Long Poem Topics

Check out these short poem topics. Find short poems by topic or form.

abortion absence
abuse addiction
adventure africa
age allah
allegory allusion
america analogy
angel anger
angst animal
anniversary anti bullying
anxiety appreciation
april arabic
art assonance
aubade august
autumn baby
bangla baptism
baseball basketball
beach beautiful
beauty bereavement
best friend betrayal
bible bio
bird birth
birthday black african american
blessing blue
boat body
books boxing day
boy boyfriend
break up bridal shower
brother bullying
business butterfly
cancer candy
car care
career caregiving
cat celebration
celebrity change
chanukah character
cheer up chicago
child child abuse
childhood children
chocolate christian
christmas cinco de mayo
cinderella city
class clothes
color columbus day
community computer
confidence conflict
confusion cool
corruption courage
cousin cowboy
crazy creation
crush cry
culture cute love
dad daffodils
dance dark
daughter day
death death of a friend
december dedication
deep depression
desire destiny
devotion discrimination
divorce dog
dream drink
drug earth
earth day easter
education emo
emotions encouraging
endurance engagement
england environment
epic eulogy
eve evil
fairy faith
family fantasy
farewell farm
fashion fate
father father daughter
father son fathers day
fear february
feelings film
fire firework
first love fish
fishing flower
flying food
football for children
for her for him
for kids forgiveness
freedom french
friend friendship
fruit fun
funeral funny
funny love future
games garden
gender giggle
girl girlfriend
giving god
golf good friday
good morning good night
goodbye gospel
gothic graduate
graduation grandchild
granddaughter grandfather
grandmother grandparents
grandson grave
green grief
growing up growth
guitar hair
halloween happiness
happy happy birthday
hate health
heart heartbreak
heartbroken heaven
hello hero
high school hilarious
hindi hip hop
history hockey
holiday holocaust
home homework
hope horror
horse house
how i feel howl
humanity humor
humorous hurt
husband hyperbole
i am i love you
i miss you identity
image imagery
imagination immigration
independence day innocence
insect inspiration
inspirational integrity
international internet
introspection ireland
irony islamic
january jealousy
jesus jewish
jobs journey
joy judgement
july june
kid kindergarten
kiss language
leadership leaving
life light
little sister london
loneliness lonely
longing loss
lost lost love
love love hurts
lust lyric
magic malayalam
marathi march
marriage math
may me
meaningful memorial day
memory men
mental illness mentor
metaphor metrical tale
middle school military
miracle mirror
miss you missing
missing you mom
money moon
morning mother
mother daughter mother son
mothers day motivation
mountains moving on
mum murder
muse music
my child my children
mystery myth
mythology name
native american natural disasters
nature new year
new years day new york
nice niece
night nonsense
nostalgia november
nursery rhyme obituary
ocean october
old onomatopoeia
pain paradise
parents paris
parody pashto
passion patriotic
peace people
perspective pets
philosophy places
planet poems
poetess poetry
poets political
pollution poverty
power prayer
prejudice preschool
presidents day pride
princess prison
proposal psychological
purple quinceanera
race racism
rain rainbow
rainforest rap
raven recovery from
red relationship
religion religious
remember remembrance day
repetition retirement
riddle rights
river romance
romantic rose
roses are red rude
sad sad love
satire scary
school science
science fiction sea
seasons self
senses sensual
september sexy
sick silence
silly silver
simile simple
sin sister
sky slam
slavery sleep
smart smile
snow soccer
social society
softball soldier
solitude sometimes
son song
sorrow sorry
soulmate sound
space spanish
spiritual spoken word
sports spring
star stars
storm strength
stress student
success suicide
summer sun
sunset sunshine
surreal sweet
symbolism sympathy
tamil teacher
teachers day technology
teen teenage
thank you thanks
thanksgiving thanksgiving day
tiger time
today together
travel tree
tribute true love
trust truth
universe uplifting
urban urdu
usa vacation
valentines day vanity
veterans day violence
visionary vogon
voice volleyball
voyage war
water weather
wedding wife
wind wine
winter wisdom
woman women
word play words
work world
world war i world war ii
write writing
yellow youth

Poetry Forum Areas

Introduce Yourself

New to PoetrySoup? Introduce yourself here. Tell us something about yourself.

Looking for a Poem

Can't find a poem you've read before? Looking for a poem for a special person or an occasion? Ask other member for help.

Writing Poetry

Ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas how to write better.

High Critique

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

How do I...?

Ask PoetrySoup Members how to do something or find something on PoetrySoup.



You have an ad blocker! We understand, but...

PoetrySoup is a small privately owned website. Our means of support comes from advertising revenue. We want to keep PoetrySoup alive, make it better, and keep it free. Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on PoetrySoup. See how to enable ads while keeping your ad blocker active. Also, did you know you can become a PoetrySoup Lifetime Premium Member and block ads forever...while getting many more great features. Take a look! Thank you!
Get Your Premium Membership


Long Courage Poems

Long Courage Poems. Below are the most popular long Courage by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Courage poems by poem length and keyword.

See also: Famous Long Poems

Long Poems
Long poem by JW Earnings | Details

The Injury of Fury

~~**This poem is super long, but it took me hours to write. I hope you all enjoy reading this as I have enjoyed writing it wholeheartedly.**~~

Awful anger expressed in verses
Didn’t give me blessings, but curses
I’m genuinely depressed for letting you down all year round
Don’t wanna be candidly blind like a sick, wandering hound 

Happiness is what I need to rehearse
It will be peace to this sad, dark verse
I don’t feel like a strong, mighty knight,
Always fearful to take flight at night

Now, I’m the lonely fool for not making wise decisions
Right now, I wanna make a change to fulfill some missions
In my mind…in your eyes…
In my soul, there’s no lies

You are playing me like a game these days
But, I will tame the terrible tiger that is inside me 
I am displaying distress in so many ways
And I don’t mean to act so cowardly and franticly   
 
Afraid to lose control so suddenly
The atmosphere is cool momentarily
At least no one is invading my personal space
Looking forward to achieving grandeur grace 

Is there any hopeful bliss to search for
Or am I left to forlorn for you some more?
Is there any good luck for me in store?
My eyes should be to the sky instead of the floor…

Wash away the tears, flowing so rapidly from my eyes
Push away the fears, growing in my panicked heart as time flies
Understand where I am coming from and what I’ve been through
I’ve been going through bipolar manias for many years and all is true

Do you really wanna know why? 
There’s times when I want to live or die
I wanna explain what’s going on 
I’m just hoping you won’t be gone
  
Picked on by passive aggressive behavior I’ve viewed in the past
Alas, I’ve learned that peacefulness in chaos doesn’t last
I’ve fallen for the lies of your cries…I’ve grown stronger ever since…
I found myself in the rubble of your goodbyes and seeking His deliverance  

I’m embracing alienated ambition little by little
If only my somnolent bones can be less brittle 
Forgiveness will be replaced with resentment sooner or later…
I’m like the salt and sand of the sea, flowing and churning in a beautiful blur

Virtuous humility will crown my head of bottled-up dread
It feels like an eternity to be driven by compassionate determination
I can’t go on any further when my blotched feet feel like lead 
Vigorous madness and frustration zip through my veins of lamentation

There’s no reason I should sit here and mope
There’s gotta be a reason to stand up and have hope
There’s no need to be trapped in shameful solitude’s sphere 
I want to believe and have faith in brighter days without any fear

I want to mourn in delightful joy
I don’t want to be angry anymore
I want to be a happy-go-lucky boy
I don’t want to be a closed door

I want to be an open door of opportunities for everyone around me
I don’t want this hostile rage or discomfort to wrap itself around me 
I’m willing to be set free from the captivity I’ve put myself in 
I’m in desperate need of an optimistic outlook from within

Your echoing empathy leaves me no reflection of disheartening fear in this mirror
I have allowed myself to rise and fall like my failures and successes I hold so dear
I dodged the bullets of never-ending negativity that wants me to fall into temptation
Envious sorrow and hopeless irritation will not upset me with inner aggravation 

I will not let nightfall chase away my confident stride
I will not allow doubt and grief to make me cower and hide
I will be courageous through the storms of tribulation
I will shake off the tension and be full of anticipation 

 Encouragement expressed in verses
Did give me blessings, not curses
I’m genuinely delighted to have sought You in times of trouble and assumption
Don’t wanna be falling in the same traps of worthless corruption 

Distress, in general, is what I need to let go of
If I could be simply glad in Your land of Love,
I would feel like a strong, mighty knight,
Always resilient and faithful, fighting the good fight

Now, I’m growing wiser and braver for choosing His narrow path
Eventually, I will be rid of all guiltiness from past sins, so I won’t face His wrath
In His loving heart, He is absolutely merciful 
To those who repent from being so resentful 

In His eyes of truth and passion,
He knows that I will gain compassion 
After I go through the rollercoaster of life…
Peace, He will grant you and I if we discard strife

I want to mourn in delightful joy
I don’t want to be angry anymore
I want to be a happy-go-lucky boy
I don’t want to be a closed door
In your mind…in my eyes…
In His soul, there’s no lies

Sometimes, living this life can be maddening to the core
The fire of desire ire has scorched me aflame not too long ago
Other times, living this life has its positive effects that I adore
You know, the snow that sparkles aglow is in our soul as a whole – 
It is like a single snowflake, 
Transforming into crushed coal
Please don’t cry me a lake…
Let the emotions take its toll 

Melt away the walls of wrath between us
Trust is like dust, which withers away
Shelter us in the shadows of our eustress 
Lust must vanish or it will lead us astray

The madness and sadness will not be the end of us 
Happiness and gladness will be the beginning of us
I’m genuinely relieved that God hasn’t left you and I in grief
Our actions and sentiments along with it is but a leaf 

I’ve been restless and these ups and downs I feel emotionally 
Don’t benefit you or me in any way
You’ve been dreaming of me through thick and thin fervently
I pray you don’t ever deny it any day

Listen to the consoling whispers of the breeze
Do you smell the smoke of my passion at ease?
Are you in tune with the rhythm of my heart beats?
In my masculine chest (which yearns for perseverance), 
It beats for you and you alone as it resonates, radiates and repeats
I know this is God’s test and I will be receiving reverence 

The fire of our desire ire has been put out by the Lord…
Our decadent emotions is what we shouldn’t hoard
The wall of our wrath must be demolished completely
 Our saturated souls has been transformed tremendously

We are like a gleam of a stream compared to God, who is a sparkling lake
I know that the feelings we had put our lives and other lives at stake
 But…look at life in my perspective – sometimes, it takes deleting our history 
To drive into the rocky road of recovery…He will heal our injury of fury

He forgives us for our transgressions
He is merciful and wants us to be guilty no more
He appreciates you and I’s confessions
He promises us that our life will be an open door
Opportunities of shameless joy awaits us
But, first, we are like school kids in the bus,
Heading for a destination that is full of surprises
That won’t reduce us to anger with its dainty devices

Copyright © JW Earnings | Year Posted 2017

Long poem by Elisa Christensen | Details

The Inner Chamber

THE INNER CHAMBER

Please.  Stop holding back on me.

Like a child standing at the neighborhood ice cream truck, arm outstretched, eyes huge, mouth watering.

I stand here longing to slip underneath your decades of cold-rolled steel armor and touch the real you.

Your soft underbelly where your greatest fears run amuck through your darkest worlds. 
 
Where you hide the monsters you are sure will send me screaming, 
Stuck deeply with their sharpest swords, 
A trail of blood decorating my getaway.
?Where you go to revisit the smell of your newborn’s head and 
The sound of the thousand “I love you’s” that have decorated 
Your heart, like a high ranking general.

His bright, glistening medals lining his proud Chest
Just as your children’s “I love you’s” decorate your soft, gooey middle core, 
That part of you no one else gets to see.

To open these innermost, secret chambers, 
Would be to allow another warrior into your most private sanctuary.

The space where you lay down your weapons, 
Remove your many layers of armor.

I get that.  It’s a most dangerous proposal.
One you haven’t had much luck with in your past.

I understand that when the elixir of youth’s innocence,
Formed a rosy gauze over your insight, 
And your understanding of how your species really works-

You allowed a few in.
I know what they did,

Betrayals scattered across 
Your sacred sanctuary,
Littering the once pristine floors,
That you initially built.
 
Floors that were not lacking in any way-
From the purest white ideals,
The hopes and impossible delusions,
That a teen bride imbibes as she
Sweetly dreams of her white wedding day.

While your armor may be a suitable deterrent for most, 
I can see it is transparent in some places.
Worn thin from years of overuse.

You should know that.

Through these unintended, accidental windows,
I can see what lies there.
Multiple masses of thick scar tissue where-
The injury of betrayal and the loss of innocence 
Played out like a well-executed horror film,
Leading you to absolute conviction concerning 
The danger such risks can afford.

Should I ever be the very rare, honored guest, 
Chosen to visit you there,
I can’t promise you that I won’t ever
Pull a shank from my pinions and consider
Hacking at your soft underbelly.

I could probably even get a few small
Yet effective weapons past your metal detectors, 
Your multiple teams of soldiers standing guard.
But would I?  Would I pose that danger?

I’ve seen how we can dissolve 
Into tattered, faded copies of ourselves 
Marked with coffee rings and ink spills.

Our most evil versions of ourselves taking over
Like the energy vampires who manipulate 
Every conversation and exhaust all those around them.

I cannot say to you that I have never attacked
With both barrels blazing,
After sustaining a life-threatening blow
From your finest canons.

You know that I have.

While certainly not my proudest moments,
I cannot promise that I, 
In all my medieval humanness and imperfections,
Could rise above my own scars and 
Open wounds and turn to face you,
With my finest intentions displayed proudly 
Like the white feathers of a great owl.

When the salt is still burning through
The wounds that we both knew 
Would probably not ever heal, 
Due to the unexpected, additional attacks 
They have been pummeled with--

When our shadow people join forces to
Show us just how ugly we really can be--
When my own fears and pain from
My own scar tissue turns me into someone
I’d avoid at all costs in a dark alley--

How can I promise you complete safety?
How could I ever be truthful in saying
I could never hurt you,
That I would never consider smuggling in
A small shank intended for your underbelly?

Am I any better, any more kind, less sinister?
Than the black clothed, face painted, stealth ninjas
That snuck in before me?

Littering your inner chamber with blood stains,
Chunks of flesh sliced away with razor sharp swords,
With words that should never have formed
On the lips of anyone who also tumbled forth
“I love you?”

I can’t.  I cannot promise you my visit there, 
Should I ever be permitted into your sacred space,
Will be one of godly like goodness
Devoid of human insecurity, self absorption
And crippling imperfections.

I honestly cannot give you that.
Even as much as I want to.

What I can give you is a broken, imperfect person,
Who at least understands the delicacies of 
?Such an important journey into that sacred space.
A person who recognizes this space of yours,
As truly sacred.

A person who will respectfully take off her shoes,
Not trample the few square feet of soft, 
White carpet that has yet to be stained with your blood.

The lifeblood that the very ones,
You chose to love, and who promised only 
To love and protect you,
Went before me and carelessly, 
Sometimes wits the most frightening and shocking intentions,
Boldly splattered from your tender heart,
Across your white carpet, once so pure and clean. 

I can only promise that my goal here 
Is and never will be to cut you open any deeper.

I can only promise that I will keep this in mind,
Before I go forward and knock once again,
Upon your tightly sealed, inner chamber door.
The one you’ve outfitted with five, impossible deadbolts.

I can only promise that I will bring--
A satchel of tenderness.
A backpack filled with understanding,
Patience and genuine love. 
And hopefully,
If I can fit it in, 
A little, true selflessness.

And should I pack all of this for my journey,
There won’t be any room for my weapons.

So please, when I knock on that door,
Don’t greet me with a long, cold, 
Terrorizing glance down the barrel of one of your biggest guns.

Realize I come in peace, unarmed.
Recognize and acknowledge the white flag
I hold high out in front of me.

Hoping just to know you.
To love you.
To lounge in bliss within your warm, sweet chamber.
Your sanctuary.
And finally get the chance to meet the real you.










































																	










Copyright © Elisa Christensen | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by JW Earnings | Details

The 996th Poem

Fulfilled fantasies and legitimate realities…you do know how to please…
Are you listening to my voice of longing and yearning?
No, don’t backstab me with your broken promises…stop being a horrid tease…
Do not worry, Lord, I am still constantly…learning…

God is here…

I’m scared, so unprepared… my flames are flared…
I’m impaired by depression wars I have fought over the years
Just a hair, faced this nightmare and no one cared
Slayed by the mocking sanity of society…reduced me to tears…

Healing is near…

Exceedingly exasperated by your empty empathy 
Vacant stares flood the room in despair and envy
I adore you, you’re my door of countless opportunities and yet, time flies
Play me on the radio again and again and you’ll find where your heart lies 

Don’t worry, dear…

Rising in the moment of remarkable letdowns
I had a miscarriage of misery a long time ago
You blew up my cellphone with texts, calls and happy frowns
I can do this, I have done this before, I…know…

Cower away from sheer fear that veers the head…don’t let it appear…
 
Yank away from my dreams…
Turn me on with your musical talents and interests alike
Broken by the useless seams…
Ride me like your favorite, childhood bike…I let go of the mic

Therapeutic aftershocks draw near to me…honey, don’t shed a tear…

Get off of my chest, heart attacks of our love from below above
I’m chasing the water under the bridge over you, can’t you sea? No possibly…no possibility…
Can’t you just leave me be?
I swear without cussing, I was being sincere with my speech you knew not of
My flow is far from yours, so don’t intertwine with my flow of ecstatic me, in need of being free
Can’t you leave my side for now?
Just leave my presence somehow…

Jealousy is key to the gates of selfish ambition, so don’t have the spirit of jeer

You served as a distraction more or less
Sorry I got you in this hell-heaven of a mess
Everything can last a while, but not forever
It is impossible to say what is on my mind whatsoever
I’m a Positive Poe and a Silly Seuss all over again…so, cheers! 
Raise up your wine cups and bubblin’ beers…

My request is to kiss your lips, so warm and lovely
In my tamest dreams, I’ve looked all over for you…you were lying on stones and stix
I am raptured in this love affair; barely breathing, baby...
Do it again…do it again – the verbal abuse is a bruise I fix…you are as hard as billion brix

Going Justin Beiber on you...disappointed, you scoot away from me…drove me to laughter tears…

Plastic reality can’t undo what has happened to me in the past…I’m the mast in Antarctica, left behind at last 
It is the captive soul that needs some healing…I seek something more than what meets the eyes
You are Australia and I am America…opposite directions…we drifted our separate ways oh so vast and fast
Cast away this sorrow from my sullen cheeks and these eyes that are like mood rings daily…it’s best if you don’t ask your what’s and why’s

Instead, you go Lady Gaga on me – good one! At least I’m not going Demi Lovato on you, my wandering deer

Wipe away these lament drops from my cloudy eyes
Because they won’t even consider my cry for help, but hopeless like withered kelp 
Ripen me with radiance and reveal to me no sly lies
No vulgar talk please…he speaks genuine words and hear my helpless, muffled yelp 

If I was your man, I’d be the happiest man alive…like Rihanna that arrives in Los Angeles for the first time…I’m getting it on poetically and popically up in here

I got you in chains in my heart…you feeling it? Are you ready? Do I need to feed you regretti?
You ain’t coming out of my ribcage
Try to plan an escape route…just try and give up already…here’s a celebrated fail with confetti
You make me feel this painless rage

I bit my Cyrus Tongue…hold your tongue before the fire consumes all…or if you whisper it in my ears, you’ll reduce me to ashes...nowhere to roam it appears…

You shelter me with laughter and peace disaster
I don’t understand the words you utter, but I know it screams out those hear-me-out’s
I can’t make out how we made it through this hardship that has torn us asunder 
My ears will listen to you acutely, so I’ll be your butter on warm toast when you let out your desire shouts

Killing me alive by your sensual and passionate nature that give me dream infatuationmares…my obsession towards you is dastardly, disturbingly serpentine to my evanescent heart of stone in a sight’s gleam

I need saving, for I am caving…fell victim to lustful, ugly craving
It takes me to levels of languishing hopes
I know I was unfaithful and misbehaving…force-fed your raving 
My voice of angst anguish…it still mopes

I know my rights and wrongs…
Catastrophe connection lost its link and my positivity peace is in the brink of spring – so, in winter, I sing these sad, sad songs

I was the class clown…in pointless, humor town 
Now, I’m the loner in class
Let’s not categorize others and put everyone down 
I am lost in a multitude alas

Inside and out, I have the hearts for you… and you had no clue
Through silence and shouts, I’m blue without you… so true…

I freaked out suddenly…
It puzzled me and bewildered you too…I’m sorry for my cyber-outburst
Dating goes bad madly…
Needed you really badly, but you were…oblivious of it, it seemed at first

Whistling to myself in a blissful moment of musical, magical muse…
I speak mindlessly with my imaginary friends and it’s amusing because I have some good and bad news…
My Silly Seuss released from my writing of childish conniving
Emerge from the volcanic vanity, scorching…warped-up writhing… 
After being verse-tracked, I have some good and bad news: 

I passed for being the biggest loser on Earth
I failed on being a good leader…
Mirth gives birth to a rebirth of faith hearth 
Okay, fine…I’ll be a follower…

Remember, I am titaniumb and I am Rated R for Recovery 
December, the month in embers…January is a new discovery

Hang on the ceiling, chandelier fear 
The spotlight is on me…once and for all…
After all I’ve said and done, I’m of cheer
Because I fear no more…996th poem, y’all…

Copyright © JW Earnings | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by Cyndi MacMillan | Details

TAIL SPIN, REVISED

This page shows my writing process and is part of Poetrysoup's first workshop.  The workshop's intent is to reveal how revision strengthens a poem. Constructive feedback can be a gift.  Should any journal editor provide suggestions to me, I'd eagerly listen.  This 'reveal' will be archived, may be used as a teaching tool for newer poets.  Thank you to all the workshop participants.  You really put your heart into this project.  


Clammy palmed, heart amplifying 
a heavy metal gallop as if thick smoke fills

the corridor, a face peers through the window;
A pilot warns, we’re coming in rough.

Like that first ear piercing, eyes crammed shut;
Like Jamie Lee Curtis in the closet 

clutching a hanger, screaming to wake herself up. 
A memory of brakes failing on the highway,  

of an empty pantry, then getting that pink slip.
Too much, too much, panic takes hold,

a lockdown, a breakdown, a savage dog bite — 
when the cure was still a stab to the belly,
 
Like you just saying to me
I’m not sure if I love you, anymore.


Version Two, May 7, 2015


ROLLERCOASTER RIDE,

Clammy palmed, heart amplifying 
a heavy metal gallop as if thick smoke 

chokes the corridor, a face cracks the window
or the pilot says, we’re coming in rough.

Refrains, this'll hurt me more than it hurts you;
Ma'am, three weeks til we get the results,

a long dreamed pregnancy, sudden bleeding,
mother in her coffin, ear to frigid wood.

Like razors in an apple,
like Jamie Lee Curtis in the closet 

clutching a hanger, screaming to wake herself up. 
A memory of brakes failing on the highway,  

of a skeletal pantry, of a bullet hole.
Too much, too much, panic takes hold,

a lockdown, a breakdown, a savage dog bite — 
when the cure was still a stab to the belly,
 
Like you just saying to me
I’m not sure if I love you, anymore.  





Version 3 -- tighter, more erratic, rapid fire.

TAIL SPIN

Clammy palmed, heart amplifying 
a heavy metal gallop as if smoke 

chokes corridors, a face cracks the window,
the pilot yells, we’re coming in rough.

Remember, soap in the mouth,
Remember, you want somethin' to cry about.

An awaited pregnancy, sudden bleeding,
mother's coffin, ear to frigid wood.

Like razors in apples,
like Jamie Lee Curtis in a closet 

grappling that hanger, my parallel life,
brakes failing on the highway,  

skeletal pantry, new bullet holes.
too much, too much, panic takes hold,

lockdown, breakdown, dog bite — 
when the cure was a stab to the belly
 
like you just saying to me
I’m not sure if I love you, anymore. 




Version 4

TAIL SPIN

Remember, soap in mouth,
I'll give you somethin' to cry about,

clammy palmed, heart amplifying 
a heavy metal gallop,

as if smoke choked corridors, 
a face cracked the window,

the pilot's croak, 
we’re coming in rough,

Mother's coffin, 
ear to frigid wood,

pregnant, at last, 
then suddenly bleeding.

Like one Halloween,
a razor hid in my apple,

shrapnel in our bedroom door,
too much, panic takes hold,

lockdown, breakdown, rabid bite — 
when the cure was a stab to the belly
 
like you just saying to me
                I’m not sure if I love you, anymore.  

Revised:

TAIL SPIN

Remember, soap in mouth,
I'll give you somethin' to cry about,

clammy palmed, heart amplifying 
a heavy metal gallop,

as if smoke choked corridors, 
a face rattled the window,

the pilot croaked, 
we’re coming in rough,

Mother's coffin, 
ear to finished wood,

pregnant, at last, 
then suddenly bleeding.

Like one Halloween
a razor cored my apple,

shrapnel in our bedroom door,
too much, panic takes hold,

lockdown, breakdown, rabid bite — 
when the cure was a stab to the belly
 
like you just saying to me
                I’m not sure if I love you, anymore.  

Revised 6

TAIL SPIN

Remember, soap in mouth,
I'll give you somethin' to cry about,

clammy palmed, heart amplified 
a heavy metal gallop,

as if smoke choked corridors, 
a face rattled the window,

turbulence, warnings,
we’re coming in rough,

Mother's coffin, 
ear to finished wood,

pregnant, at last, 
then suddenly bleeding.

Like one Halloween
a razor cored my apple,

shrapnel in our bedroom door,
too much, panic takes hold,

lockdown, breakdown, rabid bite — 
when the cure was a stab to the belly
 
like you just saying to me
                I’m not sure if I love you anymore.  


Revised 7 -- I am happy with this one, finally... any more takers? LOL

TAIL SPIN

Remember, soap in mouth,
I'll give you somethin' to cry about,

clammy palmed, heart amplified 
a heavy metal gallop,

as if smoke choked corridors, 
a face rattled the window,

turbulence, warnings,
we’re coming in rough,

Mother's coffin, 
ear to finished wood,

pregnant, at last, 
then suddenly bleeding.

Like one Halloween
a razor cored my apple,

shrapnel in our bedroom door,
too much, panic takes hold,

lockdown, breakdown, rabid bite — 
when the cure was a stab to the belly
 
like you just saying to me
 I’m not sure 

                    if I love you anymore.  

Revision 10 -- thank you EVERYONE

TAIL SPIN

Remember, soap in mouth,
I'll give you somethin' to cry about,

clammy palmed, heart amplified 
a heavy metal gallop,

as if smoke choked corridors, 
a face rattled the window,

turbulence, warnings,
we’re coming in rough,

Mother's coffin, 
ear to finished wood,

pregnant, at last
overjoyed — sudden blood.

Like one unforgettable night
a razor cored my apple,

shrapnel pricked our bedroom door,
too much, panic takes hold,

lockdown, breakdown, rabid bite — 
when the cure was a stab to the belly
 
like you just saying to me
 I’m not sure 

                      if I love you anymore.  

Copyright © Cyndi MacMillan | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by Verlena S. Walker | Details

GIANTVILLISM AND CITY OF THE BEAN PEOPLE PART 1

INTRO
A wonderful world it is contemplated Jake as he planted his seed to grow his beanstalk. He knew that this beanstalk would nourish many so he watched it grow. One day he awoke and the beanstalk was clearing the sky and he decided to climb it. Singing merrily to himself: “Oh, what wonderful day to play with your evolution. I planted this stalk of beans and it's growing beyond my conception. So I shall climb it to discover has it evolved another wonderful world beyond .” Jake was foremost a positive thinker. He began to climb singing "evolution conception a world beyond - evolution conceives a world afar."
DAY ONE OF JAKE’S ADVENTURE
Jake climbed the beanstalk that day. He discovered that there was life formed beyond but he was afraid to adventure further and promised himself that he would build the courage to go the step afar. He knew that he had to be well prepared for his adventure, so on his descent down the stalk he began to develop his plan for his journey to continue. As always, Jake began to sing: “ Mmmm… The adventure I am about to partake could be quite dangerous; however, I must completely discover that place. I know that it may be my very last visit – the next – but I am going back to conquer it and that’s that .” Jake begins to instill belief in self.
Jack’s Next Adventure
As Jack planned he would make two weapons and use them if needed. He would take some food with him for his sustenance and a change of clothes for his comfort. He must travel lightly. He cannot be overloaded. This was an adventure to discover the beyond and then return home. He would set some landmarks as he journey within this other world to ensure that he could return to his beanstalk, therefore, assuring his returning home and thus, hopefully safely. Day ten, after the discovery of this world beyond, Jake began to climb his beanstalk once again. Now know that this City that Jack was from had many beanstalks. Did Jack think he was only one with this discovery? Everyone had to plant their own individual beanstalk. Was Jack’s the only one with a world beyond or did he share this with others? Secrets were known to be kept in City of the Bean People forever. Well now Jack had arrived into this other world beyond via his beanstalk. It was a flora place and no one was stirring about. He walked and walked and walked until he came to a cellulosic world. Amidst these cell walls of plants and algae was a cave-like house. He heard loud snoring. He felt to see had he lost his weapons. He had not. Jake entered the house. At first he saw feet then legs. These legs were very long but finally he arrived at the knee caps about 6 minutes later. He knew then that this was a big, big person. He became afraid, but he tiptoed on. He discovered the Giant. He was not about to wake him. Jake decided it was time to end this adventure for now and return home. It took Jack about 1 day to complete his journey home. Nevertheless, he knew he would be back to meet this big person. He had to so that he could discover this world beyond forever. Meaning, he desired the world beyond to be part of his constructed life; therefore, he knew he would fulfill his desire.
JOURNEY TO MEET BIG PERSON
Jake did not remove his landmarks on his journey home from his last adventure that took him into the world beyond. He would travel via these landmarks so that he knew how to get back to the Giant’s home. Two weeks later Jake went on his third adventure. His plan was to meet this Big Person and become friends with him if this was possible. He knew his life could be endangered because he was a small man, but he had to find out if this Giant could be his friend. So Jake went on his merriment way singing: “ This will be quite an adventure. The third trip to what I will call Giantvillism. It’s quite a beautiful place to me, as I see life forming and then there’s this Big Person. Giant he will be call, quite scary after all; however, very much worth the adventure and a connection to his world .” Jake stopped singing and walked quietly, continuing on his journey, as he completed climbing his beanstalk. As Jake continued on his journey to Giant’s home, he constantly discovered new knowledge about Giantvillism. Everything was cellulosic. But he notices that some of these cellulosic things may be able to take human life form. However, it seemed that they needed triggering. An evolutionary world he had discovered with biological means and after he met Giant and if they became friends, he would find this world’s trigger point because it was necessary and should be develop and this is the premise he would live by and also influence Giant to do the same through his instruction, if needed. Hopefully, Giant may know how to do this himself but needed a motivator. Jake knew well that he was that and more. Jake perceived himself as quite powerful. Halfway to Giant’s home Jake felt aspiration and became aspirated and as usually, began to sing while breathing out. He continued his singing merrily and almost ran into Giant who was outside his home. Jake found himself no more than twenty feet away from Giant when he saw his legs in a standing position. Jake did a double-take and hid behind an object he did not have a name for but if he described it, it would be to him a big fossil plant or maybe an artifact of this world. Giant began to move and it seems as if he was humming. However, Jake decided he was singing in his native language, which words sounded like those of a hummingbird. Jake needed a plan of approach and while he was thinking, he fell asleep behind the big fossil plant.

Copyright © Verlena S. Walker | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by Laura Breidenthal | Details

Light On the Devil's Chord - Day 14

Despite his impatience to show me his hell,
He waited for me in my rest, 
Lying upon the ground, I awoke in prayer,
Thanking God above and asking Him for guidance

“My heart is Yours, always,
From the moment I gave breath,
To the darkened impasses of death
Forever glorifying Your name,
Thanking You for Your kindness,
Your creation, love and power
Your glory, Your victory
Lead me, oh Lord,
So I may not fall short in Your sight
Grant me generously Your Spirit,
And in it, may I exalt only You,
In all these cries, merciful God,
Quiet mine, for I need these eyes to see you,
Through the scorching fires of his heart
To be strong within the fray,
To face, here, the remaining days…”

He smiled ironically,
Amening my prayer, 
Taking my hand once again
“We have explored your light,
Might we venture now through my night?”

I nodded solemnly, and he lifted me from the ground,
His wings mightily beating the hot air
We rose to the maelstrom,
The lights dimming, the darkness working furiously,
The cries louder, and the leviathans larger 

“Behold, 
War,
Fear,
Scarcety,
Sickness,
Death.
The days you cannot deny,
Shall come as days past,
Though unlike days passed,
These days shall sustain my glory
And lay all hopes to rest
You cannot deny its swelling,
Its shrouding of your light!”

Within the maelstrom we ventured,
The great voices mighty in their misery
Empty eyes stared through the darkness
The light swept aside by his great wings
As we merged further into the hellish hoard
Hissing and spitting, creatures emerged from deeper trenches
Their mouths holding imbeciles and tortured souls,
A pale green horse screamed in the swirl,
His legs kicking through the repugnant, airy waters
I heard men calling, shouting at one another,
Witnessed parched dragons scorching each other,
And greater creatures with teeth jagged,
Worn from the constant gnashing of their teeth
The moans and groans tremored my bones,
Gave genesis to horrors only shown in darkness born

A leviathan, larger than the last arose from the depths,
To meet with our Prince,
Clenching its teeth at the sight of me
With the sweep of his hand, the jaws loosened,
And he motioned me near
Stepping on the back of the creature, 
I focused my gaze to the fading light
And he watched me grieve as the remaining creation
Faded into nothingness

I could hear the demons laugh,
I could smell Death breathing
His stomach swelling with souls
The battles amongst the souls continued
Throats of the deceased eternally retching,
Coughing and kneeling inside the dark,
Their eyes glowing, staring into mine,
Longing for relief, begging with their expanded pupils
Fear hastening, the leviathan swam,
Screeching in its own anguish and suffering
My hands clenched his gnarled horns, 
As my eyes locked with the Devil’s
He was singing, dark and mightily
Triumph and confidence in his every note
Every word, crisp, stinging

“You will see, oh Daughter of Eve,
How very lucky you are
To see, with me, the future not too far
A future embellishing all power
Wilting every flower,
Every petal of your lies 

I will show you, oh woman so fair,
The eve of your purpose,
My purpose, my reign,
When freedom rises
None shall refrain from the cries of their pain,
From the heart-gnawing stench of righteous defeat”

Standing upon the beast,
He roared as silhouettes sprouted from the shadows
Images of men fighting, stomping their strong feet,
Bright trumpets of war sounding,
Deafened even so by the screams of the wounded and dying
Children arose from the ground,
Watching the conquest of their agonies,
Their bony legs quivering,
Fear sopping their flesh
They rose only to fall to the ground,
Reaching for the skies,
But no one came for them
All happiness had come to an end
Humanity was declining,
The horses of war and sickness galloping rampantly
Through all nations, weak and strong
The tough devoured by great beasts,
The feeble strengthened by demons,
Desecrating their innocent bodies
Destroying all that stand unguarded in their path

And the Prince of Darkness arose, 
The pits of Death ascended all about him,
Forming his palace of woe
So that he may watch his glories commence
And beside him formed a Queen of Stone,
Whose hand raised for eons of wreckage,
The pain of the masses arising through every order
Her hair was jagged, long, black, matted,
Pestilence poured through her eyes and ears,
Her face dark, painted with the blood of the innocent 
Her broad lips poring speeches of blasphemy
Emerald green eyes hardened, fists clenched,
Anger caging her in its satiating thirst for ultimate command

He sang to me,
Inspired by the rotting corpses round,
The terrifying shrills of sound
With increasing appetite
And with deeper bite - 
“We must prophesy my dwindling light! 
Together we sing to entrust our fight
Deny me not, my fleeing soul,
I will free you from all control
To rule with me in this rising Age
To serve our purpose by my side
I offer you a throne you cannot reject
Though do not decide just yet
Let your heart rejoice in our creating,
Our might exceeds all 
Overcome their pathetic cries, 
And in them, with me, rise.”

It was true then
Surely he expected me to disregard such a collateral plight

I closed my eyes to end the vision before me
My heart thumping against such an offer,
A threat to my light, I frowned, I remained silent
All the night there, tainted futures shown
I clenched the leviathan’s horns
Not wanting to be pulled into the sucking currents
Lasting all the night upon its burning back

Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by Laura Breidenthal | Details

A Free-Verse Epic

Thus it begins—
A free-verse epic
Into the mind of
A writer and an idiot—
A romantic and, 
Often a pessimist
Conjoined in arbitrary glory
Are the thoughts and words 
Of one overly-worked mind—
Charismatic and, of course,
On the pushover, pitiful
And usually kind side
Ambitious and awkward,
Dark and daring
With the predisposition 
Of neglect and doubt
Mixed with notions of
Unattractiveness and pride of it
The strain of freedom 
Chips the mind of
A flawful perfectionist,
And though she sees color 
And she sees injustice
And all things that most see, 
Perhaps she deems it right
To try and see differently

I am not opposed to uniform
I am not opposed to meter form
Though can this heart beat
In perfect syllables and rhythm
As—let’s say—the great form
Of iambic pentameter! 
I say, prospectively—
If your drum wants to beat 
To that rhythm,
Then by all means
Allow it reign 

But as for me,
I shall let mess be purpose
And purpose gives me surety
That these fragments—
These thoughts,
Will prove worthy
For, after all, 
What are a few words worth,
If in the end they shan’t
Be read? 
Will a writer write for himself, 
Or for the world, 
To witness and appreciate
His inner dimensions?   
Will an idiot acknowledge his stupidity,
Or shall he remain valuable 
Through his own foggy lens?
Will the weight of the world 
Crack his vision,
And lead him to regions
He knows not of?
I have seen the great
Reduced to dust
By the mere vocals of another
I have listened to the 
Relentless cries of the pessimist
And the warm, trickling rays
Of the romantic—
Yet do they see a purpose
In their unique expressions?
Do they feel their beats and rhythms,
And own to the bone what is theirs?  

To be charismatic in words,
But not in nature 
Is a mystery of me
How can I find words to write
With scarcely words to utter? 
I enter dark terrain 
Through rapid fires of thought
They push me to remain
Different and strained
Is there a part of us hidden, 
That in shame is revealed unknowingly
Through our inimitable passions? 
Are our actions snail-paced
When faced with the probability
Of judgement? 
Why then do these words flow free,
With the heavy chance 
Of failure?
Failure perhaps seen by others,
But prominent and bent 
Into yourself?
In the air you breathe
You know your shortcomings
Before others utter your deed
And yet, 
I find glory in a trip
I feel contentment in the fall
Leaves change and crumble
Just as hope fades and returns

Likely I am lost in doubt,
Waiting for a purpose
Made for something better
Expecting the worst
I am unafraid to tread
On the moss
With a friend’s laughter
Only a memory igniting 
Bitterness
Sadness
Why does she never talk?
Have I drifted from all thought? 
I remember happiness, 
Yet I war
I am perpetually lost in the laugh
Waiting to see a smile spring again
I liked the texture between my toes
Green, weird, and wet
I liked being vulgar
And not being afraid
A bee has never stung me
As your absence does
A monster has never scared me
As my heart scares you

There’s a chance I will break
A chance that life means nothing
Thoughts spurt energy
Trust burns holes
Expectations rise into rage
When what meets us 
Is an opposite fate 
We want to receive the expected
And scorn the unexpected
To jeer the underdog
And take glory from heroes
Be needed by the popular
And kill the weak with our pride
What is so repellent 
About being different? 
Do we need to agree on everything?
The phoenix does not burn for you
It is scorched eons times over
Because of who it is
It burns to birth its existence
Over and over and over and over and over and over
And yet we persist that 
We have started the flames!
Does the world revolve around
Your igniting pig-head? 
Do we care where you 
Got the boot that you use
To kick down your fellow man?
I have a flip-flop for your face
And more
Don’t disgrace me 
With your false grace!

I saw a college guy
Stop in the walkway
He paused and stared at the floor
He snatched a leaf off
The ground, and proceeded
To move a piece of poop
Away from the middle of the pathway
The flimsy leaf didn’t get the job done
So he grabs a small stick
And moves the shit off to the side 
I thought of him
As someone I would like to know
He was considerate,
He seemed kind,
Or perhaps he was just a neat-freak—
Either way,
I feel like he was raised well
I thought about myself—
If I were walking down the same path,
Would I ever look down?
Would I even notice the clump of shit?
And if I did,
Would I continue on?
Or would I be like that guy,
And move it aside?
I think I probably wouldn’t,  
Though now that I have witnessed
This simple act,
I might just do it
The next time shit gives me the opportunity

I want to be caring,
I want to be considerate,
I strive to be kind—
For what use is it to be cold
And withdrawn?
Is the fear too strong
As to hold me back
From what is right?
I certainly hope nobility
Wins
But we cannot stop it there
You cannot expect anything
Merely DO it
And minds—actions
Are probable to alter, 
Just as mine has
But I am not everyone—
I am the only one
Who witnessed the meritable act
Perhaps my job now 
Is to pass it on
 

Note: 
I guess this could be categorized as a free-verse epic, hence the title..XD This poem was written in my journal throughout a couple of days during my Creative Writing course in Pasadena. It is really just a trickle of random thoughts, that I thought had some merit and was worthy of sharing with you guys. Hope you enjoyed it.

Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by Verlena S. Walker | Details

GIANTVILLISM AND CITY OF THE BEAN PEOPLE PART 4

Religious gatherings happen on Thursday as well in Bean’s Cathedral.  The Scribes would read from The Doctrine of Crop and Harvest and the Bean people who attended would be blessed for a greater existence in which this would prepare them to covenant in Bean Town on Thursday night.  Their partying was very diverse.  They did not drink liquor but had many things to drink and a lot of food to eat.  Those that did not attend would be attending to last minute business in which the Scribes understood and blessed them with The Smoke of Missing Hope during Bean’s Cathedral Religious Gathering.  Once this was done all was well in City of the Bean People and Bean Town tinkled.

Jake’s Return to Giantvillism
Now Jake was quite ready to return to Giantvillism, however, he wanted to be prepared for whatever. So on the day of his departure, which was three months from the last; he gathered has weapons and added a flask of merriment. This he would give to Giant as a gift. As always, Jake begin to sing: “ I am going to give Giant a gift. A flask of merriment and he will enjoy this. Therefore, I’m on my way to Giantvillism and maybe Giant and I will travel beyond into his cellulosic world !” Jake began to climb his beanstalk, which took three hours to the top. Once he finally made it to solid ground, Jake began to walk. He knew his way well now because of the eleven times he had visit Giant and this was the twelfth. Jake felt at ease and please with being here in which he knew that Giant awaited his return and that Giant knew he was coming [this day]. As Jake travel on to Giant’s cave, he discovered that some of the cellulosic life forms had evolved. He saw a little man building a house and stop to converse, however, the little man, did not seem to hear a word spoken so Jake tapped him on the shoulder and both the little man and the house he was constructing vanished. Jake walked on until he came upon a woman with four children and she spoke to Jake. “Hello, Jake! So, you return today.” Jake was overwhelmed. She knew his name, but he did not know hers. Jake responded: “What is your name my lady? I do not know yours, however, you do know mine.” “My name is Melody. I am a gypsy. Therefore, I know things that Bean People do not.” Jake became fascinated and asked: “How do you know that I am a Bean person?” Melody answered and said: “Well gypsies have insight into others’ lives or life lines and Jake with you, it is your height, which is the factor. I must go now with my four and maybe I will see you again to tell you some more.” Jake smiled and bid her farewell and not a goodbye. “About five miles”, Jake thought “and I will be at Giant’s house.” Humming and then he begin to sing because he knew this would make time leave much sooner. This is the melody Jake song. “,My life is that of an ordinary man. I stand 5”6” and have such small hands. But if I need to be as big as I can be, I have another half of pint in me. My wife truly loves me and soon, yes I do believe, she be traveling with me to Gianvillism and we will make love in this cellulosic world as we did in Bean Town as teenagers. Oh, her name is Nefa!” Finally, arriving at Giant’s cave house; however, Giant was not at home in which Jake knew he would wait because he was there to stay for at least five days, which his wife Nefa knew he would be gone for that long but no longer than fourteen days or two weeks. Jake fell asleep and was awakened by Giant’s return home. Giant knew he was there and came into his home with a loud bellow: “Hello Jake, glad of your return. I have a pleasant surprise for you. Some of the cellulosic life forms have evolved in Giantvillism and with me is my cousin Maddy.” Jake jumped from his mat and states: “I discovered this on my journey to see you, Giant. First, I met a little man building a house. I tried to talk to him, but he did not hear me and when I touched him on his shoulder he and his house disappeared. Next, I met a gypsy named Melody who knew me immediately by name and by my people. However, I knew nothing about her. We talked and then she had to leave. So, Giant I am not that surprised but I would like to know why do you call Maddy your cousin?” Giant responded: “Well, Jake you see I am from a cellulosic life form as well and Maddy evolved the same way I did. Being from a cellulosic life form one do not evolve as brothers or sisters; only cousins. Therefore, our family history in Giantvillism is based on the foundation of how we evolve. Maddy is the second of my evolutionary life form.” Giant, Maddy, and Jake begin to get to know each other. It seems that all the difficulty Jake was afraid of in getting to know Giant three months ago had been banished when the cellulosic life form evolved while Jake was away. Jake was learning about Giant’s life through him telling Maddy about what it meant to be from the cell of the Big People. It seems that this cell came in many heights because Maddy was not a giant. He was about 6”1”. Jake would say that women would think he was considerably handsome. Giant also said that The Cell of the Big People would evolve many more cousins within the next five years as adults in order for them to procreate and start families. Jake then spoke and told both that this is what happen in his world as well. Giant went on to say that many more life forms were in Giantvillism and their cells had the same capabilities and authorities. With all said, Jake thought: “Hmmm, every world becomes different but then they are all quite the same.”

Copyright © Verlena S. Walker | Year Posted 2015

Long poem by Laura Breidenthal | Details

Light On the Devil's Chord - Day 22

The great Sabbath day descended, though not in my heart and mind
On this new day,
I imagined rays of God’s light shining generously upon the mountains,
Pools of living waters gurgling, and winds gently rustling trees
Wishing for the simple to come rescue me from this troublesome pit
The demons watching me from afar,
Talking amongst themselves in low tones and whispers

 The dark is temporary,
And the light is everlasting . . . 

How could such hate emanating from his very pores, 
Transform, translate into this burning need for me?
Did he truly love me?
Is his heart capable of such a thing?
Or was he lying, playing deceiving chords on my weakening heart,
Was he desperately searching for a way inside?
And had he succeeded in the search,
Reaching inside to the core of me, grabbing on, holding me firmly?

“Your Lamb, dear light, sacrificed for sin,
What need does He have of you now?
Light permeates through you, in you,
What desire do you have for joys so long felt?
For eyes having seen the most glorious majesties, 
Overcoming every trial, every glorious plight
Have you no need for the precious tears you have once shed
For me, in me?”

He spoke from behind, a soft, low tone only slightly louder than the demons
I sat upon the balcony on my knees, fighting for the Spirit to thrive 
As he crouched nearer to my ears, the force of his song weighing me down

“You used to be so in love with those impenetrable sorrows,
How they rippled through your skin, 
Throbbing through your entire body
You embellished in my hate, 
You ravaged my night with your hope for needed light
I never needed you in that moment in time,
The weak human that you were,
Trapped in my weaving rainclouds,
Lost in sin’s oblivion, and stuck in pain’s posture
Just as I need you now, oh spirit, oh teacher of light,
Why must you now turn your back to me?
How are we to sing together in harmonies you dream of,
When your heart cannot fathom the prosperity of our promising union?
Have you no faith in me?
No trust in me, to realize I may change?
If I were to show you change, 
Would you then stay with me?
Do not shutter, woman, beautiful spirit, mighty majesty,
Do not tremble at my tempt, my offer, my plea,
Rest assured, your hope of me
Leads my miserable mind to a foreign path,
A path more exhilarating, but less clear
Though disobedient in nature, my love for your potentials are foreseeable
Attainable, and I daresay agreeable
If I may solo in song all my days,
I will be miserable in the possibility of so many duets we could have shared,
Torturing me with the dark truth that I can never turn to a lie—
That you are indeed my own, and you have me,
That I have fallen in love with a distant light that I almost wish to be
But you pull away, 
And refuse me! 
Because I worship your fire,
And I see what you can be,
You crucify me!
You jab nails in my wings, 
You call for me to shove me backwards
Your long silences make way for my speeches,
That you listen to and grimace upon
What if we were to be equals?
What if we were to be masters?
Foul and fruitful, 
Dark and candid, 
Why not let me be taught?
Tell me why not! 
Your God would not soon cast you away the moment you choose this way,
Is that what you fear?
See how His condemnations haven’t killed me, but strengthened me!
I may be mad, but I am genuine, real and yours if you will have me
Fierce, resilient and right are the rebellious!
Artistically, mightily and beautifully we suffer!
I promise you pain,
I promise you immense sorrow,
But I promise you freedom,
In it I promise you distain, anger and war
But these things do not come for naught,
There is something hot and ready to fight for! 
If not to sacrifice for eternal light,
Why not sacrifice for our love?
And do not tell me you do not love me,
Or cannot love me
Do not tell me with your signature nobility
That you wish me to be saved and free
Do not tell me to get behind you,
Like an angry Lamb near to the slaughter!
I refuse, yes I refuse
To envy you from afar…”

His voice grew intense as he circled round and in front of me
His eyes were focused strongly on me,
Determined and confidently he sang,

“I will not lead you to death and destruction dear soul,
You will lead me to what I was meant to be,
And I you!
Do you believe you have come here for nothing?
Has the demon spoken to you, warning you of my seductions?
Crushing you with pleas for redemption,
Did she, the wretched demon, give you hope for me?
Do you wish to rise with me,
Or die in eternal life?
Without me,
As the beautiful, unattainable solo widow,
The lonely perfection?”

I turned my face away,
Painfully speechless, 
My heart beating violently like days of old

“I hear your heart wildly,
Cease this grieving for me!
Celebrate, be joyous—does not your Spirit give you this? 
Sing with me, at least sing with me!
Before the last days hurl over us, through us, and past us.”

I opened my mouth to sing, 
But nothing would come out
I became lost in his abyssal eyes, 
And contrary to what I believed
I saw change there,
I saw that he no longer hated me,
That he really did love me

“You see it in me, 
But you grieve it, I know. . . 
You were once a daughter of Eve, 
But now you are a separate spirit of truth
So sing me your truth, and I will sing you mine…”

March 26, 2016

Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by Edwin Hofert | Details

Understanding Suicide Understanding Me

Understanding Suicide Understanding Me

Awhile back I had a dear friend contact me to ask if I heard about the young mans suicide at a nearby towns school. I had not. After asking one time on face book if any one of my friends had heard of any such event. My wall began to fill up with details about his life and his personality. His struggles and even previous attempts to end or erase his existence.

He was described as having dreamy eyes by female classmates when he was younger. He was described as the most polite and well mannered but troubled child one person said they had ever met.
Memories of my own changing years flooded my soul as I thought about it all. I did a school report in what they called then Junior High. And my chosen topic was suicide. I've often asked myself why I chose that topic. Today will be one of the very few times I admit it was on my mind a lot during that period of my life. It wasn't because my home life was unbearable. It wasn't because I had no friends or because my young heart had been broken.

In fact I'm only just now realizing it had almost nothing at all to do with my surroundings. It was something within me. Fear certainly had a part to play. Fear of tomorrow. Fear of never really feeling like I fit in. Even though by all outward appearances I was adjusting as well as the majority of people my age.

There was then and sometimes even now this voice. This relentless cruel and demeaning voice always there to remind me. I'll never be good enough. I will always only get what I deserve and that's why I'll never have anything that lasts. Anything that is true. And truly mine.

I was only given a passing grade for my report on suicide because it was obvious the amount of time and effort I put into it. I was told the topic I chose was wrong for a jr high school project. I had failed again. All of that after listening with blood pumping that we could choose our own topic. Somehow my choice wasn't good enough.

I realize now that my very choice for a topic should have sent off bells and whistles throughout the school that one of their own was thinking thoughts of suicide. But they missed it. They didn't see me at all.

Today I don't know why I chose that topic. But I know that one result of it was the saving of my own life. The understanding I gained by being able to see inside the mind that is tormented by unanswerable questions all starting or ending with why? And the realization that to the troubled mind the ultimate answer to fix the most un fixable things.
Is to end it.

This is the point when discussing suicide where fools love to chime in un researched and selfish insensitive remarks revealing their opinions and the fact that they are a fool. 
 A wise man knows only what he knows.
And he does not pretend to have already been where he never hopes to go.

People often consider suicide to be a selfish act. Sometimes referring to it as a cowards way out.

I hate that. And I hate anything that tries to simplify something as complex as a human mind that has reached it's breaking point.

The fact is that to the person in the midst of that struggle. It is the most unselfish and heroic thing that they think they could do.

My point is, that it was my understanding of suicide. It's effects and it's consequences that kept me from crossing that line.

After all the details of this young life surfaced and several hours later my dear friend and I talked again. And without saying it I know she was asking about this path I'm on with my poetry. The tributes to loved ones that have died. The heartache and the heartbreak that I see every day sometimes all day long.

And she asked me. Does all the sadness ever get to you? I responded Absolutely.
There are times I struggle beneath its weight. Sometimes I fall. But somehow I manage to get up again and I keep writing and sometimes when I'm lucky I see someones reaction to a poem where all of a sudden they get it. A life changing revelation takes place in that moment in time. And for a minute. 
I win.

I know the reason I'm alive is to help other people live.

And to find the fullness in their life that I may or may not ever find for myself. It's no longer about me. Because you see somewhere back there that part of me that wanted so badly just to die.

I let it die. And I moved on but not me as I was. A different me. Weaker in some ways and stronger in others. Less proud but more to be proud of. More easily overwhelmed but less breakable.

And so when you see me on the mountaintop and I'm strutting around acting like I belong there. Please. Just let me have that one moment. Because tomorrow I'll be back with the mountain on top of me. Trying to find another way to save someone from going where I have been and hoping to enrich other peoples lives even if it means I know I'm simply going to be passed up along the way.

My reward is you rising above my highest point. My fee for my services? That you never forget how valuable you are. And that you keep pushing forward and never give up.

If you forget me tomorrow. That's ok. But don't forget the things I said.  And don't forget to help someone else along the way.

.

God Bless

Heart Whisperer Ed Hofert @ facebook

Edwin C Hofert

Copyright © Edwin Hofert | Year Posted 2015

Long Poems