Long Panky Poems

With these lines I’ll relate an intriguing tale of dubious accuracy
For I Hope to unveil sordid affairs of more than one conspiracy!
Be warned, that though you might be disturbed by the facts I relate?
They are...

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Introduction: once again I incorporate 
my trademark penchant 
to fabricate fictitiously
portions of the following poetic endeavor
can you care to 
discern fact from fiction?

Attempts at lifelong friendships and holy matrimony...

Shot thru with figuratively cankerous nub,
cuz yours...

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Stan was feeling somewhat glum,nay even despairing,on Monday morning.
Mary had gone to work on her new folding 6 gear bicycle with own basket and an extra basket from Wells-next -the- Sea 1995
[the wicker basket now...

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Apa  ka, ka,
                               ...

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Circa February 12th, 2122 ~ 10:30 PM

Equals twenty one thirty 22:30 military time
future time traveler looks back one century ago,
oceanic waterways overladen with green slime,
yours truly attempted crafting id est feeble rhyme
far from madding crowd,...

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Fires at a blue pills lab threw up a cloud
Settling over the town like a great shroud
And this gigantic mushroom 
Created a baby boom
Because all of the men were very proud...

Tom Cunningham 

It’s no wonder...

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Future time traveler looks back one century ago

The following poem tweaked 
courtesy original author who crafted
literary endeavor some couple years ago.

Now circa August 20th, 2122, 
or 1930 military time,
yours truly attempted 
drafting id est feeble...

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Recurrent sneezing fit courtesy freshly mowed grass

circa June 20th, 2022
prompted me to stutter 
self addressed rapid fire gesundheit
nsync with, spluttering
“I don't have any allergies!”

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty...

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Future time traveler looks back one century ago

I exhibit health and virility at one hundred and 
64 years astride planet earth, whereby spouse,
(who remained married to yours truly for about
one century – which elapsed in...

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The day was short and I was tall,
oops, got that backwards after my fall,
for I was mixed up and worried,  befuddled I say
on this brand new morning in the month of May.
I set out...

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An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty 
bitty, nitty gritty dirt band noah bigger 
than a mole luck yule set in motion a 
chain reaction, whence mine sensitive 
proboscis honker...

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He'd return after decades
Spent in imagination. Month
spent in reality. He'd return to the
House of comedy,here,to crack
an heart-taking,wits-arresting,Emotions-
devouring,Land-quaking joke.
He'd return with a robust neck
Seasoned with weeping nerves.
The joke cracker,Let's hear.....

Before he return'd
The gym-ed rodents embroided
with pleasant...

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Hanky Panky

Honey 
My foot is taping
It’s been a while
I figure it’s gotta be almost
An hour

Baby
You know you 
Drive me crazy
How you do it
Constantly
You tease my eyes
It’s no surprise
Your naughty smiles
Make me so ravenously hungry

Aw come...

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I feel just like that old grey squirrel, 
whose belly is empty as can be.
He keeps on searching for those acorns, 
but he has climbed up a maple tree.

He worked hard and long the whole...

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No rhyme nor reason why
with yours truly ejaculating
(not prematurely), I utter yippee,
nope no intercourse induced whoopie

upon this... - day three
January two thousand and twenty one
perhaps consummation,
regarding aforesaid euphoric mood
indicative I will become philanthropy

recipient i.e. anonymous...

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OLD MA.

Old Ma always gave the kids a nice treat
Always nuts and never anything sweet
But they soon found out why
Nuts were in great supply
Choc nut bars she'd only suck cos no teeth...

NO HIDING PLACE.

An old...

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THE PRANKER AND THE PRANKEE

Pranking might be a game to a pranker
But an unpremeditated shocker.
The prank might become costly 
Cos when you presumed it'll be funny,
the fun becomes a life breaker.
The prank cost a life...

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A Cowboy is lean, tall, muscled and an inarticulate mass
Of loyalty, independence, pride and downright Western class
He cocks his hat to the back of his head and lets loose an infectious grin
Testosterone overflowing he’s masculine...

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Enter into the temple that God made it to be,
It is now an empty hollow shell filled with love's memories,
It has served men well it's doors and windows once open,
The men who entered did not...

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They say Adam and Eve pranced around wearing nothing

But fig leafs and the biggest grins the world has ever seen

Imagine NO FREAKING RULES!!!

All they had to worry about were those thorny bushes

And the occasional lightning...

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Slim is lean, tall, muscled and an inarticulate mass
Of loyalty, independence, pride and downright Western class
Cocking his hat just so he lets loose with his infectious grin
Testosterone overflowing, he’s masculine up to the brim
Mumbling "Shucks"...

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I was pretty cranky when my spanky new bike was janky.
The frame was too short for my body, too tall and lanky.
The tires too fat, too hard to push up boggy maintain trails.
The deal I...

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A sweet young bank teller named Doris
Had a crush on her co-worker, Boris.
But one day while at work
The young clerk went berserk
When she caught Boris banging the manager, Morris.

Doris' secret admirer, Dan Danson,
Was swarthy, tall,...

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Circa April 17th, 2120, or 1820 military time,
yours truly attempted crafting id est feeble rhyme
far from madding crowd, nevertheless yet lovely
bones and flesh quite spry, still considered prime
(moost procreative, prodigious, and progressive)

stage, since (case ye...

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They say Adam and Eve pranced around wearing nothing
But fig leafs and the biggest grins the world has ever seen
Imagine NO FREAKING RULES!!!
All they had to worry about were those thorny bushes
And the occasional lightning...

Read More