud just frowned, said,”With things how they are,
I need to find myself a living, of course.
You gotta big spread and I thought maybe
you could use a man who can break a horse.”
Henry went silent for a very long time,
then rubbed at his chin, deep in thought,
“And were I to hire a man like yourself,
how can I ever be sure what I’ve got?”
Bud swallowed hard, and said to Henry:
“If you doubt that my words are sincere,
Then I’ll work my first year for just room and board,
To prove to you that I want to be here.”
Henry just smirked as he heard the words.
“How ’bout I start you out at half-pay.
You give me six months without a slip up,
then I’ll know the truth in what you say.”
Bud shook on it, could not help but smile,
but then Henry said one more thing:
“Also, you’re not to make eyes at my girl,
until I decide that she’s an age for courting!”
I’m noticing the seeds I like to buy
are running out in flavor “Nacho Cheese.”
They’ve got sunflower seeds in Ranch, but I
require my nacho cheese ones. Geeez Louise!!
I look it up on Google and I find
they’re selling out. I run to every store!
They’ve got that dang “Dill” flavor, but my kind
is not in stock and won’t be any more.
I know a service station that’s still got
those seeds I love. I’m off! The hunt is on!
I’ll buy up every bag in every spot
where I can locate them before they’re gone.
Some other stations carry them. I dash
from Pleasant Grove to Provo, brandishing
my credit card. I buy them. In a flash,
all seeds in Nacho Cheese are vanishing!
I’m driving south as far as Mapleton!
The chance of finding bags of them is dire
for fellow addicts. I’ve found sixty-one
to last a year before they all expire!
A true story that happened to me about five years ago
See "About Poem" above. When I love something, I try very hard to get it!!
For the Obsession Contest of Silent One
There is another peninsula I’ve been meaning to see.
Up there, there is a shoreline just for me.
Maybe I’ll drive up north on Friday.
There’s no reason to take a plane where I’d have to pay.
Just enough money for gas and food.
Gas stations with keychains for every mood.
We stopped at my favorite restaurant on the way there.
It had a Michigan mural on the wall, which I enjoyed from my chair.
Eating a burger and fries with ranch too.
There’s nothing better than a road trip, that’s true.
Plans to do a hike.
And ride through Mackinac Island on a bike.
It’s still light out on this Friday evening.
So we'll see the sunset as we’re leaving.
Head up to our hotel.
And enjoy the beach smell.
Then on Sunday, we’ll drive home.
After our weekend roam.
With all sorts of delightful birds.
And trying some cheese curds.
Northern Michigan will be waiting for us to come back.
I’ve been there so many times I lost track.
Five days a week, I am in my boring town.
Typing on a computer with a frown.
I think we’ll try a new route for our next trip.
Find a different cafe where we can relax and sip.
I took pictures for my canvas.
So that I can remember the beach air’s caress.
But until then, I am a Southeast Michigan girl.
Who is waiting to give the UP another whirl.