Long Hooter Poems

Rum was feeling playful so he went to find a mouse
He looked in every nook and cranny right throughout the house
But all the mice were sound asleep for it was dark outside
And then Rum saw...

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The Joys of Getting Older.

We may all be getting on a bit
But lets not forget for some more fortunate
 The joy of it

You don’t have to bounce up and down in bed no more
And when...

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One day I saw this beautiful lady and I was hoping, begging she'd come stop 
by my Petrol Station. It was the best in town. It had the cleanest oil and the 
cheapest prices. My...

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Twas on the eve of Christmas and St Nick was feeling glum
because his leading reindeer had some problems with his tum.
With Dasher feeling poorly, Santa wondered what to do,
he needed to leave Toyland soon, but...

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I accept what i need offer up what's left
Let ridicule fall on ears that are deft
Just as a fisherman catches fish on his hook
I write out my poems and put together books
The reason I do...

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There’s an old village green where a marquee was seen
I don’t do ‘Bah humbug’, don’t want to be mean
A little fake snow ain’t a Christmassy scene
But the reindeer and Santa Claus might well have been

But...

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Santa, I have an important request.
Please don't embarrass me with ho ho hos.
If you'd looked at my face you might have guessed.
I'm serious about fixing my nose.

I can sense you are stifling your laughter.
Your bowl...

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hear others out there, just beyond my wall-wrapped sharing space
  they break on through, sneaking inside my head
  far above, front-nosed pilots point high-flying seated people tubes
  passengers squeezed in tight, some...

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Covid 19 leaves restless kiddies with parents’ imagination at home

So why not create fantasy in the lounge for a resilient pleasure dome

Grannies’ chest of drawers comes alive as a goal with lace for a net

No...

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My heart was pumping hard that day I faced the maddening crowd, 
Despite the spinning in my head I stood there mighty proud. 
Though racked with pain my reddened hand acknowledged them a wave 
And...

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As you are aware I get what I call my inspiration, if that’s the word, for my poems from news items and a comment by Meryl Streep at the recent awards ceremony for actors/actresses /films...

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In Scotland, it is illegal to be drunk in possession of a cow

But is it legal to make love to a cow while drunk

A man named Ronald MacDonald once robbed Wendy's

That sure sounds like a...

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FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS - 

Bad-ass old bear:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

Dachshund making critical life choices:
     Eenie
     Weenie...

Cougar from Arizona:
...

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FOOTLES FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BEASTS - 

Bad-*** old bear:
    Grizzly
    Grizzly

Dachshund making critical life choices:
     Eenie
     Weenie...

Cougar from Arizona:
...

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The first derriere shot,
that killed everyone’s appetite,
came from a second-rate, 
light tipping looter

A no-class hothead bum,
who had bun fiddy no-good burger 
burglar instincts

Amateur night out
introduced a new bottom bang-bang 
beatnik on the back end drum...

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Every piece of furniture I am becoming attached
Is that possible?
Nah cannot be
You cannot become attached to things - personal things
Just like you cannot become attached to people
I am tired of being the mannequin
Guinea pig -...

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Once a pong of thyme
Adrift upon a gentle breeze
It’s herbal scents did find me
And it brought me to my knees

For once a pong of thyme
Inhaled by pauper or by king
Has that man an allergy
Then wheezing...

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There is no me 
where on the sand I cannot find your trace today
where white bird that is very sad
where white bird that is very sad has longing near me at the bay.
I'm only there
with...

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a bouncing ball against a wall
        conkers bashed as Autumn falls
the swish of a skipping rope:

    milk bottles clinking in a crate
   ...

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a bouncing ball against a wall
        conkers bashed as Autumn falls
the swish of a skipping rope:

    milk bottles clinking in a crate
   ...

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Do you race to win?
Seems to me we really do.
Like the win when we compete.
Or do you want to be like me?
I’m never first, can’t you see.
I have three speeds that I go.
There’s stop, dead...

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To the owner of the minivan conveniently blocking my exit:

May the sweat of a thousand footballers invade your nostril
May the sound of a truck hooter invade your thoughts so shrill
May you freely step into the...

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copyright© shonima burman

In the deep darkness of night,
They complete their silent flight.
With a flat face and forward facing eyes,
They rotate their head and neck upto 270 degrees.
Despite having binocular vision,
Their eyes are completely immobile in...

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Money is a matter.
Telling me a Potter.
Child is very expensive,
Posted me a daughter.

When you was a child,
Your mum wasn’t wild,
If she can afford you,
Why are you a hooter?

I work always hard,
But my wife was a...

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