Long Humour Poems
Long Humour Poems. Below are the most popular long Humour by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Humour poems by poem length and keyword.
Who am I? I wonder,
All out victory,
or embarrassing blunder,
Bi polar maybe,
The right hand throws and fights,
The left hand mostly writes,
Bi-lateral with ADHD,
You judge that on a stereotype,
You don’t think you do?
Tell me something other than,
I’m a hyperactive stupid type?
As you can see I’m happy confronting,
turn hostile when alphas start fronting,
I’ll take physical pain over mental,
But the ADHD makes me respond quick, with wit,
I use it to prevent the hit for hit,
almost always works except for a few pricks,
fist to the face in those rare cases,
only hit em when they’re standing,
hitting when they’re out on the floor is for disgraces,
pull em up and knock em down once more
so they know where their place is.
I played football, rugby and cricket,
that’s foot to ball football not soccer, sucker,
but I played in goal so it was ball to hand,
the face or even ball to balls football,
and then a few minutes rolling around on the floor
screaming "oh my gawd, hoor",
I’ve got a sense of humour,
it’s better than other humans humour
in that it makes me laugh
and theirs only makes them laugh,
and yes I’m daft,
how else do you have a laugh?
I’m from Bath and I voted BREXIT,
(remainers are now heading for the exit),
or stay with prejudice, I’m not racist,
except to my own race who don’t get pissed,
if you think I am for voting leave you’re a bigot,
and now I am too what an idiot,
but truth be told,
why vote for a political system when no one can get their head around it?
I didn’t vote the EU in but I voted it out,
how did it get in if no one voted?,
corrupt no doubt.
This is all tongue in cheek,
how else would you speak?
and I’ll leave you with this, I know I’m silly,
but when girls see me they say to each other,
"have you seen his big willy".
With all the crap going on in the world
It's a wonder we maintain our humour
Gets difficult if you watch the 6pm news
Leaves us in a kind of a stupor
Shouldn't find it strange or unusual
Been normal as long as we've lived
Would be strange if the news was happy
Ain't happened since I was a kid
Back then war was the news of the day
But to me it was us against them
Too young to know millions were dying
The carnage wreaked by men
What makes us so nasty to each other
Are we only programmed to kill
So why don't I have that killer instinct
Am I missing what gives us the will
Don't want it, not missing it, never had it
Peace loving since I was wee
More concerned with day to day living
Just a merry old soul is me!
What's needed to write good poetry
A vivid imagination and flair
General knowledge and a good vocabulary
Much love and you're almost there
A sense of humour is also important
Each is unique as they say
Adding their own personality to verse
Helps stay ahead of the fray
There's no magic potion one can take
Poetry come from within
There's no mistaking it, you'll surely know
When accolades start pouring in
The thrill you get when someone applauds
It's so very hard to describe
Over the moon is one way of putting it
Feel like you've finally arrived
What's really needed to write good poetry
Dedication, dedication, dedication
A burning desire and a passion for writing
A passion without hesitation
We really thought this was virgin soil
When we sailed upon this land so vast
As we drifted into a secluded cove
Thought we'd stumbled upon the past
Natives sure looked very much like us
But they wore the skimpiest clothes
With only one or two piece coverings
Not a bad looking group by jove
We motioned to them in sign language
We're friendly and we've come in peace
But much to our utter astonishment
They spoke our language with ease
Seems we had stumbled on a sandy beach
On the southwest coast of the state
These natives were actually vacationers
They thought our sailing ship was great
It was really all quite embarrassing
We played dumb and pretended we knew
Said it was our lame attempt at humour
As we thanked them and bid them adieu
So we all got back in our sailing ship
And waved them a fond farewell
We'll never forget our trip to the past
It's a tale for our grandkids to tell
Dawn unfurls
Heat in new light;
Earth awakes
~~~~~~~~~
Poignant sanctuary
Whisper of healing;
Wisdom abides
~~~~~~~~~
Laughter thrills
Zesty humour loiters;
A brand new page
~~~~~~~~~
Buoyant fragrance
Floral metaphors;
Bougainvilleas
~~~~~~~~~
Frangipanni interlude
Red and yellow flowers;
Morning salutation
~~~~~~~~~
Windy highway
Picturesque rainbow arch;
Sunny drizzle dance
~~~~~~~~~
Man to woman
Waltz to love;
Fragrant possibilities
~~~~~~~~~
New Year's Eve
Party animals;
Whiskey and wine
~~~~~~~~~
Study portraits
Charming collage;
Windy harvest
~~~~~~~~~
Autumn rains
Cold and wet dawn;
Inside looking out
~~~~~~~~~
Crisp crackers
Snacking delight;
Odd appetiser
~~~~~~~~~
By the wayside
Humble grass florals;
Beauty wears well
~~~~~~~~~
Coffee shop chatter
Random musings;
Amusing metaphors
~~~~~~~~~
Lovers at dusk
Drifting with romance;
Soon reality morphs
~~~~~~~~~
Words unleash
Haiku maze collage;
Practice prompts tact
~~~~~~~~~
Write cites
Writer's craft;
Amusing musings dash
~~~~~~~~~
Exquisite feelings
Murmurings float;
Romantique excavations
~~~~~~~~~
By the way
Have a nice day;
Dream catcher rainbow
~~~~~~~~~
Leon Enriquez
12 January 2017
Singapore
"From what they say behind my back from those that have never once known me,
Corrupt to their own rumours,
I've always known I'm well above the rest,
Not just within their own thoughts towards me,
But the true stories of me would be shocking to the reality I've done from the brilliance I've done and expressed in life so far,
Your shallow minds are just pure humour towards me nowadays.
I'd walk straight towards you and smile while walking by,
I first thought it was those of the jealous but over time it's taught me that they're more stupid than they do express towards me or others in this so called..."-Ds-
In you, I see glimpse of Divine Entity, I worship the earth you walk on. I gaze upon the stars and see your beauty.
In you, I attain rest from my tiresome journey. I hear sacred verses in your spoken words, where I receive illumination from the darkness of my infinite void.
Interaction with you is meditation that brings me equanimity in turbulence of pain.
You resurrected the yearning of love that was once dead.
Your sense of humour is life -giving tropical rainfall to my desert mind.
I gave you unwavering devotion in the image of transparency and offered openness through creativity. I bared my naked soul without integrity.
In return, I deserve the magic of love but I have lost faith, it's an unobtainable phenomenon for me.
Form:
Started writing poetry then joined Poetry Soup
When submitting a poem I’m really cock a hoop
Have a cyber brother I did meet on line
Think he's quite amazing his poetry's divine
He said one day we were separated at birth
His comment amused me and filled me with mirth
Soon was confirmed we certainly were twins
Both write silly poetry and both have hairy chins
Cyber sister Jan started my big old heart a-ticking
Since entering my life it's sure been a-clicking
Wake up each morning can't wait for sister Jan
Even check my inbox before going to the can
She never disappoints though we're an ocean apart
Start's my motor racing, got a hold of my heart
Haven't figured out why I deserve such a friend
Separated at birth we'll be friends to the end
Noticed on some comments people call him ‘Kenny’
He’d love to sing with Dolly – guess he’s one of many
Jack and Dolly’s greatest hits I see it in my mind
But Cathie said no, guess she’s being real kind
From Jack’s picture, think he’s more like a Santa
We get on great as bro and sis with much silly banter
I’m so very fortunate to find my cyber brother
If I had to choose one couldn’t wish for another
It's a well known fact, Brits lack a sense of humour
Sister Jan sure puts a kibosh on that silly rumour
She makes me cackle and wet my pantaloons
Sometimes I snort like a silly old buffoon
At my ripe old age of fifty-eight plus twenty
Things don't work well, I have heartburn a plenty
But the heartburn I have is caused by my love
My dear sister Jan gives my heart a big shove
~ Collaboration Poem by J Allison & J Ellison
written for contest sponsored by Jared Pickett
29,200 days
I have lived on this Planet Earth
And at some point during each of those days
It was given over to mirth
Guess you could say I'm a contented person
With more than my share of happy
Why me? I have often asked
How come I'm so slap happy
Is it just a roll of the dice
That determines which path we travel
Or at some point do we look at things
And say, in humour I'd like to dabble
Whatever the reason, whatever the cause
I've ended up sending out sillies
Had more than my share of happiness stuff
Guess that's why I'm a silly-billy
29,200 days
That's a humongous amount of days
But it's not a family record
One sister lived 34,310, aren't you amazed?
© Jack Ellison 2015
Dripping emotions end
When dripping emotions end up in stare,
all churned up humour, fuming breaths of flair,
Subtle shreds of heart foresee no mend,
a waning smile these tender pieces pretend,
Shuddered by endless tides of strife,
evanesced the faintest melody of my life,
Plethora of thoughts and broken threads,
rests tranquil the soul, at deepest beds,
Expressions of ache, in vivid colours carved,
no twinkle in eyes, my looks are scarred.
Written Sept 15th, 2016
For contest "All the little pieces"
Sponsor- Broken wings
Entered for "Contest 203 any form max 14 lines" by Brian Strand