Jack Ellison Poet Narrative

Nothing But Fig Leafs

They say Adam and Eve pranced around wearing nothing

But fig leafs and the biggest grins the world has ever seen

Imagine NO FREAKING RULES!!!

All they had to worry about were those thorny bushes

And the occasional lightning bolt accompanied by a loud booming voice

Reminding Adam, “You owe me big time for this one, my friend!”

Caine and Abel along with seven other offsprings

Were the result of a lot of hanky panky

Do you blame him??? He was the luckiest dude EVER!!!

My question is, how did they keep those fig leafs in place

Scotch Tape? Elmer's Glue? Velcro?

Also why did they need those damn things to begin with

There wasn't another living soul to be seen

Imagine today, if we walked around naked as a jaybird

The population of the world would soar from 7 billion

To well over 20 billion in a matter of nine months counting twins

I'm not saying we couldn't carry on as usual with our daily routine

But perhaps the routine would be interrupted now and then

I have a suggestion for future generations if this becomes a problem

Think of Drew Carey naked!



© Jack Ellison 2014

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Dorian Petersen Potter November 16, 2014 at 9:40 AM Very very funny my dear friend Jack you just made me chuckled with your very witty and humorous poem here, I can only say wow this is an excellent funny write. Thank you for sharing your funny pen in this one and making me laugh. A 7 for me or is it for you? Lol..:) love and hugs! xxx D. Jack Ellison November 16, 2014 at 9:53 AM See! That's what I mean! You have a sweet way of curling my toes!!! Thank you my dear dear friend! Love from the old guy XXX

Carol Eastman November 16, 2014 at 8:23 AM That's origional and funny! I'm glad to be here, now, and with Dragon, Mike, and the gang... Snow is on the way! Don't know how much... Gave Dragons a great breakfast and he's fired up and ready to defend our side walks and driveway... Only problem is that he's impatient and bouncing around the house making havoc with his tail. So we sent him out to warn all the woodland animals snow is a coming. Kinda like Paul Revere with snow, what a picture that makes. But it got him out of the house... LOL Jack Ellison November 16, 2014 at 8:30 AM We've been lucky with the snow so far... NONE! But eventually we're gonna get it, although not as much as other places in this here frozen north! XXX

Cecilia Macfarlane November 14, 2014 at 1:54 PM LOL Jack, entertaining write and questions to ponder! Hugs Jack Ellison November 14, 2014 at 3:39 PM Many many questions! LOL Huggsies Cecilia XXX

Brenda Meier-Hans November 14, 2014 at 10:39 AM Now I have to wonder if more babies are born in spring from families that visited normal beaches the summer before or those who spent the summer on nude beaches. If we had those statistics we would know if it would be safe to run around nude. Thanks for the smiles Jack. Jack Ellison November 14, 2014 at 10:51 AM Hmmm! Running around nude! Never been to a nudie beach but watching the young fillies go by would be amazing... watching overweight old people (like me)... hmmm! Not so much! Yuck!

Dr. Upma A. Sharma November 14, 2014 at 10:30 AM Wit n great humour Jack! U always give positive energy,, giggling,, wonderful writes! Jack Ellison November 14, 2014 at 10:35 AM Happy to provide the giggles, dear doctor! Loving hugs as usual! XX

Darlene Gifford November 14, 2014 at 8:11 AM Thank for my morning smile, Jack. As to how they kept their fig leaves in place, I think they used the mud of God's good earth. A 7 from me and good morning along with a hug, Darlene Jack Ellison November 14, 2014 at 9:27 AM Good Morning my dear Darlene! Happy to make you smile! You may have it right about the mud from God's green earth!!! Loving huggsies... Jack XXX

Jan Allison November 14, 2014 at 7:21 AM great humour as ever Jack:-) Hugs Jan xx Jack Ellison November 14, 2014 at 7:48 AM Us guys eh! We should take our comedy routine on the road! I can see the marquee now, Allison & Ellison's Giggle Tour! Huggsies XXX

Casarah Nance November 14, 2014 at 7:18 AM Enjoyed your humorous thoughts Jack :) you always make me smile when I read you Jack Ellison November 14, 2014 at 7:44 AM Hey sweet thing! My mission has been accomplished... I made dear Casarah smile! Only happy thoughts today, okay! Loving hugs XXXX

Demetrios Trifiatis November 14, 2014 at 7:17 AM The fig leafs were going in pairs, dear Jack, one front, one back, connected with a natural string! There you are the problem solved BUT what happened in winter when no leafs were not around? They wore nothing and that is the reason we multiplied! Ha-ha! Enjoyed your poem my friend! Have a beautiful time whether you wear a leaf or not! ha-ha! Jack Ellison November 14, 2014 at 9:40 AM Winter... summer... naked bodies might explain it! LOL Demetrios Trifiatis November 14, 2014 at 8:30 AM There was winter, Jack, for how else could you explain population explosion? Ha-ha! Jack Ellison November 14, 2014 at 7:39 AM Of course!!! One in the front and one in the back! Now why didn't I think of that! Duh! The believe I heard somewhere that they never had winters back then! Nope... perpetually warm and sunny twenty-four hours a day with birdies singing happy tunes in the fig trees!!!