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Spineless In the Running

Was this a bold  endeavour or worst-case high risk plot?
 In one sense I was caught between two poles apart  concerns.
One must never underestimate indeed trivialise a devilish 
difficult decision.
A decision that may return to  haunt me without recess.
Rumination and recrimination during all life’s phases are firm statistical likelihoods.
Options to heal oneself and others a simultaneous pursuit.
To join a six mile fun run for desperate  persons  was the quandary at hand.
I lived in a picturesque town endowed with  stunning scenic features not found in glossy tourist  brochures.
But like most spots it was prone to cyclic downturns.
Broad umbrella groups organised the aforementioned fun run.
A constant sight for goodwill staff to have their stainless steel  bowls, coin drops even raffles among a raft of approaches for raising funds.
 Such activists who campaign for the voiceless, those on margins,
invalids with harsh ailments deserve support.
Who could be so callous as to show complete indifference  when human feeling was at stake?
Of passers-by there were slight  numbers but I hasten to report  our giving spirit had not yet reached its bland nadir.
Some might infer that matters of such ilk preoccupied this writer who had the privilege to dwell in a modest but ample modern flat.
Another dwelling did unfold, ironic dwellings whilst I cast fleeting  glances at what might seem resplendent.
At thirty one my physique was fair-to-middling.
Only recently had I warmed  to wellness clinics, yoga, meditation, athletic training, muscle tone which one’s doctor was apt to stress.
How match fit those other runners might be was mere  conjecture.
Pros and cons did  somersault inside this head of mine that thought participation was best council.
Rare  possessions, grand adornments, fine antiques  I 
bought on impulse  posed an eerie stark dilemma.
When it comes to shunning due behaviour home inducements might  skew further action.
A presumed  awkwardness, gaucherie, self-consciousness (real or imagined) are that collective
burden which must not lessen staunch  commitment.
Having noticed that  plum  shade decor  I was delighted  to enjoy with gourmet kitchen as centrepiece a choice was born.
Structured in  an algebraic fashion with dovetail proxy style it resembled a museum.
Sink and tap head shrouds first port of call for morning tea.
 I have some duties which I’m honour bound  to meet.
Steps from this house could be granite-laden minefields.
Rugged pockmarks gouged out by a chisel from that tyrant called the elements.
Sumptuous garden plant designs, however,  purged inherent sluggishness within.
Their spectral hue and blossom droop gave my world an eye bright fillip for “project generous” nearby.

On a warm summer noon an earnest massive  group assembled where a carnival atmosphere rendezvous held sway. 
Labyrinthine does not begin to do justice to idyllic settings that would enthuse each one germane to this event.
Well known figures, renowned for kindness and their sense of humour were taking part 
Along the way it was so heartening to see the many families express  approval in vibrant waves.
It began to make some sense
as things dawned about real gestures and their import.
Healing as catharsis from within had a wider societal dimension.
If I had stayed inside at home I’d have lost a vital part of me.
Scruples forever nagging about failure in my life quest  had to happen.
Doubt surrounding  gumption  and the will  to soldier on  must surely linger.
I managed to sustain this inner dialogue while attempts were made to keep pace.
Another thing I could have been deprived of was this rich and royal  canvass I now imbibe.
Lush briars might scrape my fragile hand as flies drone overhead.
Prickly hedges dripped with beads of squash black fruit that bask in a sticky sun-lit mist,
Birds in flight who blithely scrape and scratch taut grey twigs to shed.
Startled creeper on a dart from tree to tree, as my fellow joggers had this struggle to continue yet we somehow fed off each other’s innate drive.
A cloud of remedial recrudescence now that embryonic omen.
One could never savour this enchantment from a comfort zone.
Footpath verges had  grass shoot  flicks that cavort in a light south-east breeze.
Haywire brambles whose overlapping tentacles stretch o’er  mounds.
Star shape brown leaves a cover veil  for random sharp spikes.  
Hazardous but still a charmed repertoire beyond the heavens not witnessed if pointless fear had forced me to cave in.
Altruism vied  as  zeal with stamina depleting trial yet this mind kept absorbing awesome splendour.
To retreat is blatant  folly whilst grand  chapters  sprout 
huge exponents.  
Wafer thin cloud frills weave kaleidoscopic azure blue sky. 
They added to their scope by graceful skirting off rooftops and distant rock forms on urban outskirts.
Vivacious youths cast fresh encouragement which was good for  morale.
I paused whilst taking stock.
“Keep going.  We know you can complete the course.
It’s a credit to you. Youth clubs will benefit.”
 Kindness as impetus in train.
And the curative undercurrent a symbiotic motive as connection.
To get involved was the right thing to do after all.
As the race drew to an end there were still more diversions.
Exotic whiffs of bombay mix, tofu essence, soya oil emanating from market hubs.
Docker’s raucous voices with threadbare naval yarns drowning out 
their ship’s foghorn blast.
Tone poem chapel bells whose dulcet peal transmit vivid  flourish.
But at last I sauntered past the finish line to handclap raptures from officials  and well wishers alike.
Large sums were raised and allocated.
Yes “I chose to run” from housebound cowardice.
In retrospect, I’m glad I did!
To shed one’s inhibition a minor ailment whilst raising funds for those most in need is the ultimate in healing therapy

Copyright © Howard Kerr | Year Posted 2022

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