Hanky-Panky Janky

I was pretty cranky when my spanky new bike was janky. The frame was too short for my body, too tall and lanky. The tires too fat, too hard to push up boggy maintain trails. The deal I got clearly a lemon janky, all wrapped in hanky-panky. The bike looked so nice out of the box, its chrome frame so glint and shiny. The first sign of trouble was rust on the chain, which made me angry. Squirts of oil needed on chain and axles, to make pedaling smooth. Front and rear nuts needed tightening, else wheel retention was dicey. I set off for ride, bike all fixed up and ship-shaped I hoped, but the brakes did not work when handle grips I groped, Disaster averted, just in nick of time, by dragging my feet on ground. The handle bars were loose, the seat too nippy on bum, but some how I coped. Back home from first ride, mad as hell, I swore I would return the heap of junk, I found the guarantee and read the fine print, but my hopes were sunk when I read that the bike could only be returned to get full refund,if never ridden! So I’m stuck with my Jekyll janky skunk of a bike, deal a flunk, ego shrunk.