Long Humour Poems
Long Humour Poems. Below are the most popular long Humour by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Humour poems by poem length and keyword.
I sailed the seas and took my ease
and spent my share of silver:
embraced the breeze and drank the lees,
from Malta to Manilva.
Audaciously I might opine
that silver has no worth:
for feckless metal cannot shine
when buried in the earth.
A drunkard’s words are juvenile,
a hymn to heathen Horus:
what’s past’s too vast to reconcile:
our chorus lies before us.
You’d use a knife to cut a knot?
You’ll also need a whetter.
so slip some humour in the slot:
you’ll find it slices better!
Though sprinkled daisies may disarm
as well as mighty cedars,
the humble poet yet may charm
his few discerning readers.
I’m glad I’m poorer than a monk,
and not a millionaire:
no hemlock brew was ever drunk
from cups of earthenware.
They all go off to college, where,
like countless grains of rice,
they think to get some knowledge there,
yet bridle at the price.
“Why sing with irony?”, you ask:
see where mankind has got to!
I deem it, when I mull my task,
beyond my powers not to!
I find no lack of living-room
beneath the spreading sky:
the best of me escapes the tomb:
I shall not wholly die.
Catch 22 was fiction
Appealing to a humour like mine
But there was nothing very funny
About Section 69.
The army ran on regulations.
Obey them and you'd be fine
But, beware of that ubiquitous
Queens Regs Section 69.
Devised for situations
Where no others would fit
It took daring luck and skill
To wriggle out from under it.
If they wanted to get you
And couldn't find a way
Section 69
Was brought into play.
Conduct Detrimental,
Which was never defined,
Conduct Unbecoming,
All under Section 69.
A face that didn't fit,
A body deemed too tall,
It didn't really matter
69 covered all.
Two left feet,
A big hairy nose,
Sticky out big ears,
Yes it covered all those.
Every single squaddie
At sometime would meet
That fanatic disciplinarian
With his blank charge sheet.
The only defence really
Was to outrageously lie
if the CO was in good mood
It might just get you by.
So many situations
That were hard to define
But in the end there was always
Good old Section 69.
Catch 22 was fiction
Appealing to a humour like mine
But there was nothing very funny
About Section 69.
WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH,
THE TOUGH LEAVE TOWN?
Two more cities fall to the Taliban.
Send Harris there, that laughing pelican!
Uncle Joe says; "So sorry, to hear!"
"I am off on vacation for Malarkey Beer!
Inflation is up, Uncle Joe denies it.
Tent cities, crime, a nation in the pits.
And I heard him say as he boarded Air Force One"
"My wife still has the hottest buns!"
He slipped on the stairs and mumbled.
"No problem! You all enjoy those cool street rumbles."
"Dr. Fauci will be taking my place, so~
"Take that vaccine, and do not grimace!"
"You Californians, you must keep Newsom."
"He's my man~~a true Marxist cousin!"
8/13/2021
2am PST
The soul is such a complicated thing
It can be filled with joy and laughter one moment
And filled with a feeling of utter despair the next
It's the most mysterious of human traits
It can take the smallest thing to make the pendulum swing
Some happenings can effect our moods more than others
But we are strong enough to overcome them
I'm afraid I don't fall into the that category
My ups and downs can be quite extreme at times
Very extreme highs and very extreme lows
I try my hardest not to be too sensitive
But for people like me, it's nearly impossible
It's inherent in who I am
Perhaps this is what allows me to write
To express my feelings
I often disguise the true inner me with humour
It's my way of coping
But my life would be missing a major part
Without friends to share my poetry
Thank you all!
Oh second hand counting time
upon the liver building gothic clock
Waving goodwill to her dearly departed 3 sister's
Starring gainly upon lady mersey set a blitz
Climbing up her red bricks
Of the old abandoned mill's
And lighting up her failing dock yards
My mother loved you
My father hated growing up in you
And wanted away so much
He joined the royal navy
Dreaming of anywhere but here
As the matriach of fallen ladies
Scruffy Nelley
Treads the cobbles back and forth
From lime street to scotland road
Oh ferry cross the mersey
Oh cruise liner
Oh hms naval ship
Oh scouse dark sense of humour
Oh woolyback
Oh Catholics
Oh yee of Irish decent
Oh tenement
Oh working class
Oh heritage
Oh Great Ormond street market
Oh liver bird's
Under whom we live and dwell
In smoggy shadows
Oh glory
Oh shallow past
Lennons eye's must be burning
6 feet under mining jam butties
in Sir Ken of Dodds Knotty Ash
Oh 2 Cathedral of opposing faith
either side of hope street
Oh St George Hall
Oh Philharmonic
Oh Alan Ginsberg
Centre of the philosophical universe
We only choose to leave
Because we know
We will be welcomed back
With open arm's
For Liverpool is nothing more
Than a place for lost sailors
Set aboard the Titanics final journey
Following the whitest star in the line sky
Searching for a home to return to
The soul is such a complicated thing
It can be filled with joy and laughter one moment
And filled with a feeling of utter despair the next
It's the most mysterious of human traits
It can take the smallest thing to make the pendulum swing
Some happenings can effect our moods more than others
But we are strong enough to overcome them
I'm afraid I don't fall into the that category
My ups and downs can be quite extreme at times
Very extreme highs and very extreme lows
I try my hardest not to be too sensitive
But for people like me, it's nearly impossible
It's inherent in who I am
Perhaps this is what allows me to write
To express my feelings
I often disguise the true inner me with humour
It's my way of coping
But my life would be missing a major part
Without my friends to share my poetry
Thank you all!
I wish my brother
The best of us in a damaged family
Hadn't died
He was my best friend through the years
He kept me level headed and laughing at life
I wish I hadn't gone fishing that day
And missed my brother calling in
It would have been one more time
That I had seen him
Before he left this world
I wish I hadn't hurt
So many innocent people
In my raging youth
I can't go back and apologise
Or fix it
I wish I hadn't let my mouth
Be so loose
Hurting people with careless words
A lot of pointless pain
Could have been avoided
I wish I had been stronger
For my children
When they were young
I could have saved a lot of heartache
For them and for me
I wish I had told my son
That I needed him
Wanted him to come with me
Then he wouldn't have believed
The vicious lies
I wish I could be
The grandma I'd aimed to be
And longed to be
Due to inability to move much
That got lost
I wish I hadn't been so careless
With caring for my body
Through the years
A little bit of caution
And I wouldn't now be crippled
I wish I could
Have my physical health back
But that is no longer an option
Only a miracle
Can change it all
I wish I could find
My old sense of humour
But it's buried too deep
In the physical
And emotional pain
I wish there was a way
To let my mate know
How much I truly love and appreciate him
But no words or gifts
Will ever suffice
I wish there was a way
To stop spiralling down
A little more each day
I don't know how to fight it
Anymore
I wish my time to go
Was here and now
My spirit longs to be freed
But the time
is not mine to choose
Please help me inspire us all
PLEASE KEEP IT GOING
by: All of Us
Eight lines at a time
I don't care if you do or do not rhyme
I just want to see your skill
That's just me keeping it real
I feel this selection will be epic
But it has us all, that was expected
So Please copy this and paste your hearts to it
It doesn't matter where you find it, please let's all just do it (goodest aka eric l boddie)
Response by Jan Allison
I cannot spend the time
to sit and write in rhyme
I've so many words to say
Not enough hours in the day
Your humour makes me smile
I really love your style
This challenge you have set
I'm the first to take the bet
CHALLENGE SET BY ERIC BODDIE TO WRITE AN 8 LINE POEM
PLEASE KEEP IT GOING
10th August 2015
I could shout it on the streets,
I could glisten and I could gleam
add a shade of every colour and make myself believe
that each day I don’t see it, that look on their faces
or that I don’t hear them half listen to every word I say.
I can pretend that I’ve been saved from it all,
been freed from a silence and that I am living my truth
but sometimes the truth is far more ugly:
it’s the reason you never quite become friends, it’s the reason everything always has an end or how every joke lands at your expense because your sensitivity is clearly the strongest in the room.
I’ve always known that my interests just can’t be of interest
that my humour is not what’s being laughed at, in those rare moments I feel I can let loose.
I’ve been conditioned to not take up space
told not to go and shove it in their face
yet when this month falls I’m to go and parade?
Forgive me if I’m now playing the victim
forgetting the sacrifice of so many braver than me,
forgetting the privilege of roaming free
but when your difference brings you so much pain, when it paints the most prominent double yellow you’ve ever seen, you can’t quite seem to feel proud not even for a month.
You think of the secret messages that you’d send to Chris or to Nick or to Jay or to Ben knowing in truth, that you’ll never meet, that you would ignore them if you passed them on the street because it wasn’t you they wanted or they didn’t want what matters; with your clothes still on, the interest just flattens.
You think of life events and how you’re still quite far behind
you’re surrounded by love but it never quite reaches over, you just float in its orbit and congratulate the others celebrating two or more years soon to be three while you sit alone at home, hoping someone can see that you’re desperate to be held, you’ll take just a few moments at this point, you feel the lovelessness flow through you, and how it stiffens all your joints.
A month full of pride? Or is it a month to hide
the crippling ripples of shame that stem from a name
SIR CONRAD
The great explorer Sir Conrad Justine
Disappeared and was never again seen
Got too near the edge
Slipped on the ledge
Fell two thousand feet in to a ravine...
JIMMY
A bottle Jimmy found at the roadside
Drank it all and was lucky he survived
Didn't read the label
Was drunk wasn't able
It wasn't whiskey but neat pesticide...
FRANK
Old Frank went for a ride on a rickshaw
To visit the ancient sights at Mingtaw
Was having a good day
Until the seat gave way
His rear dragged on the ground till it was raw...
BO PEEP
A Shepherd girl called little bo peep
Was so drunk that she soon fell asleep
But it wasn't her day
She woke up in dismay
The wolves had eaten all of her sheep...
PETE
In a rain coat was the flasher called Pete
He loved flashing all his bits in the street
Girls said its too lame
So Pete upped his game
He bought a strapon that hangs to his feet...
JOHN BECK
A sexy stud by the name of John Beck
Below had trouble cried out flipping heck
He took some blue pills
To give girls their thrills
But all it did was give him a stiff neck...
Written 14 September 2019.